|Occupation||sandal-wearing goldfish tender|
|Location||Chicago, Illinois, United States|
|Introduction||Oh, by the way, I'm awesome.|
|Interests||pedicures, autumn, Champagne grapes|
|Favorite Movies||Spirited Away, Superfly, Metropolitan, Women on the Verge of A Nervous Breakdown, Super Troopers, Napoleon Dynamite, and anything with the word "Shrek" in its title|
|Favorite Music||Elvis Presley, The Smiths, De La Soul, A Tribe Called Quest, St. Etienne, Kylie Minogue, Prince, James Brown, LL Cool J, Run-DMC, Al Green|
|Favorite Books||Jane Austen, Beverly Cleary, Judy Blume, Sue Townsend, Laurie Colwin, David Sedaris, Lynda Barry, Paul Theroux, Calvin Trillin, Ovid|
You're trapped in a well with a goat and a slinky. Describe how you will escape.