|Occupation||High School Assistant Principal|
|Location||Midwest, United States|
|Introduction||Have you not read about me in People? Not seen my documentary film? Well, I don't think I have time for you either.|
|Interests||Popping bubble wrap and re-hanging pictures to a better height for people shorter than I. Cutting bitches.|
|Favorite Movies||Come on. I can't list my favorite 679 movies HERE.|
|Favorite Music||Any music with a ukelele. Or bongos. Otherwise, nothing.|
|Favorite Books||What? Me, read? Pppppfffftttt.|
You can punch a hole in an apple using a straw. How do you think that makes your milkshake feel?
Like all the boys want to come into the yard. My milkshake has that effect.