the uncaged canary
My blogs
| Introduction | Hi I'm Amy. Because I have experienced chronic pain, I feel like I can help people with physical or emotional pain simply by letting you know that you are not alone. I felt so alone for so long. So not understood. I think it would have felt lovely to come across someone who understood physical pain and its emotional ramifications. I want to come out of hiding. I feel like for years I have gone deeper into hiding because of this pain. Facade maintenance ruled. I was good at putting on makeup and doing my hair. So, often when I went into my “social circles” for lack of a better phrase, I looked “fine”. And I didn’t want to be all complain-y, and I’d seen the look on some people’s faces when I did open up and say, “actually, things are not going well…” like they just wanted to run away, so I decided to close down. To live behind the facade, for the most part. And the more I said, “just fine, thanks”, the more I hid just a little deeper, until I was pretty isolated, physically and emotionally. I don’t want to disappear. I really want to emerge. To let go of the fear and secrets of isolated pain and just be freaking real. Cuz I’m so so tired of being fake. |
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