Ned Ludd

My blogs

About me

Introduction I invented blogging in the 90s when my doctor told me that I had to find an alternative to flogging. I hit upon the idea of a 'diary for the internet' - a rich and varied description of everything that happened in my world. I soon realised that my world was not rich and varied. So I decided to take up blogging instead. I have always wondered what would have happened had I carried on flogging....................... By the way, I am also the man who is famous for teaching Bill Gates how to speak in tongues. I think that he can now speak in fifteen of them (at least the last time I counted).... Now, few know that Bill is also a master of disguise. Last Halloween we went trick or treating. I was dressed as the Pope and he appeared as the Virgin Mary. Somewhat foolishly we did our stuff in 'Little Italy'. People were on their hands and knees blessing the ground that Bill was walking on and assumed that they were about to witness the second coming. Unfortunately Bill put a stop to all this when he started throwing eggs at passers-by who refused him the proverbial 'treat'. What a guy.... He said to me, "Ned, this sure beats writing software code!"
Interests Appearing on Dragon's Den. I was the chap who tried to get funding for the portable lion tamer - very handy if the security at your local zoo is not very good. I asked for 100K for a ten per cent stake, but sadly Theo Paphitis rumbled me when he blew through one end of it and realised that it was in fact a 'kazoo' that I had picked up from a toy shop.

At this time of festive cheer, let us think of those less fortunate than ourselves, those who don't have beards. For, in winter their chins will be icy and they will have nowhere to squirrel away their food. My mother, who indeed was fortunate enough to sport a wild and wooly chin of hair, said, "Without this beard, I would be a much poorer person." Amen.