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Introduction My experiences, beliefs and desires are vast and self-contradicting. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I have spurts of budding faith and stifling doubt. As I attended Protestant denominations, I sought to convert Mormons. To strengthen my polemics, I studied anti-Mormon material. Then I temporarily abandoned Christian thought to embrace atheism. A longtime supporter of LGBT community, I only recently identify as gay. Immersion in a community that constantly pushes heterosexual marriage frustrates me. I am an idealist. I imagine the world as I think it should be. Let’s all just get along. I am a people pleaser to a fault. I want the LDS Church to be true. I love being in the temple. As I consider serving a mission, the stack of anti-material I once created haunts me. Previously I held to truth as the highest transcendental. I Now realize my own happiness is easier to judge than the veracity of a church. Nevertheless, I want to know if the LDS Church is true, good and beautiful. My appreciation for the Church’s principles, prophets and procedures has been acquired through chosen blindness towards elephants. I want to see the elephants and hear them out.
Favorite Books Narnia, You're not as Crazy as I Think, Till We Have Faces, On Writing, Just After Sunset, The Silver Chair, Junk, Heartbeat, You Are Special, Tell me the Secrets, Uglies, Mere Christianity, The Glass Castle, Sideways Stories from Wayside School, Chrysalides, On the Incarnation, Oh Me of Little Faith, Falling Up, Searching for God Knows What, Number the Stars, Nothing at All, Out of the Silent Planet, I Kill Giants