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Views \u0026amp; Reviews."},"link":[{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#feed","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"https://www.blogger.com/feeds/6756132/posts/default/-/Him?alt\u003djson-in-script\u0026max-results\u003d6"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"https://www.blogger.com/feeds/6756132/posts/default/-/Him?alt\u003djson-in-script\u0026max-results\u003d6"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.abbiereal.net/search/label/Him"},{"rel":"hub","href":"http://pubsubhubbub.appspot.com/"},{"rel":"next","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"https://www.blogger.com/feeds/6756132/posts/default/-/Him/-/Him?alt\u003djson-in-script\u0026start-index\u003d7\u0026max-results\u003d6"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Abbie"},"uri":{"$t":"https://www.blogger.com/profile/14265494155672178468"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"//blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3ZlB3UUlhyXMQIaOi0DTXHREeL7tPKYtpZW-Cgma25DaIFEbiZkZ0D08RVrDzo_ROLV5ScywRCzPoxvWl-vj28vl2O-0rfZuHdTJurdaZeEmlLum-GUVmb2ouddpHRQ/s113/AbbieGorgeous.jpg"}}],"generator":{"version":"7.00","uri":"https://www.blogger.com","$t":"Blogger"},"openSearch$totalResults":{"$t":"34"},"openSearch$startIndex":{"$t":"1"},"openSearch$itemsPerPage":{"$t":"6"},"entry":[{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6756132.post-8654798472069486595"},"published":{"$t":"2007-12-03T05:52:00.002+08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-07-10T02:15:32.645+08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Abbie"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Drama"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Favorites"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Him"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"SEEING IS BELIEVING"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003cdiv align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eIt's two hours away before I prepare for work and I have two options. Either to take a 2-hour power nap or make a blog post. I obviously chose the latter.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eSeeing is believing that's the theme for this post. Very appropriate for what I saw last night accidentally at Friendster. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-weight:bold;\"\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eI saw a picture of my ex with his new girlfriend.\u003c/span\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eBy EX I mean THE ex, as in the last one, as in my OGL, as in the one who broke my heart  \u003cspan style\u003d\"font-style:italic;\"\u003ethe baddest\u003c/span\u003e, as in the subject of a year’s worth of post on this blog, as in Mark.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eThe good thing is I am actually cool and okay about it. Really. And I am not writing this just to convince myself. I envisioned this moment months ago and I was expecting that I will be hurt beyond measure and will cry uncontrollably. Well, I am unexpectedly calm and okay when I saw it. Either I don’t care anymore or I’ve already moved on big time. Both are great possibilities. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eThe bad thing is I am still blogging about it. What for, right? I actually don’t know. All I know is that I am probably not giving myself enough credit for what I achieved in my moving on process. I know that I am already this close to achieving inner peace. I am actually happy for myself because I am back to being happy. I am now out of the rut. I even know that I am somehow ready to take the plunge again sans baggages. I used to feel for a very very long time that I was trapped in a black hole of despair. It was THAT bad. Brokenhearts are truly nasty and sadness is even worse. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eI actually asked if seeing their picture is a sign. Is it a sign from God telling me that I am actually and completely over him? I truly believe that God will not make us experience things that we are not ready for.  I often pray for these things. I always pray to him to not give me crap that I cannot handle. So is this a sign that I have already and gracefully moved on? I hope so and I am so excited to find out!\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eI called my friend \u003ca href\u003d\"http://taetin.tabulas.com\"\u003eTin\u003c/a\u003e almost after I saw their picture. She asked if I am crying and I said no. What for? I told her that \"ours\" was ages ago. It was actually one of the realizations that hit me when I saw it. I realized that he and I happened eons ago and the feeling of hurt should have long expired by now. Yeah, it might be a bit recent for me considering the painful things I went through but in reality it was already a year and a half ago. It's actually funny because its been a while since I last bothered to analyze my feelings so I am surprised at the recent events and my unexpected reaction. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eMy ex is an expert in ruining special occasions for me. \u003ca href\u003d\"http://abbieunreal.blogspot.com/2005/08/morning-after-august-13s-have-always.html\"\u003eOne of our pseudo break-ups\u003c/a\u003e happened the day after my 27th birthday, our biggest fight was in one of our Decembers and...\u003ca href\u003d\"http://abbieunreal.blogspot.com/2007/08/one-before-big-three-oh-happy-birthday.html\"\u003eI learned that he already got a new girlfriend \u003c/a\u003eminutes after I turned 29 years old (which was just last August). He called, we did some catching up, and it was mentioned in the conversation. I was surprised but he fortunately did not tell me who she was. But of course (being me) I had an inkling who she was and I confirmed that hunch last night. It may be part of the reason why I am so calm on seeing them together because I was not surprised that it's her. I actually know her and she knows me. We've met before when Mark and I were still together and she was still with somebody else. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eOf course I am but human to feel a tinge (take note: a TINGE) of hurt. Seeing something like this belongs to another level no matter how grounded someone is. After all the last girl I've seen with Mark in that way was ME. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eBut at the end of the day I know that \u003cspan style\u003d\"font-weight:bold;\"\u003eSEEING\u003c/span\u003e something like this will help me more than hurt me because I \u003cspan style\u003d\"font-weight:bold;\"\u003eBELIEVE\u003c/span\u003e that this is a new ball game and it's the renewed me who saw it. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr\u003e"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"https://www.abbiereal.net/feeds/8654798472069486595/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.abbiereal.net/2007/12/seeing-is-believing.html#comment-form","title":"9 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"https://www.blogger.com/feeds/6756132/posts/default/8654798472069486595"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"https://www.blogger.com/feeds/6756132/posts/default/8654798472069486595"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.abbiereal.net/2007/12/seeing-is-believing.html","title":"SEEING IS BELIEVING"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Abbie"},"uri":{"$t":"https://www.blogger.com/profile/14265494155672178468"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"//blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3ZlB3UUlhyXMQIaOi0DTXHREeL7tPKYtpZW-Cgma25DaIFEbiZkZ0D08RVrDzo_ROLV5ScywRCzPoxvWl-vj28vl2O-0rfZuHdTJurdaZeEmlLum-GUVmb2ouddpHRQ/s113/AbbieGorgeous.jpg"}}],"thr$total":{"$t":"9"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6756132.post-5010035428316506166"},"published":{"$t":"2007-08-05T20:59:00.000+08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2007-11-02T20:16:45.184+08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Abbie"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Him"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Musings"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"THE FARMER AND I"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003cdiv align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eWhen I was fresh out of college all I wanted was to be this big-time corporate yuppie who can outwit and give intellectual views and opinions at any given time. Being employed in a big corporation was one of the best places for me then. In there I learned a lot and I gained a lot of friends who are as talented and as competitive as I am. It was the beginning of the fulfillment of my dream.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eThen I met you. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eI met you unexpectedly and life was never been quite the same. My dream of world domination suddenly went out of the window and the dream of a simple life with you came into being. I will never forget the soulful Tagaytay conversation I had with you years back when we dreamed not of careers and high-flying jobs but of the simple life at the farm. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eYou were the farmer and I was the writer.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eWe said that we'll do it in a heartbeat. We'll move far and away to our little farm where you'll be contented with your vegetables and I with my little notebook filled with countless stories and memoirs. That's the simple life we both dreamed then. Who needs technology and money when we have each other in our own simple nest?\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eBut, of course, the farm went away with you. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eI am now back at my cube in the high-rise building with other go-getters like me. I am back to the rat-race once more. Back to my original pursuit of conquering the world. I often wonder what became of you. Are you a Farmer now? Do you already have another Writer with you? I am afraid that I don't want to know the answers. But, sometimes, when I am alone at night, I cannot help but dream of the farm and the endless love it promised would give.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eUntil we meet again.\u003c/div\u003e"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"https://www.abbiereal.net/feeds/5010035428316506166/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.abbiereal.net/2007/08/farmer-and-i.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"https://www.blogger.com/feeds/6756132/posts/default/5010035428316506166"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"https://www.blogger.com/feeds/6756132/posts/default/5010035428316506166"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.abbiereal.net/2007/08/farmer-and-i.html","title":"THE FARMER AND I"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Abbie"},"uri":{"$t":"https://www.blogger.com/profile/14265494155672178468"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"//blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3ZlB3UUlhyXMQIaOi0DTXHREeL7tPKYtpZW-Cgma25DaIFEbiZkZ0D08RVrDzo_ROLV5ScywRCzPoxvWl-vj28vl2O-0rfZuHdTJurdaZeEmlLum-GUVmb2ouddpHRQ/s113/AbbieGorgeous.jpg"}}],"thr$total":{"$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6756132.post-4291703588671093267"},"published":{"$t":"2007-06-04T23:40:00.000+08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-02-25T06:46:33.979+08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Abbie"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Job Hunt"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Rants"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Drama"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Him"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"I'M IN NEED OF A DISTRACTION. A HUGE ONE."},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cspan class\u003d\"insertedphoto\"\u003e\u003cimg class\u003d\"alignright\" src\u003d\"http://images.abbiereal.multiply.com/image/1/photos/upload/300x300/RmR73QoKCp4AAEqQKEs1/Broken.jpg?et\u003dczRPjvnj5x2DVWUTdRX6GA\" border\u003d\"0\"\u003e\u003c/span\u003e   Today is definitely NOT my day. For someone who's just bumming, surfing\u0026nbsp;and sleeping all day then\u0026nbsp;this is\u0026nbsp;a telling one. \u003cem\u003e(I am in-between jobs right now. Just ended the\u0026nbsp;other one last week and is due to start on the next mid-June).\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eFirst, I called the PLDT Clinic where I'm having my medical exams and learned that the results of my FBS (Fasting Blood Sugar) is not yet in. My goodness, its been days! How long does it take to friggin' examine a blood sample? Smart is already hurrying me and I am already losing my mind about it. They already offered the job two Thursdays ago and I have yet to sign the employment contract because I am still waiting for the results of the med\u0026nbsp;exam. That's very important because that will determine if I can really be IN.\u0026nbsp;It will be a huge letdown if I fail the med exams. I mean, of all things??? \u003c/p\u003e \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eSecond, I got a call from one of my media friends this afternoon and he told me that my replacement was introduced this afternoon at the Goodyear press conference. Well, I know that I should not be bitter about it and just move on. After all, I already left and is quite happy about it. Maybe it's just my ever-present competitive nature that's kicking in. Maybe I am just having a hard time accepting that I was \"replaced\" despite the fact that my future career\u0026nbsp;is bigger, better\u0026nbsp;and brighter. I just feel that I was used and \u003cem\u003eforgotten.\u003c/em\u003e Oh well.\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eNow here's the dilemma that prompted me to blog. I was\u0026nbsp;cleaning my e-mails\u0026nbsp;the other day when I saw a two-year old\u0026nbsp;e-mail from my ex. It was just a random message. He told me to re-direct all his job hunt related e-mails to his personal mails. He mentioned two addresses, one in Yahoo and the other in Hotmail, which I've forgotten about until I saw it again the other day. The ex and I never communicated on-line except on some e-mails here and there. So it was really a stupid move when I added his Yahoo ID to my Messenger last Thursday. \u003cem\u003eDang! \u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eWhen I logged\u0026nbsp;at YM\u0026nbsp;this evening, I saw that he accepted my invitation \u003cem\u003e(Dang! Dang!)\u0026nbsp;\u003c/em\u003eand was also on-line. There was also a status message near his name that goes like: \u003cem\u003e\"Yep, I'm here.\"\u003c/em\u003e Here I go again. I promised to distance myself from him and I've been successful about it until now. Its been months since we have last seen each other. Its been months since\u0026nbsp;our last communication, save from his courtesy reply of \u003cem\u003e\"Goodluck and God Bless! Beautiful things are in store.\" \u003c/em\u003eto my generic and\u0026nbsp;for everyone e-mail\u0026nbsp;of\u0026nbsp;\u003cem\u003e\"I'm leaving Goodyear, here's my updated contact info...\"\u003c/em\u003e to which I did not bother to reply. \u003c/p\u003e \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eWe are both aware that we are distancing ourselves from each other. It's the elephant in the room. I know that he values me and my feelings too much thus he's taking my lead and not communicating. He knows that maintaining our friendship will hurt me more. That I know. He wants me to be happy and he knows that I wouldn't be able to if he's still around. \u003c/p\u003e \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eThe incident tonight was really shallow and so-so compared to the stupid things I did before. I will not be surprised if you are now shaking your head on the time you've wasted reading this. But missteps like this are\u0026nbsp;huge deal\u0026nbsp;for me. I need to focus on the the letting go. I need to focus on the moving on. Bright and wonderful things are ahead of me thus I should not be distracted and should stay focused.\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eI dunno what happened to me the other night. I dunno what happened to me tonight. night. I dunno what happened when I friggin' added him at YM. \u003cem\u003eArrrgggh!\u003c/em\u003e But at least I logged-out immediately before I can click his name and say \"Buzz!\". I don't want to know things about him. I don't want to know what he's doing with his life now. I don't want to know what\u0026nbsp;music\u0026nbsp;he\u0026nbsp;is listening to\u0026nbsp;or who is he texting regularly. I long for the day when I'll wake up and will not be bothered by thoughts of him. \u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eI am (finally) moving on gracefully\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/em\u003e. For months (years?) I've been yearning for inner peace and I believe that I am finally getting THERE. The only hindrance are missteps like this. Stupidity like this. \u003c/p\u003e \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eOh, yeah,\u0026nbsp;his \u003cem\u003e\"Yep, I am here.\" \u003c/em\u003eon his status message means something. It's meant for someone. Someone not me. Bygones.\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eWhew! What a day! I\u0026nbsp;am so bitter today. I need major distraction for THIS. I need to rise from this. I need to go out. I need to work. I need to\u0026nbsp;do something good for the human race to FORGET this incident. \u003c/p\u003e \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u0026nbsp;\u003c/p\u003e"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"https://www.abbiereal.net/feeds/4291703588671093267/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.abbiereal.net/2007/06/im-in-need-of-distraction-huge-one.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"https://www.blogger.com/feeds/6756132/posts/default/4291703588671093267"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"https://www.blogger.com/feeds/6756132/posts/default/4291703588671093267"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.abbiereal.net/2007/06/im-in-need-of-distraction-huge-one.html","title":"I'M IN NEED OF A DISTRACTION. A HUGE ONE."}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Abbie"},"uri":{"$t":"https://www.blogger.com/profile/14265494155672178468"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"//blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3ZlB3UUlhyXMQIaOi0DTXHREeL7tPKYtpZW-Cgma25DaIFEbiZkZ0D08RVrDzo_ROLV5ScywRCzPoxvWl-vj28vl2O-0rfZuHdTJurdaZeEmlLum-GUVmb2ouddpHRQ/s113/AbbieGorgeous.jpg"}}],"thr$total":{"$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6756132.post-8373270985711409268"},"published":{"$t":"2007-02-25T01:08:00.002+08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-02-25T04:49:56.912+08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Goodyear"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Drama"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Him"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Musings"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"ONE \u0026 TWO"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003cdiv align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eI both loved them. I both love them. \u003cem\u003eLove, loved, love, loved?\u003c/em\u003e Who knows if it is still present tense or now past tense? I am crummy with my grammar at times.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eI call them my \u003cstrong\u003eONE\u003c/strong\u003e and \u003cstrong\u003eTWO\u003c/strong\u003e. They are two of my lifetime's greatest blessings who showed me great happiness and made me realize how great my life can be.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eI met One two and a half years ago. We got together after a couple of months.\u003cbr /\u003eI met Two several years ago but only got together two years ago.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eOne is smart, gentle, has quiet demeanor, sweetness and humility.\u003cbr /\u003eTwo is strong, a leader, caring to a degree, forgiving, tolerant and assertive.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eOne is full of poetry, quotes and flowery words.\u003cbr /\u003eTwo is full of hard-hitting numbers, straightforward essays \u0026amp; articles and a PR mileage that would impress anyone.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eOne has the top score in the boards, the great friends and the Baguio vacation house.\u003cbr /\u003eTwo has the car, the cellphone and the laptop (with WiFi to boot).\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eOne used to call me Sweetie, Bie and Babe.\u003cbr /\u003eTwo used to call me Herbie and \"the royal blood\".\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eOne and I used to love movies, wines, spa \u0026amp; massages and fine dining.\u003cbr /\u003eTwo and I used to love tires, events, \u003cem\u003e\"Bayani Ng Kalsada\" \u003c/em\u003eand dealer conferences.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eOne used to be so fond of me. It texted me day in and day out.\u003cbr /\u003eTwo used to be so fond of me. It even paid for my parlor fees so I will look good in functions (voluntary at that!).\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eOne used to make me feel as the \"Prettiest Girl in the Planet\".\u003cbr /\u003eTwo used to make me feel as the \"Smartest Girl in the Planet\".\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eMy best month with One was December 2004.\u003cbr /\u003eMy best month with Two was December 2006.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eOne took me to Baguio, Anilao and Puerto Galera. All-expense paid including taxes.\u003cbr /\u003eTwo took me to Pampanga, Baguio and Naga. Don't forget the receipts though.\u003cbr /\u003e(Sadly...all I want is Boracay but it both slipped in their minds).\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eOne satisfies my emotions but Two stimulates my mind.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eThere were several occassions when I called both One and Two as \"THE ONE\".\u003cbr /\u003eI have my hesitations but God knows that I want them both to work.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eWhen One is concerned...it's the avoider.\u003cbr /\u003eWhen Two is concerned...I am the avoider.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eDid I ever blog about One and Two in the past?\u003cbr /\u003eYep. At great length.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eI often ask if I can ever have both One and Two both in my life or would it be just TOO much of a blessing for one person? \u003cem\u003eApparently...I am still not confident that I deserve ALL the good things in life.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003c/em\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eAt some point, I tried to have One and Two both in my life. I honestly cannot juggle them both at the same time. Both complained the lack of time.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eOne used to say that being with Two too much is just plain crazy. It said that there are more things in life than Two. Agree.\u003cbr /\u003eTwo used to say that being with One too much makes me unfocused. It said there are other important things than One. Agree.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eI fought for One until the very end. If it will give me another chance, I will fight for it even more. No questions asked.\u003cbr /\u003eI fought for Two until the very end. If it will give me another chance, I will fight for it but I might have to ask several questions since Two is very demanding.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eBoth One and Two thinks that I did not \"fight for them\" enough. Apparently, my \"flight club\" is different from theirs.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eOne was my inspiration to make Two work.\u003cbr /\u003eTwo was my welcome diversion when things did not work out with One.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eBoth offered me forever.\u003cbr /\u003eTwo even promised to double my savings after a certain time - making me rich for life.\u003cbr /\u003eBoth left me.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eCan I ever replace Two? Yep. But I dunno if I will love it as much.\u003cbr /\u003eCan I ever replace One? Let's just say that I really don't know and I am praying for answers.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eCan One ever come back? Would I be blogging if I know the answer?\u003cbr /\u003eCan Two ever come back? I don't know. It's not over until it's over, right?\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eWhen One left I turned to \"Grey's Anatomy\" for distraction.\u003cbr /\u003eWhen I had bad days with Two I turned to \"Grey's Anatomy\" for inspiration.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eWhen I was still hoping and praying for Two...One stood by me.\u003cbr /\u003eWhen One left... I have Two to take care of me.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eMy best bud John doesn't want to talk about One because it makes me depressed.\u003cbr /\u003eMy best bud John doesn't want to talk about Two becuase it also makes him depressed.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eWhen I told John about what happened with me and One....we talked about it for days so I can get it out of my system.\u003cbr /\u003eWhen I told John about what happened with me and Two...we avoided talking about it hoping it would creep out of our system.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eIs it NOW time to let go of two of my most precious blessings? Is it now time for a clean slate? Is there a THREE and FOUR waiting for me?\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eI have so many tragedies and dramas lately. I have so many unanswered questions and unanswered prayers. But losing Two after I lost One (albeit a year ago) is really the huge one. \u003cem\u003eI am not yet done with One and now...Two??? \u003c/em\u003eWhat is left of me? Can I ever survive this?\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eI honestly don't know.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eOne thing is sure though...I am now scared...I am very very very scared.\u003cbr /\u003eThis is truly the big one.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003cbr\u003e"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"https://www.abbiereal.net/feeds/8373270985711409268/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.abbiereal.net/2007/02/one-two-i-both-loved-them.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"https://www.blogger.com/feeds/6756132/posts/default/8373270985711409268"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"https://www.blogger.com/feeds/6756132/posts/default/8373270985711409268"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.abbiereal.net/2007/02/one-two-i-both-loved-them.html","title":"ONE \u0026 TWO"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Abbie"},"uri":{"$t":"https://www.blogger.com/profile/14265494155672178468"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"//blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3ZlB3UUlhyXMQIaOi0DTXHREeL7tPKYtpZW-Cgma25DaIFEbiZkZ0D08RVrDzo_ROLV5ScywRCzPoxvWl-vj28vl2O-0rfZuHdTJurdaZeEmlLum-GUVmb2ouddpHRQ/s113/AbbieGorgeous.jpg"}}],"thr$total":{"$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6756132.post-116278960591250841"},"published":{"$t":"2006-11-06T23:41:00.001+08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-02-25T04:52:26.301+08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Abbie"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Rants"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Drama"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Him"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Musings"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"DRUNKEN MIDNIGHT CALLS"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003cdiv align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eI was doing my expense report for last week when my phone unexpectedly came to life at 12:37 am on a Saturday (Sunday midnight to be exact). I glanced at the caller ID and took a moment to think whether I will screen or answer. After a moment of hesitation, I picked up and decided that it's still better than filing my reimbursements.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHim: \u003c/strong\u003eHi, Abbie! How are you?\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMe: \u003c/strong\u003eHello?? What did you say?\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHim: \u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/strong\u003eI said how are you?\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMe: \u003c/strong\u003eWow! How formal. I am fine, doing some work.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHim: \u003c/strong\u003eSo, how's everything?\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMe: \u003c/strong\u003eOkay lang naman. Busy as usual.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHim: \u003c/strong\u003eWell, you're always busy. No time for everything\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMe: \u003c/strong\u003eYeah, that's life.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHim: \u003c/strong\u003eHow's ______ (insert name of my ex)?\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMe: \u003c/strong\u003eI don't know. Fine, I guess.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHim: \u003c/strong\u003eI am here in Cavite right now with _____, _____, and _____. (insert names of our officemates).\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMe: \u003c/strong\u003eReally? Sana lumabas na lang din ako.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHim: \u003c/strong\u003eYeah, you should have. I am so drunk!!!\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMe: \u003c/strong\u003eYou guys better go home already if that's the case.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHim: \u003c/strong\u003eWe are all wasted. Of course si ________ (insert name of officemate who's dear to me) kanina pa knock-out, sobrang wasted.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMe: \u003c/strong\u003eTalaga? So that's why. I texted him some work stuff and he did not answer.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHim: \u003c/strong\u003eOo 'no. For sure he will not text you because ________ (insert name of former girl officemate) is here. Okay nga sila eh. Seem to be doing well together.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMe: \u003c/strong\u003eHmmm. Okay.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHim: \u003c/strong\u003eGrabe, Abs. I called because I need to tell you something. I am so drunk but I miss you so much. I truly miss you. I miss you so much.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMe: \u003c/strong\u003eHay naku. You better hang-up and go home.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHim: \u003c/strong\u003eReally. I miss you so much! I love you, Abs. People kept on telling me to stop loving you but I cannot. Kahit abnormal ka I still love you. I don't care what they say.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMe: \u003c/strong\u003eYeah, abnormal ako kaya let's put the phone down. Let's talk tomorrow.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHim: \u003c/strong\u003eNo. I miss you talaga. You know your ex? He's BS! He did not give you time.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMe: \u003c/strong\u003eOoohhh, let's not get into that.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHim: \u003c/strong\u003eSame way that you're not giving me time.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMe: \u003c/strong\u003eHay naku!\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHim: \u003c/strong\u003eAnd si ______ (insert name of officemate who's dear to me)...forget about him! He still has hang-ups on his ex. Plus there's _____ (name of former girl officemate).\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMe: \u003c/strong\u003eYeah, yeah. Bye na!\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHim: \u003c/strong\u003eAbs, so many people love you but you don't give them time. You don't give them chances and you ignore them.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eThen the line got cut. Whatever.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eWhew! Drunken midnight calls...tsk, tsk, tsk. I cannot for the life of me explain how I feel about the call. Flattered? Yeah, in a very weird and tiny way. Disgusted? Yeah, definitely. Telling me emo stuff while drunk is one thing but bashing my ex is definitely out of line. Play fair, damnit!\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eI conversed with four guy friends on loving a woman this week. They have different stories but they've all been experiencing hurts caused by a love for a woman. It's worth blogging about. Think of it as a delayed blog Halloween special. Hehe!\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGuy A \u003c/strong\u003emet an extraordinary girl that he considered as 'the one' but decided to leave and let her go because of some major disappointments on her personality that are non-negotiables. Guy A is still hurting and reminiscing despite the many months that have gone by. He's trying to date but still couldn't forget the girl. I thought everything is already well until he confessed in one of our coffee sessions that the girl truly broke and damaged him. That's when I realized that he's still not over her. He's trying to drown himself with work but vowed to give time to a new hobby just to cope and forget. He said that Christmas this year is useless unless there are big bonuses on the way. Who I am to this guy? His old friend who became an unexpected confidante who's fast becoming his best gal pal.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGuy B \u003c/strong\u003eis a serial dater who unexpectedly fell in love without meaning to. However, he sensed that the girl is taking him for a ride and dared her to cool down things. She unexpectedly took the bait and agreed to it. Guy B is now distraught and unbelievably hurt. He doesn't want to talk about it but his late hours SMS became annoying so I decided to give him my precious time and listen intently while I compute for our calendar earnings this year. He decided to let her go but on a vengeful way. His grand plan is to stay with her until she falls then leave her. I told her that he would not succeed (despite his past love-her-leave-her reputation) since he is now too emotionally attached to her. He's busy on his business that might make him a tycoon just to cope and forget. Christmas this year is surely mellow for him despite the mega-bucks that he's earning both from his income and business. Who I am to this guy? His only best girl friend. Ever.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGuy C \u003c/strong\u003edoesn't usually give himself because of some unforgotten hurt from years back. The girl she fell in love with has 'wrong timing' written all over her. Unfortunately, everything in this world is timing and the confusing world where the girl resides in has wrong timing all around it. She wants him on her life but so is the next guy. She doesn't want him out of her life but there is no clear indication that she wants him on it either. Guy C decided to say goodbye and let her go just to save himself for more hurts. Unfortunately, goodbyes are always long processes from him. Everyday is a struggle within. He's a survivor but he also got issues on flying and falling. His unexpected phone calls are always welcome despite our colorful past and my uber-busy schedule. He got great dreams for himself, which he's planning and pushing for just to escape, cope and forget. Christmas this year is a deadline - better pull himself together before Silver Bells and Jingle Bell Rock dominate the airwaves. Or else \u003cem\u003e\"Pasko Na, Sinta Ko\"\u003c/em\u003e will be the official theme of the Yuletide. Who I am to this guy? His heaven-sent band-aid.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGuy D \u003c/strong\u003eloves someone in a very weird but passionate way. The girl doesn't give her any time but seemed have time for everybody and anything but him. She's brokenhearted and still healing from a relationship that has gone sour. She's a hard shell to break and needs to be swept to fall. He decided to let her go and start anew. He even broke his engagement with his fiancee to start a new beginning, forget the other girl, and find someone else. Guy C is so persistent that he even succumbs to name-calling and blackballing the ex and other guys being paired to the girl. He became so annoying that I don't want to talk to him and hear about his inconsistencies. Christmas this year will be an expensive one - according to him - he likes to brag and brag and brag. Who I am to this guy? See above drunken phone call conversation. I am me and he is him.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eOh, women...what have you done to these fine men? I used to think that men, in general, are the scums of the universe. I hate them and the way they make women fall without intending to catch them. But I realize that women are even worse. Women are supposed to be nice, loving, caring and forgiving. What happened? Guys A, B and C are my dear friends who doesn't deserve such treatment from the bitches they fell in love with. From someone who've been badly hurt and trampled on, I empathize with them - even if they are whiny and bordering annoying at times (kidding!). It's so easy to hate men who broke our hearts but it's so disheartening to hate women who act like unforgiving men - especially if I am turning into one of those bitches (take note: \"turning\" is the operative word). That's the bad thing about double standards. Men who break hearts are easily forgiven but women who do are scorned and looked down upon. What the heck happened to sugar and spice and everything nice? I hate women! I hate women who break my friends' hearts! I even hate myself for not making one's heart whole!\u003cbr /\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003cbr\u003e"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"https://www.abbiereal.net/feeds/116278960591250841/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.abbiereal.net/2006/11/drunken-midnight-calls-i-was-doing-my.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"https://www.blogger.com/feeds/6756132/posts/default/116278960591250841"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"https://www.blogger.com/feeds/6756132/posts/default/116278960591250841"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.abbiereal.net/2006/11/drunken-midnight-calls-i-was-doing-my.html","title":"DRUNKEN MIDNIGHT CALLS"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Abbie"},"uri":{"$t":"https://www.blogger.com/profile/14265494155672178468"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"//blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3ZlB3UUlhyXMQIaOi0DTXHREeL7tPKYtpZW-Cgma25DaIFEbiZkZ0D08RVrDzo_ROLV5ScywRCzPoxvWl-vj28vl2O-0rfZuHdTJurdaZeEmlLum-GUVmb2ouddpHRQ/s113/AbbieGorgeous.jpg"}}],"thr$total":{"$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6756132.post-116221208241296820"},"published":{"$t":"2006-10-30T20:36:00.002+08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2008-02-25T04:53:42.937+08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Abbie"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Drama"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Weddings"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Him"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Musings"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"WEDDING DAY"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003cdiv align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eThe most unecessary things in my bookshelves are the stack of bridal magazines which I regularly buy ever since I can remember; two girlfriends told me last month that I better tie the knot soon so they can look forward to some serious dressing up; event suppliers who became friends are already orchestrating my walk-down-the aisle in cinematic and fog-like fashion;  and I know fully well that I can 100% pull-off a fabulous, envy-worthy, elegant wedding that my groom, parents, and in-laws will be so damn proud of - gantt charts, timetables and all.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eOh, \"my wedding\". Sounds funny. It's even weird to blog about this NOW. You see, I USED to be so crazy about the whole wedding and marriage hoopla (with or without a man). I used to fantasize my wedding day like the next regular girl. I used to be in so much hurry to wear the white. I had this whole dream-like bridezilla trance in my head. I even had a planned month (December when the weather is cool and people are generally in  high spirits), venue and set-up (garden with pristine white tents and elegant lights \u0026 fireworks ala 'Best Friend's Wedding/Joe Black' style), first dance (tango or swing), theme and motif (fresh morning colors - orange, pink, light purple, yellow, champagne), music (quartet for the ceremonies and some Lisa Ono for the reception dinner), hair \u0026 make-up (low bun and natural pink colors by Denise Go), wedding guests (no family friends or relatives whom we haven't seen for 20 years!) and food (sumtuous sit-down dinner with endless cocktails and drinks). \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eBack to reality. Wake up. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eWedding and I? Not going to happen soon. I thought I had it. I thought marriage was within my grasp  but things suddenly did not work out. It fizzled. It died. I used to think that the last one was another mistake. It was actually not. Friends tell me that it was another bad episode and mistake in my life. But he was not a mistake. I know it was right. He was the right one BUT things just did not work-out for the two of us. Sad but that is the reality. Anyway, I believe that I am now moving on and accepting things gracefully. Yeah, there are still occasional lapses and bitter periods every now and then but none that is alarming and earth-shaking. My friends, family, co-workers and yeah...occasional night-outs with guy friends - which people might even classify as dates...are helping me see the \"real hope\" in things. Well, that's life.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eHeartbreak and love changed me in a very mature and unexpected way. It overwhelmed me when it first hit me but the carnage and damages it brought was the one that really shook and moved me. It taught me how to be patient, strong, self-less and it gave me the courage not to settle. Sometimes great rewards are given to those who wait and pray patiently. I am not exactly jumping for joy but I can honestly say that there are happiness in \"my now\". I am taking each new day at a time. I have not given up on love despite the buldozer of hurt, hatred and sadness it had given me but it definitely gave me renewed and higher standards. A friend once asked what the heck I am waiting for despite some obvious options and choices. I gave this answer: \u003cem\u003e\"I have to be swept. Anything less than that is unacceptable.\" \u003c/em\u003eI will wait for that moment. I am not in a hurry. The white veil can definitelty wait for God's Ultimate Best. Even if it will take some \u003cem\u003emore\u003c/em\u003e time.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eSo...marriage and my dream wedding day? Until he comes - whoever he will be. If he doesn't? Well...being single is actually not \u003cstrong\u003eSO\u003c/strong\u003e bad.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003cbr\u003e"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"https://www.abbiereal.net/feeds/116221208241296820/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.abbiereal.net/2006/10/wedding-day-most-unecessary-things-in_30.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"https://www.blogger.com/feeds/6756132/posts/default/116221208241296820"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"https://www.blogger.com/feeds/6756132/posts/default/116221208241296820"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.abbiereal.net/2006/10/wedding-day-most-unecessary-things-in_30.html","title":"WEDDING DAY"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Abbie"},"uri":{"$t":"https://www.blogger.com/profile/14265494155672178468"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"32","height":"32","src":"//blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3ZlB3UUlhyXMQIaOi0DTXHREeL7tPKYtpZW-Cgma25DaIFEbiZkZ0D08RVrDzo_ROLV5ScywRCzPoxvWl-vj28vl2O-0rfZuHdTJurdaZeEmlLum-GUVmb2ouddpHRQ/s113/AbbieGorgeous.jpg"}}],"thr$total":{"$t":"0"}}]}});