|Occupation||Yam Interrogation and Beet Rehabilitation|
|Introduction||I am a mystery, wrapped in an enigma, microwaved on "barely literate" for 15 seconds and served ala mode.|
|Interests||Unlocking the secrets to time travel using only my keen intellect and the help of my plucky young assistant "Penny". Also, mooning co-eds.|
|Favorite Movies||Things involving Zombies, or real humor, or Keanu Reeves.|
|Favorite Books||Think of the coolest smartest most intellectually-stimulating book you've ever read and then put it on this list. Who's impressive? I am.|
How is an ankle unlike a consequence?
Snapping a consequence won't make me scream like a girl.