My blogs

About me

Introduction	When I was little, I ate too many sweet potatoes and turned orange. My mother had a pet squirrel monkey. I dropped out of law school after one month and got divorced after less than a year. I've been arrested for trespassing at an abandoned mental institution. I had an emotional collapse when I got my first B+ in eighth grade and I confronted my teacher about her cruelty when she came into the Starbucks where I worked seven years later. My life revolves around my bicycle. I was nicknamed Horsegirl in high school because I apparently galloped. My father coined the phrase, "I like to pull through, that way people think I backed in." I write about all of this and more. My mother says I use too much profanity; my friends say I'm too snooty; my neighbors are traumatized by my stories about my feelings and my inability to digest corn. I just write when the urge moves me and hope you're amused. I'm that person who laughs louder than anyone else at her own jokes, though, so while I'm snorting with hysterics, you're probably closing your browser. Oh well. I tried.

Introduction

When I was little, I ate too many sweet potatoes and turned orange. My mother had a pet squirrel monkey. I dropped out of law school after one month and got divorced after less than a year. I've been arrested for trespassing at an abandoned mental institution. I had an emotional collapse when I got my first B+ in eighth grade and I confronted my teacher about her cruelty when she came into the Starbucks where I worked seven years later. My life revolves around my bicycle. I was nicknamed Horsegirl in high school because I apparently galloped. My father coined the phrase, "I like to pull through, that way people think I backed in." I write about all of this and more. My mother says I use too much profanity; my friends say I'm too snooty; my neighbors are traumatized by my stories about my feelings and my inability to digest corn. I just write when the urge moves me and hope you're amused. I'm that person who laughs louder than anyone else at her own jokes, though, so while I'm snorting with hysterics, you're probably closing your browser. Oh well. I tried.