|Occupation||Sendin' out gummint checks|
|Introduction||I'm a drunk jackass residing in the Washington, DC area. I don't know you, but I'd probably hate you and your entire family. If you see me at the Black Cat, buy me a fuckin' drink already.|
|Interests||Green tea, kicking ass, the true strength of street knowledge|
|Favorite Movies||GoodFellas, Invincible Armor, Sin City, Brain Candy, The Royal Tenenbaums, Taxi Driver, The Good The Bad and the Ugly|
|Favorite Music||Oh good god I'm not even going to try. Just read the damn blog, idiot. I will say that "Dream Police" is probably the greatest song ever done by anyone.|
|Favorite Books||Barely Legal, Swank...wait. Um, Madame Bovary, Picture of Dorian Gray, Confederacy of Dunces, Our Band Could Be Your Life, Please Kill Me, Me Talk Pretty One Day|
You're trapped in a well with a goat and a slinky. Describe how you will escape.
Save me, Shirt Tails!