|IT Application Support Specialist
|Oregon, United States
|• I feel that each of us needs somebody to introduce us. If famous people don't introduce themselves, what's good enough for them is good enough for me. And they would say something like I'm a self-proclaimed hypocrite. Because if you say you're hypocritical from the outset, then people have no other recourse but to embrace your hypocrisy with you. It's a brilliant tactic that could only be pulled off by someone who's both hypocritical and self-aware. Other than that, I don't do anything. I just sit here at the computer waiting for people to read my introduction and then tell me about the experience. Most of you would think this would be a rather boring existence I lead, but the hours are pretty reasonable and it keeps me off the streets. If I were out on the streets, then I'd be falling down in potholes, tripping over speed bumps, and otherwise getting in the way of automobiles. It's safer for everyone if I stay confined to my lair up in the attic. I could use a little more lighting, but overall it's a fairly decent arrangement.
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When your science teacher smashed a frozen rose with a hammer, did you warm the petals to bring them back to life?
No, actually I felt sorry for the hammer, because it wasn't getting enough sympathy.