My blogs

About me

Occupation Writer
Location East Devon, United Kingdom
Introduction I'm an East Londoner who's got previous in advertising, the pub trade and a whole heap of cameo roles in jobs that really 'weren't my thing'. Having tied some sheets to the window, I now crash around in sunny East Devon and write(between shaking my fist at caravans and generally prodding dawdlers up the jacksie). I'm the author of 'Tales From Around The Bend', the finest short story collection ever produced in the history of mankind. I'm a tad manic. Impatient. And a snotter and guffawer. For more dibbings about the chaos that has been my life so far, plunge into and ruthlessly click your mouse on 'About The Author'. You can also break down and buy a copy of my book, but be's not for big girl's blouses...
Interests Drinking steadily when in the company of arseholes, thrashing around on my computer keyboard, getting irritated by ditherers, recklessly pant swinging to my favourite tunes, gesticulating at caravan drivers, looking pained at slow bar staff, hoofing it up Hay Tor, gambling on unreliable horses, watching obscene amounts of rugby, pushing in at the bar, boldly striding along sea fronts with the wind blowing through my wind-lashed locks, drinking steadily throughout.
Favorite Movies Quirky grown-up films that don't involve children or any of the cast of Sex In The City.
Favorite Music Anything that has me doing laps of my front room and vaulting the furniture, anything that has me crooning dewy-eyed into my vodka beaker, anything that makes me feel as though I have a pulse.
Favorite Books My offering to the vodka gods 'Tales From Around The Bend', books that make me look markedly more intelligent than I am, old black and white books with French subtitles, Martin Amis.

If mud is dirt plus water, what is clay?

Clay is fun. When of the correct sloshy consistency and hurled at a spinning wheel at the appropriate speed and trajectory, it will omit a satisfying wet fart sound which may reduce the throwee to snorts of infantile laughter and render him or her useless for an unspecified length of time.