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"},"uri":{"$t":"https://www.blogger.com/profile/09410637408830790715"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"24","height":"32","src":"//blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinw98N1LY4v8SvYbQE7_w8QZkoJjgkTZuMxaLciiTGhqEIOsYZtOXCNr7YQTC05lz_vPv4_jABDfn8oJ2giVQ_04s9i77G94gU9ZaprRtLepq-xmeSbo8krD2DNsPoZT0/s113/ACS_0224.JPG"}}],"generator":{"version":"7.00","uri":"https://www.blogger.com","$t":"Blogger"},"openSearch$totalResults":{"$t":"8"},"openSearch$startIndex":{"$t":"1"},"openSearch$itemsPerPage":{"$t":"5"},"entry":[{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-400672302414468518.post-5490048336259090753"},"published":{"$t":"2021-08-02T06:00:00.068-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2022-10-26T12:49:50.334-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Mama and Mini"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Self Love"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"z"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"On The Real"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"A Better Me Because Of You"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003cp\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cdiv class\u003d\"separator\" style\u003d\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-l4IMWGPRsKk/YQLnDtq794I/AAAAAAAAKyg/BluOcg0iTUMYc6j8BXaCiLJaZEm_AQgXwCNcBGAsYHQ/s2048/ACS_0410.JPG\" style\u003d\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003e\u003cimg border\u003d\"0\" data-original-height\u003d\"1365\" data-original-width\u003d\"2048\" src\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-l4IMWGPRsKk/YQLnDtq794I/AAAAAAAAKyg/BluOcg0iTUMYc6j8BXaCiLJaZEm_AQgXwCNcBGAsYHQ/s16000/ACS_0410.JPG\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u0026nbsp;I always thought that once I would get pregnant I would become obsessed with the weight that I'd put on during pregnancy. In the beginning, I was a little fixated on it especially since the pandemic hit right at the beginning of my first trimester and the level of fatigue I was experiencing was like nothing I've ever experienced before. That meant I was in bed sleeping 99% of the time and like many, I did put on a couple of extra lbs. During my pregnancy I actually ended up losing weight because of the diet I was on due to gestational diabetes which was a blessing in disguise. I was really lucky that within 1-2 weeks postpartum I lost all the pregnancy weight, and I'm not saying any of this to make any mama feel down on themselves. What I am trying to say is even though I lost all of that weight my body was different than before I was pregnant.\u003cp\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBefore continuing this post I wanted to remind you guys if you haven't been following my \u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.ohhjuliana.com/search/label/Fertility?max-results\u003d12\" target\u003d\"_blank\"\u003ejourney to motherhood\u003c/a\u003e then you didn't know that prior to conceiving I had gone through fertility treatments. Two rounds of IUI, one full round of IVF that included stimming the ovaries, egg retrieval, and a fresh embryo transfer. A second-round IVF in which we did a frozen embryo transfer. All of these treatments included tons of hormone medications that I had to constantly put into my body. From all of this, my body changed. So, not only did my body change from pills and countless injections it also changed in pregnancy.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBeing nearly 10 months postpartum my body doesn't look how it once did and I'm ok with that. My body did magic. My body grew, carried, nourished, and delivered a human being! It did something I thought it was never capable of doing. I want to show Lucy that I am proud of my body and my skin no matter how it looks like. I am the number one woman she has and will look up to, I am her role model. I want her to feel confident and love herself for who she is because I can't even find the words to describe how much I love her. She is and will forever be perfect in my eyes I want her to see that and also believe it.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI ordered a few undergarments from the company ARQ and I love what they stand for and how they advertise their pieces with women that range from all shapes and sizes. I went ahead and splurged on myself and I had to pick up a matching set for Lucy. Lucy and I did a small photoshoot in our pieces and I will cherish these sweet photos for a lifetime.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cdiv class\u003d\"separator\" style\u003d\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4fKvDz8BKhs/YQNara2jezI/AAAAAAAAKys/-be_Wfq3QpIdV3eBb6Qaoq2OnRAinslcgCNcBGAsYHQ/s2048/ACS_0409.JPG\" imageanchor\u003d\"1\" style\u003d\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003e\u003cimg border\u003d\"0\" data-original-height\u003d\"1365\" data-original-width\u003d\"2048\" src\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4fKvDz8BKhs/YQNara2jezI/AAAAAAAAKys/-be_Wfq3QpIdV3eBb6Qaoq2OnRAinslcgCNcBGAsYHQ/s16000/ACS_0409.JPG\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003cdiv class\u003d\"separator\" style\u003d\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-aeN4WntTQek/YQNar_NReGI/AAAAAAAAKyw/va_g4RjPOroAZ0Yd6cd6UO_OHq08rrKYQCNcBGAsYHQ/s2048/ACS_0411.JPG\" imageanchor\u003d\"1\" style\u003d\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003e\u003cimg border\u003d\"0\" data-original-height\u003d\"1365\" data-original-width\u003d\"2048\" src\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-aeN4WntTQek/YQNar_NReGI/AAAAAAAAKyw/va_g4RjPOroAZ0Yd6cd6UO_OHq08rrKYQCNcBGAsYHQ/s16000/ACS_0411.JPG\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003cdiv class\u003d\"separator\" style\u003d\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RKpzktR6Cx8/YQNarT5aeEI/AAAAAAAAKyo/FuPPLleMwi8d_tK8xZQCzYwS_WKlpyJZgCNcBGAsYHQ/s2048/ACS_0412.JPG\" imageanchor\u003d\"1\" style\u003d\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003e\u003cimg border\u003d\"0\" data-original-height\u003d\"2048\" data-original-width\u003d\"1365\" src\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RKpzktR6Cx8/YQNarT5aeEI/AAAAAAAAKyo/FuPPLleMwi8d_tK8xZQCzYwS_WKlpyJZgCNcBGAsYHQ/s16000/ACS_0412.JPG\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003cdiv class\u003d\"separator\" style\u003d\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Z35ARD4IB1Q/YQNaxSQaIpI/AAAAAAAAKy0/UxdLE8--WiI3VrJefp7JXL-MAEFyHEKSwCNcBGAsYHQ/s2048/ACS_0413.JPG\" imageanchor\u003d\"1\" style\u003d\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003e\u003cimg border\u003d\"0\" data-original-height\u003d\"2048\" data-original-width\u003d\"1365\" src\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Z35ARD4IB1Q/YQNaxSQaIpI/AAAAAAAAKy0/UxdLE8--WiI3VrJefp7JXL-MAEFyHEKSwCNcBGAsYHQ/s16000/ACS_0413.JPG\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003cdiv class\u003d\"separator\" style\u003d\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-F7n8vYm0WCE/YQNay0aLOMI/AAAAAAAAKy4/FB8w3gAZKBMx2R2e4-1qR-erztcieFcsACNcBGAsYHQ/s2048/ACS_0414.JPG\" imageanchor\u003d\"1\" style\u003d\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003e\u003cimg border\u003d\"0\" data-original-height\u003d\"1365\" data-original-width\u003d\"2048\" src\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-F7n8vYm0WCE/YQNay0aLOMI/AAAAAAAAKy4/FB8w3gAZKBMx2R2e4-1qR-erztcieFcsACNcBGAsYHQ/s16000/ACS_0414.JPG\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003cdiv class\u003d\"separator\" style\u003d\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-72w4FZPIj4c/YQNaz0zi3kI/AAAAAAAAKy8/jP9E1ngsXYQEkZ4bF0PlczuHoLGtUjsJACNcBGAsYHQ/s2048/ACS_0415.JPG\" imageanchor\u003d\"1\" style\u003d\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003e\u003cimg border\u003d\"0\" data-original-height\u003d\"1365\" data-original-width\u003d\"2048\" src\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-72w4FZPIj4c/YQNaz0zi3kI/AAAAAAAAKy8/jP9E1ngsXYQEkZ4bF0PlczuHoLGtUjsJACNcBGAsYHQ/s16000/ACS_0415.JPG\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003cdiv class\u003d\"separator\" style\u003d\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1WW_tmY9ER4/YQNa5fzf7-I/AAAAAAAAKzA/PuAdRfT3wN0-6IVzt5nBpp7f0Ws8ePLJgCNcBGAsYHQ/s2048/ACS_0416.JPG\" imageanchor\u003d\"1\" style\u003d\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003e\u003cimg border\u003d\"0\" data-original-height\u003d\"1365\" data-original-width\u003d\"2048\" src\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1WW_tmY9ER4/YQNa5fzf7-I/AAAAAAAAKzA/PuAdRfT3wN0-6IVzt5nBpp7f0Ws8ePLJgCNcBGAsYHQ/s16000/ACS_0416.JPG\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003cdiv class\u003d\"separator\" style\u003d\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MBmMIOxOrTk/YQNa6a8wJfI/AAAAAAAAKzE/h5O0nGafnW8fIq1ts9PROzjx8fv3NadvgCNcBGAsYHQ/s2048/ACS_0417.JPG\" imageanchor\u003d\"1\" style\u003d\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003e\u003cimg border\u003d\"0\" data-original-height\u003d\"2048\" data-original-width\u003d\"1365\" src\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MBmMIOxOrTk/YQNa6a8wJfI/AAAAAAAAKzE/h5O0nGafnW8fIq1ts9PROzjx8fv3NadvgCNcBGAsYHQ/s16000/ACS_0417.JPG\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003cdiv class\u003d\"separator\" style\u003d\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2y53csK18ss/YQNa7ctGR5I/AAAAAAAAKzI/buhRMRjEnDQmPSguzbnW7LBaPHs93Pn7QCNcBGAsYHQ/s2048/ACS_0418.JPG\" imageanchor\u003d\"1\" style\u003d\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003e\u003cimg border\u003d\"0\" data-original-height\u003d\"1365\" data-original-width\u003d\"2048\" src\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2y53csK18ss/YQNa7ctGR5I/AAAAAAAAKzI/buhRMRjEnDQmPSguzbnW7LBaPHs93Pn7QCNcBGAsYHQ/s16000/ACS_0418.JPG\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003cdiv class\u003d\"separator\" style\u003d\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003cdiv class\u003d\"separator\" style\u003d\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rXiEdEdTbkE/YQNc6UYRa1I/AAAAAAAAKzg/zSDJ-cVUiGcylsHNcR5gas13TZPieem-QCNcBGAsYHQ/s185/newSign.png\" imageanchor\u003d\"1\" style\u003d\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003e\u003cimg border\u003d\"0\" data-original-height\u003d\"91\" data-original-width\u003d\"185\" src\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rXiEdEdTbkE/YQNc6UYRa1I/AAAAAAAAKzg/zSDJ-cVUiGcylsHNcR5gas13TZPieem-QCNcBGAsYHQ/s0/newSign.png\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/div\u003e"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"https://www.ohhjuliana.com/feeds/5490048336259090753/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.ohhjuliana.com/2021/08/a-better-me-because-of-you.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"https://www.blogger.com/feeds/400672302414468518/posts/default/5490048336259090753"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"https://www.blogger.com/feeds/400672302414468518/posts/default/5490048336259090753"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.ohhjuliana.com/2021/08/a-better-me-because-of-you.html","title":"A Better Me Because Of You"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Juliana "},"uri":{"$t":"https://www.blogger.com/profile/09410637408830790715"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"24","height":"32","src":"//blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinw98N1LY4v8SvYbQE7_w8QZkoJjgkTZuMxaLciiTGhqEIOsYZtOXCNr7YQTC05lz_vPv4_jABDfn8oJ2giVQ_04s9i77G94gU9ZaprRtLepq-xmeSbo8krD2DNsPoZT0/s113/ACS_0224.JPG"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-l4IMWGPRsKk/YQLnDtq794I/AAAAAAAAKyg/BluOcg0iTUMYc6j8BXaCiLJaZEm_AQgXwCNcBGAsYHQ/s72-c/ACS_0410.JPG","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-400672302414468518.post-4252678224123674757"},"published":{"$t":"2020-11-23T05:00:00.234-08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2021-10-08T10:22:53.254-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Birth Story"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"On The Real"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Lucy's Birth Story"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003cdiv class\u003d\"separator\" style\u003d\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-B_HzOKFrnMI/X7V7ik3FY8I/AAAAAAAAKN4/vuJZgc_hFX0qJAn-1C68NfNUswpOZ0acQCNcBGAsYHQ/s2048/IMG_3898.heic\" style\u003d\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003e\u003cimg border\u003d\"0\" data-original-height\u003d\"1536\" data-original-width\u003d\"2048\" src\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-B_HzOKFrnMI/X7V7ik3FY8I/AAAAAAAAKN4/vuJZgc_hFX0qJAn-1C68NfNUswpOZ0acQCNcBGAsYHQ/s16000/IMG_3898.heic\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt has been over a month since Lucy entered the world. A whole month since I became a mom, wow! I always said and hoped Lucy would make her debut early, but I never anticipated her coming when she did. Regardless of timing Rudy and I both feel that she arrived just in time, however, I do wish she would have given me a bit of a heads up so that way I could have had all my affairs in order. Washed my hair, styled it, get my nails and toes done, wash and change my bedsheets, tidy up the room a bit more, etc haha. At the end of the day, none of that even mattered all that I cared about was finally having my baby in my arms after years of waiting and praying for this moment. I had really good and easy labor which was all I ever hoped for. I was inactive labor for less than 24 hours, pushed for less than an hour, and Lucy and I were both safe and healthy. It's taken me a lot longer than I wanted to type up this post but I'm so happy to finally share the story of Lucy's birth.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThursday, October 8, 2020\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI had been feeling Braxton Hicks contractions off and on since thirty-one weeks pregnant. On Thursday I had my thirty-six weeks prenatal appointment, and a few days prior the BH had been way more intense. They felt very much like period cramps, some were stronger than others. With this being my first pregnancy, I wasn't sure if they were still Broxton Hicks or if they were the beginning stage of the contractions. They would come and go but weren't consistent at all. I kept telling Rudy \"I hope my doctor checks my cervix for dilation because these BH have been so intense I hope something is going on down there\".\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDuring my checkup, I had mentioned to my doctor that I had been having a lot of cramping for the last couple of days. I had my Strep B test done and while she was down there she went ahead and checked if I was dilating. She told me that the baby's head was down, I was already 1cm dilated, and the baby's head was at station -1. I was so excited when she told me all of this. I was only thirty-six weeks and was already making progress so I was left hoping that the baby would possibly come early. Since I had high blood pressure my doctor wanted to induce me at thirty-eight weeks, so during that appointment, we scheduled my induction date for October 22. For some reason, I didn't think I was going to make it until then.\u0026nbsp;\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAs the day went by I was lightly spotting as my doctor mentioned I would due to the exam, and I noticed I was having a lot of discharge. I knew it was all due to the exam, however, as time went on I was noticing a lot of discharge and it wasn't until a couple of days later maybe Saturday or even Sunday, I began questioning if it could be my mucus plug. I had no idea what a mucus plug looked like so Rudy looked up photos on Google and it was identical to the photos he found.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe days leading up until Sunday I continued to feel a lot of cramping off and on. Again, they weren't consistent. There were no patterns so I wasn't sure if they were contractions or not. They were identical to period cramps and some were more painful than others nothing I couldn't handle.\u0026nbsp;\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSunday, October 11, 2020\u0026nbsp;\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt was a day like any other, Rudy was at work and I was doing my typical chores around the house to keep me busy. Just before noon, I headed out to hang out with a cousin of mine for a few hours, and I don't remember feeling any different. I don't remember even feeling much cramping that morning at all.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhile at my cousin's house, I wasn't even at her place for two hours. As we were sitting at the kitchen table catching up I felt a gush followed by a very warm sensation. Immediately I asked myself if my water had just broken so I got up and went to check myself in the bathroom. I knew I couldn't have peed myself since I had no sensation of needing to pee. As I got to the bathroom to check it was clear liquid and I knew it has to be my water breaking or at least starting to leak. I always thought when your water breaks it would look a lot like what you see on tv but clearly, that's not the case. It was a big enough gush that soaked through my panty liner, underwear, and leggings. Once I cleaned myself up I let my cousin know what was going on so I had to go home and call Labor and Delivery along with letting Rudy know what was going on.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOnce I got home I immediately called L\u0026amp;D. I let them know exactly what had happened and that I thought I was losing or lost my mucus plug. The nurse asked me to put on a clean pad and walk around for an hour to see if I continued to leak. As time passed, I waited a total of two hours before calling L\u0026amp;D again. I hadn't felt any gush of water like I did earlier but my pad was a bit damp. I wasn't sure if it was from me still leaking or maybe it was sweat since it was a hot day and I was a bit sweaty from the nerves haha. The second nurse I spoke to told me it sounded like my water did break and for me to go in to get checked out. She told me to bring all my stuff to the hospital, to leave it in the car because she had a feeling I'd be getting admitted, and if so Rudy could just go to the car and grab all our stuff.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cdiv class\u003d\"separator\" style\u003d\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-i5ybkjsavPc/X-eo56nXHvI/AAAAAAAAKQc/d1Sz8FHSw7gDSzdlL1D78aQC3MOIwXhzACNcBGAsYHQ/s2048/IMG_6019.HEIC\" style\u003d\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003e\u003cimg border\u003d\"0\" data-original-height\u003d\"1536\" data-original-width\u003d\"2048\" src\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-i5ybkjsavPc/X-eo56nXHvI/AAAAAAAAKQc/d1Sz8FHSw7gDSzdlL1D78aQC3MOIwXhzACNcBGAsYHQ/s16000/IMG_6019.HEIC\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003cp\u003eWe arrived at the hospital and as we were about to walk into the hospital doors I felt another gush. By this point, I knew my water was definitely breaking. As we got to L\u0026amp;D we were put into a room before 5 pm so that the doctor could check if I was indeed leaking amniotic fluids. Turns out I was so then I was asked If I wanted to go ahead get admitted, basically get induced. I said yes which meant they would get me started on Pitocin. I was then put into my labor and delivery room just after 5 pm. The nurse started my Pitocin and the doctor on duty let me know they wouldn't check me for dilation until I was experiencing unbearable pain that I needed the epidural. Since my water broke they wanted to avoid checking my cervix to prevent infection. Things were going pretty smoothly at this point I was feeling some cramping here and there. My nurse even asked me a couple of times if I was feeling my contractions, I wasn't, because apparently, I was having some strong ones.\u0026nbsp;\u003c/p\u003e\u003cdiv class\u003d\"separator\" style\u003d\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2gwZE4flnvY/X7iZiv6h9ZI/AAAAAAAAKOI/1xTAsbgxClE5H9Y0AIhTCB0snogV_U0hQCNcBGAsYHQ/s2048/IMG_5036.JPG\" style\u003d\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003e\u003cimg border\u003d\"0\" data-original-height\u003d\"1536\" data-original-width\u003d\"2048\" src\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2gwZE4flnvY/X7iZiv6h9ZI/AAAAAAAAKOI/1xTAsbgxClE5H9Y0AIhTCB0snogV_U0hQCNcBGAsYHQ/s16000/IMG_5036.JPG\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003cp\u003eSince the baby most likely wasn't going to arrive by tonight Rudy and I decided it was time for us to try and get some sleep. By 11 pm I was feeling a lot of pain I almost wanted to cry. I told my nurse I was in a lot of pain and I was considering the epidural. She asked me if I wanted to get a different medication called fentanyl that would be given to me through the IV and it should relax me enough to get some sleep. I decided to go ahead and try that before getting the epidural.\u0026nbsp;\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMonday, October 12, 2020\u003c/p\u003e\u003cdiv class\u003d\"separator\" style\u003d\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4UJ9ydr1YYQ/X7iaF4dr_2I/AAAAAAAAKOQ/jdIaPJ4kbJwgMmpqD0l0sC89zN06PYVswCNcBGAsYHQ/s2048/IMG_5038.JPG\" style\u003d\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003e\u003cimg border\u003d\"0\" data-original-height\u003d\"1536\" data-original-width\u003d\"2048\" src\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4UJ9ydr1YYQ/X7iaF4dr_2I/AAAAAAAAKOQ/jdIaPJ4kbJwgMmpqD0l0sC89zN06PYVswCNcBGAsYHQ/s16000/IMG_5038.JPG\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe fentanyl only lasted an hour, I barely was able to relax with nurses coming in and out then changing shifts and introducing themselves to me. By midnight I was waiting to get my epidural. I was in so much more pain by this point my contractions were coming in every 2-3 minutes. It felt like the anesthesiologist was taking forever to finally arrive with my drugs. I was never scared about getting the epidural, I've heard women say that they didn't even feel the epidural needle go in because the contractions were so painful. Well, I felt the needle. The entire duration of getting my epidural was tough. It hurt, it felt weird, lots of pressure, and it couldn't be done quick enough. Finally, once it was all over and done with I felt such relief. I'll tell everyone they need to get the epidural, it's godsent! The numbing kept wearing off on my left side though. Whenever this would happen the nurses would have me lay on my left side because the way they explained the epidural to me was like this, it works like gravity so if I was starting to feel pain on my left side I have to lay on my left side. Now that I was feeling way better and not in any more pain it was time to rest as much as we could.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAlmost 4 am and I finally had my cervix checked, I was at 5cm. I was ecstatic and hoped I would continue to progress and quickly. Every chance I got I tried to get as much rest as I possibly could especially with having the epidural.\u0026nbsp;\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAs the hours passed the nurses continued to up my Pitocin doses and just before 7 am the doctor came in to recheck me and at this point, I was still at 5cm. I was so discouraged I was really hoping I'd be at least 7cm or to have had some kind of progress. Since I was still the same as the previous check my amazing nurse suggested I use a peanut ball. It's basically a yoga ball that's shaped just like a peanut and you lay on your side with it in between your legs. She swore it would help me progress, so I agreed to try it out until my next cervix check which would be in two hours.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cdiv class\u003d\"separator\" style\u003d\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Bo3ka6IriYk/X7iaQp3LLAI/AAAAAAAAKOU/7ZAe9E5wVUw_A3PB401cVlDx-FYp4TR6gCNcBGAsYHQ/s2048/IMG_5035.JPG\" style\u003d\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003e\u003cimg border\u003d\"0\" data-original-height\u003d\"2048\" data-original-width\u003d\"1536\" src\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Bo3ka6IriYk/X7iaQp3LLAI/AAAAAAAAKOU/7ZAe9E5wVUw_A3PB401cVlDx-FYp4TR6gCNcBGAsYHQ/s16000/IMG_5035.JPG\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003cp\u003eAbout two hours later around 8:30 am the doctors checked on me and I was 7cm! I was hoping this meant baby would be here within two hours at the latest haha. I was so excited to meet her, still not the slightest bit nervous. After this Rudy and I hung out for a few hours until I got checked again. We even got to enjoy a popsicle in the meantime while I called some friends and family members to give them some updates.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOne thing I failed to mention earlier is that I was shaking a bit. I heard of this happening to women due to the epidural but I remember I started getting the shakes off and on before getting the epidural. My nurse said it was normal with being as far into labor as I was. This came and went throughout labor. Finally at 11:30 am it was time for another check and I was already at 9 1/2cm this was so exciting because we were getting close!\u0026nbsp;\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe next time I got checked I was still 9 1/2cm. Apparently, a piece of my cervix wasn't dissolving \"softening\" so it wasn't allowing me to get to 10cm which also wasn't allowing the baby to pass through. The doctors then did an ultrasound and discovered that she was head down but instead of having the top of her head facing down towards my cervix it was her ear. So her head was kind of sideways and the doctors were going to have to turn her. I was so scared this was going to be extremely painful, thankfully it wasn't and she was able to turn the baby quickly. Now that the baby was turned to the correct position they had me lay on my right side for a bit to keep the baby in that position.\u0026nbsp;\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-IjcFRnEOA58/X7ieSMvw59I/AAAAAAAAKOs/0trBsLI-Ee8lNqNJR-LSmRHYaOHTCReiQCNcBGAsYHQ/s2048/IMG_5039.JPG\" style\u003d\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cimg border\u003d\"0\" data-original-height\u003d\"1536\" data-original-width\u003d\"2048\" src\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-IjcFRnEOA58/X7ieSMvw59I/AAAAAAAAKOs/0trBsLI-Ee8lNqNJR-LSmRHYaOHTCReiQCNcBGAsYHQ/s16000/IMG_5039.JPG\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA while after laying on my right side, the nurse had me get on my knees on the bed and stay in that position for as long as I could. She assured me this was going to help get the rest of my cervix to soften. This totally worked but I was feeling a lot of pressure and pain from the contractions since the epidural was wearing off on my left side from laying on my right side so long. We were trying to get the remainder of my cervix softened it sucked! As the contractions got stronger I continued to feel it on my left side and it was brutal, I couldn't wait until I was able to lay on my right side again to level out the epidural. Rudy kept pushing for more doses of the epidural as often as it allowed him to. Rudy was also massaging my left side which was where I was feeling the most pain.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBy 3:30 pm the doctor came in for one final check and finally what we've all been waiting for, I was 10cm! This clearly meant it was going time! I practiced pushing with my nurse and Rudy for maybe 10 minutes. Easy peasy, my nurse kept telling me how good I was at pushing giving me all the confidence I needed. The nurse finally had me stop pushing to call the doctors and let them know I was ready to start the real pushing.\u0026nbsp;\u003c/p\u003e\u003cdiv class\u003d\"separator\" style\u003d\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-p9CZAofrkh8/X-epV4FfzlI/AAAAAAAAKQk/7KR_l6x5qHQl360f1mPEv5dUWqSikq6_wCNcBGAsYHQ/s2048/IMG_6018.HEIC\" style\u003d\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003e\u003cimg border\u003d\"0\" data-original-height\u003d\"2048\" data-original-width\u003d\"1536\" src\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-p9CZAofrkh8/X-epV4FfzlI/AAAAAAAAKQk/7KR_l6x5qHQl360f1mPEv5dUWqSikq6_wCNcBGAsYHQ/s16000/IMG_6018.HEIC\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe practice pushing was easy, then the real pushing and trying to get the baby out was the hardest part of my entire labor. I now know why it's called labor, it was such a workout. I pushed and pushed, at every push I was pushing my absolute hardest. It was draining. To me, it felt like forever and never-ending. As time went by, very slowly, I was becoming more and more exhausted. I was so scared that with how exhausted I was becoming something would happen to my baby. I was so scared that maybe her heartrate would drop or something and we'd need to do an emergency c-section to get her out. So every time I would try pushing even harder. I was so tired and after each push, I remember my forehead was drenched in sweat. I also remember thinking to myself that I couldn't do this anymore. The doctors, the nurses even Rudy at times would tell me how close I was getting. One more push, one more push was all I kept hearing which to be completely honest was pissing me off! I don't know how many times they told me one more push making me want to give it my all only for them to tell me again one more push.\u0026nbsp;\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAt last, less than an hour of pushing, the baby's head finally popped out and after one more super-strong push my daughter was born. Lucy Moon was born on October 12, 2020, at 4:31 pm. She was perfect and I was immediately in love with her.\u0026nbsp;\u003c/p\u003e\u003cdiv class\u003d\"separator\" style\u003d\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-G5W7b_QpbFY/X7iVRgH63DI/AAAAAAAAKOA/vms0rQ39G_gkg1gPaYbsK1abn6lPe3VgwCNcBGAsYHQ/s2048/PicFrame-Photo.jpg\" style\u003d\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003e\u003cimg border\u003d\"0\" data-original-height\u003d\"1365\" data-original-width\u003d\"2048\" src\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-G5W7b_QpbFY/X7iVRgH63DI/AAAAAAAAKOA/vms0rQ39G_gkg1gPaYbsK1abn6lPe3VgwCNcBGAsYHQ/s16000/PicFrame-Photo.jpg\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003cp\u003eEverything, after she was placed immediately on my chest, is a complete blur. I remember crying so hard, she was finally here. The daughter I had been praying for my whole life was finally here, she was finally mine and in my arms. I was also pretty damn happy that I was done pushing haha.\u0026nbsp;\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRudy and I are both so in love with this tiny human, there is nothing I wouldn't do for her. I would go through it all over and over again. IVF, pregnancy, and labor everything for this perfect angel.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cdiv class\u003d\"separator\" style\u003d\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ESeHKJU-dNk/X7iew7rwhWI/AAAAAAAAKO0/Fq3e4mzasasTIegQTbaSzOzm72uHPEezACNcBGAsYHQ/s2048/IMG_5040.JPG\" style\u003d\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003e\u003cimg border\u003d\"0\" data-original-height\u003d\"1536\" data-original-width\u003d\"2048\" src\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ESeHKJU-dNk/X7iew7rwhWI/AAAAAAAAKO0/Fq3e4mzasasTIegQTbaSzOzm72uHPEezACNcBGAsYHQ/s16000/IMG_5040.JPG\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003cp\u003eLife now truly feels complete. I don't know how I lived before Lucy. She is everything I wanted and has such a personality already! She's brought the most joy into our family we're all so thankful for this blessing. I can't wait to watch her grow. My life is all hers now.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cdiv class\u003d\"separator\" style\u003d\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dg0Zzk-J-q8/X7rDNdQW7qI/AAAAAAAAKPE/WUbMqGgydBkVnwwyUaYwQWDitHAFWqaJACNcBGAsYHQ/s185/newSign.png\" style\u003d\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003e\u003cimg border\u003d\"0\" data-original-height\u003d\"91\" data-original-width\u003d\"185\" src\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dg0Zzk-J-q8/X7rDNdQW7qI/AAAAAAAAKPE/WUbMqGgydBkVnwwyUaYwQWDitHAFWqaJACNcBGAsYHQ/s0/newSign.png\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/div\u003e"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"https://www.ohhjuliana.com/feeds/4252678224123674757/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.ohhjuliana.com/2020/11/lucys-birth-story.html#comment-form","title":"2 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"https://www.blogger.com/feeds/400672302414468518/posts/default/4252678224123674757"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"https://www.blogger.com/feeds/400672302414468518/posts/default/4252678224123674757"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.ohhjuliana.com/2020/11/lucys-birth-story.html","title":"Lucy's Birth Story"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Juliana "},"uri":{"$t":"https://www.blogger.com/profile/09410637408830790715"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"24","height":"32","src":"//blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinw98N1LY4v8SvYbQE7_w8QZkoJjgkTZuMxaLciiTGhqEIOsYZtOXCNr7YQTC05lz_vPv4_jABDfn8oJ2giVQ_04s9i77G94gU9ZaprRtLepq-xmeSbo8krD2DNsPoZT0/s113/ACS_0224.JPG"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-B_HzOKFrnMI/X7V7ik3FY8I/AAAAAAAAKN4/vuJZgc_hFX0qJAn-1C68NfNUswpOZ0acQCNcBGAsYHQ/s72-c/IMG_3898.heic","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"2"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-400672302414468518.post-6116314030880199545"},"published":{"$t":"2020-10-21T05:00:00.003-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2020-11-03T09:55:35.158-08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"On The Real"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Pregnancy"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"A Note To My Daughter"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003cdiv class\u003d\"separator\" style\u003d\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-WBiX2FAHeDQ/X3IND2_lM9I/AAAAAAAAKFM/Tjs0NwbEOtgHFxjy8YuZzIfSmlYOFzkrQCNcBGAsYHQ/s2048/IMG_9254.jpg\" style\u003d\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003e\u003cimg border\u003d\"0\" data-original-height\u003d\"1365\" data-original-width\u003d\"2048\" src\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-WBiX2FAHeDQ/X3IND2_lM9I/AAAAAAAAKFM/Tjs0NwbEOtgHFxjy8YuZzIfSmlYOFzkrQCNcBGAsYHQ/s16000/IMG_9254.jpg\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003cdiv class\u003d\"separator\" style\u003d\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003c/div\u003eAs I sit here, typing this all down I have a whirlwind of emotions running through me. I have been dreaming and praying for this my entire life and it blows my mind that my time has finally come. I cannot believe how ridiculously fast this pregnancy has flown by. I've been enjoying every single second of it and the thought of it coming to an end, and soon, crushes me. As much as I can't wait to meet you, my baby girl, I don't want this pregnancy to end. There is so much that I am feeling these last few weeks and days, and so much I want to say to you and that I want you to know before you arrive. So here I go, this is my little note to you, \u003ci\u003emy\u003c/i\u003e \u003ci\u003edaughter\u003c/i\u003e.\u003cbr /\u003e\n\u003cbr /\u003e\nFor as long as I can remember I have been dreaming of \u003ci\u003eyou\u003c/i\u003e.\u003cbr /\u003e\n\u003cbr /\u003e\nI wanted \u003ci\u003eyou\u003c/i\u003e so badly I just knew I would've done anything in order to have \u003ci\u003eyou\u003c/i\u003e.\u003cbr /\u003e\n\u003cbr /\u003e\nIt's crazy to think of how much I've loved \u003ci\u003eyou\u003c/i\u003e even before you were created before you even existed.\u003cbr /\u003e\n\u003cbr /\u003e\nI would go through all of the tears, heartbreaks, doctors' appointments, ultrasounds, procedures, hormone injections, and bruises over and over again knowing that it would all lead me to \u003ci\u003eyou\u003c/i\u003e.\u003cbr /\u003e\n\u003cbr /\u003e\nOne thing I've been loving is having \u003ci\u003eyou\u003c/i\u003e all to myself.\u003cbr /\u003e\n\u003cbr /\u003e\nFeeling \u003ci\u003eyou\u003c/i\u003e thrive and grow inside of me has been everything I ever dreamt of.\u003cbr /\u003e\n\u003cbr /\u003e\nI will cherish all these moments I've had with \u003ci\u003eyou\u003c/i\u003e inside of me.\u003cbr /\u003e\n\u003cbr /\u003e\nInside of me, \u003ci\u003eyou\u003c/i\u003e are safe.\u003cbr /\u003e\n\u003cbr /\u003e\nI can protect \u003ci\u003eyou\u003c/i\u003e from all the harm and evil this world has.\u003cbr /\u003e\n\u003cbr /\u003e\n\u003ci\u003eYou\u003c/i\u003e are so loved.\u003cdiv class\u003d\"separator\" style\u003d\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Lq_zClRPbB8/X3IWxrAQo7I/AAAAAAAAKI0/uu5qIMxW9hAU7MCPyR8f86g8Rc2BZ9EBACNcBGAsYHQ/s185/newSign.png\" imageanchor\u003d\"1\" style\u003d\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003e\u003cimg border\u003d\"0\" data-original-height\u003d\"91\" data-original-width\u003d\"185\" src\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Lq_zClRPbB8/X3IWxrAQo7I/AAAAAAAAKI0/uu5qIMxW9hAU7MCPyR8f86g8Rc2BZ9EBACNcBGAsYHQ/s0/newSign.png\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/div\u003e"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"https://www.ohhjuliana.com/feeds/6116314030880199545/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.ohhjuliana.com/2020/10/a-note-to-my-daughter.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"https://www.blogger.com/feeds/400672302414468518/posts/default/6116314030880199545"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"https://www.blogger.com/feeds/400672302414468518/posts/default/6116314030880199545"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.ohhjuliana.com/2020/10/a-note-to-my-daughter.html","title":"A Note To My Daughter"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Juliana "},"uri":{"$t":"https://www.blogger.com/profile/09410637408830790715"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"24","height":"32","src":"//blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinw98N1LY4v8SvYbQE7_w8QZkoJjgkTZuMxaLciiTGhqEIOsYZtOXCNr7YQTC05lz_vPv4_jABDfn8oJ2giVQ_04s9i77G94gU9ZaprRtLepq-xmeSbo8krD2DNsPoZT0/s113/ACS_0224.JPG"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-WBiX2FAHeDQ/X3IND2_lM9I/AAAAAAAAKFM/Tjs0NwbEOtgHFxjy8YuZzIfSmlYOFzkrQCNcBGAsYHQ/s72-c/IMG_9254.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-400672302414468518.post-4235013834985839345"},"published":{"$t":"2020-04-24T05:00:00.001-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2021-07-05T09:13:54.904-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"On The Real"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Fertility"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Get To Know Me"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"My Journey To Motherhood"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003cdiv class\u003d\"separator\" style\u003d\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003e\n\u003ca href\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/--Z9c1oQ39D0/XqEASdmxXyI/AAAAAAAAJ1o/W2WehiaVI5cqeu2thgd3jBE0I2Z9eIi9gCNcBGAsYHQ/s1600/IMG_7656.JPG\" style\u003d\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003e\u003cimg border\u003d\"0\" data-original-height\u003d\"1067\" data-original-width\u003d\"1600\" src\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/--Z9c1oQ39D0/XqEASdmxXyI/AAAAAAAAJ1o/W2WehiaVI5cqeu2thgd3jBE0I2Z9eIi9gCNcBGAsYHQ/s1600/IMG_7656.JPG\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\nFor as long as I can remember, I always knew I wanted to be a mom, that was why I was put into this world, the reason that I am living. I always looked forward to the day that I would get married and finally get that child I had always longed for. Growing up for some odd reason I always feared I couldn't have children. I don't know why I just did and that fear stuck with me forever. I think it was probably because getting pregnant, having a baby, becoming a mother was something I wanted so badly. I feared I would never get that... Never did I ever think I would find myself here, in this position, typing up my journey with \u003ci\u003einfertility\u003c/i\u003e. Like most people, I always thought getting pregnant would be easy just like you hear people talking about. That's not the case for everyone. 1 in 8 couples has difficulties in getting pregnant. You guys probably didn't know, Rudy and I are 1 in 8. This week is National Infertility Awareness Week and I want to finally share my journey with fertility. Now let's go all the way to January of 2019, that is where the story begins.\u003cbr /\u003e\n\u003cbr /\u003e\nAs soon as 2019 hit Rudy and I decided it was finally time to seek help from specialists. At the time, we had been trying to get pregnant for well over two years. Months after months of negative pregnancy tests, it was time we'd finally get some answers as to what was going on. When we embarked on our fertility journey I started journaling. You may remember me lightly mentioning how I had been filling a journal with my thoughts and feelings on what I was going through. Well, this was it, it was all about my fertility journey. I documented every doctor's appointment, every event, every single procedure, just about everything which ended up being very helpful for this post.\u003cbr /\u003e\n\u003cbr /\u003e\nI reached out to my OBGYN in January and explained to her that Rudy and I had been trying to get pregnant for over two years at that point and had been unsuccessful. She had me contact our insurance member services to ask about our coverage with fertility treatments as currently, only \u003ci\u003eseventeen\u003c/i\u003e states have fertility insurance coverage, and fertility treatments can be extremely expensive. Once I was informed our insurance covered fertility treatments my Dr sent a referral to the clinic so that we could get things started. About a week later I received a call from the REI clinic to schedule a consultation with one of the fertility Drs. and before that appointment, I would have to go get my blood draw on day two of my cycle. Lots and lots of blood tests for me, and Rudy had to go in once to get his blood drawn. Also, let me add that when it comes to fertility treatments there is a whole lot of waiting. Your patience is really tested throughout this journey.\u003cbr /\u003e\n\u003cdiv class\u003d\"separator\" style\u003d\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003e\n\u003ca href\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JWCnXGPJLjU/Xp9cVzdpu8I/AAAAAAAAJ1c/qFtHYamLeywCDd9v4SgVC3Dn7SyIyDopgCNcBGAsYHQ/s1600/IMG_9563.JPG\" style\u003d\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003e\u003cimg border\u003d\"0\" data-original-height\u003d\"1200\" data-original-width\u003d\"1600\" src\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JWCnXGPJLjU/Xp9cVzdpu8I/AAAAAAAAJ1c/qFtHYamLeywCDd9v4SgVC3Dn7SyIyDopgCNcBGAsYHQ/s1600/IMG_9563.JPG\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\nFinally, a month later in February, we had our consultation appointment and I really liked our Dr. He was extremely informative and straight forward. During this consultation, he also went over all of mine and Rudy's blood tests along with Rudy's semen analysis results. Everything looked great, everything looked normal for our age. This was great news but also frustrating because it left us asking ourselves, \"\u003ci\u003ewhat is the problem then\u003c/i\u003e?\". We decided that our next step would be going with an IUI procedure. An IUI is an intrauterine insemination, more commonly known as artificial insemination. The way I always explained it to people was the way Jane from the tv-show \u003ci\u003eJane the Virgin\u003c/i\u003e got pregnant. It's one of the more simple fertility treatments out there which can be done without using any fertility drugs. During the procedure, semen is specially washed and directly transferred into the uterus via a catheter. Don't worry this was completely painless. However, before I was able to start this I had to undergo one specific procedure, hysterosalpingography (HSG).\u003cbr /\u003e\n\u003cbr /\u003e\nIn the middle of March I arrived at the hospital to get my HSG done I didn't know what to expect. All I knew was that they were going to insert some dye into my uterus to see if it flows properly into my ovaries. Let me begin by explaining exactly what an HSG is. It is a test done with an X-ray to see the outline of the shape of the uterus to find out if the fallopian tubes are blocked. A \"thin\" catheter is inserted through the vagina and cervix then a blue dye is injected into the uterus. I'm going, to be honest, this was the worst procedure I had to do throughout my entire fertility journey. It was so painful I swear at that moment I didn't think I was going to be able to go through with it. The pain was pretty unbearable, I was so uncomfortable and felt a whole lot of pressure. It was overwhelming and I kept telling myself to breathe through it, easier said than done. Once the technician arrived they started injecting the dye and before I knew it was finally over. The technician stated that my left tube looked blocked... which months down the line I was told by my new fertility Dr that my tube actually didn't look blocked at all.\u003cbr /\u003e\n\u003cdiv class\u003d\"separator\" style\u003d\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003e\n\u003ca href\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LD6-PmK8LS8/XpOyNIefNbI/AAAAAAAAJ0c/IUuuY1bFng8pjsf3muUS2drikxGLeSo-ACNcBGAsYHQ/s1600/IMG_9728.HEIC\" style\u003d\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003e\u003cimg border\u003d\"0\" data-original-height\u003d\"1200\" data-original-width\u003d\"1600\" src\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LD6-PmK8LS8/XpOyNIefNbI/AAAAAAAAJ0c/IUuuY1bFng8pjsf3muUS2drikxGLeSo-ACNcBGAsYHQ/s1600/IMG_9728.HEIC\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\nOnce all the mandatory blood work and procedures were done Rudy and I were set to begin our first round of IUI. It begins with them getting me started on a medication called Femara, also known as Clomid, two pills a day for five days. This medication is meant to help you grow more follicles giving you a higher chance of getting pregnant. On day ten of my cycle, they had me start taking ovulation tests at home to see when I'm ovulating. Then about a week later it's time for an ultrasound to check on how many follicles I have grown and ready to burst, \"\u003ci\u003eovulate\u003c/i\u003e\". (During fertility treatments, all of your ultrasounds are done vaginally, so it's something you really have to get used to doing.) \u0026nbsp;It was a Thursday and the nurse told me I had one large follicle on my right side that was ready to burst any day. She also said she was sure I'd ovulate by Sunday at the latest. Turns out she was right because on Saturday morning I tested positive for ovulating and we had our first IUI that afternoon. Clearly, we all know what the outcome of that insemination, negative, so then we had to wait for the following month for me to get my period and try again.\u003cbr /\u003e\n\u003cdiv class\u003d\"separator\" style\u003d\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003e\n\u003ca href\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8uugUvm25zI/XpOyRXYAARI/AAAAAAAAJ0g/5rgNq_5pv484PW8_tZJ9zwXg5R2f7RBAQCNcBGAsYHQ/s1600/IMG_9045.JPG\" style\u003d\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003e\u003cimg border\u003d\"0\" data-original-height\u003d\"1067\" data-original-width\u003d\"1600\" src\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8uugUvm25zI/XpOyRXYAARI/AAAAAAAAJ0g/5rgNq_5pv484PW8_tZJ9zwXg5R2f7RBAQCNcBGAsYHQ/s1600/IMG_9045.JPG\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\nWhen it was time to get the ball rolling again when taking Femara again I was told to take three pills this time for five days in hopes we get more follicles when I ovulate. We did another IUI procedure on April 22, and again negative results. Time and time again after continuously getting nothing but negative pregnancy results it never got any easier. I would usually have an entire day that consisted of me crying my eyes out asking God why can't I get pregnant. Why can't I conceive a baby on my own?\u003cbr /\u003e\n\u003cdiv class\u003d\"separator\" style\u003d\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003e\n\u003ca href\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-f6EkR5rOv-g/XpOylXWDkBI/AAAAAAAAJ0s/HIsyzJp8sX8e7cxDmmgSEw0dODHQQBDNACNcBGAsYHQ/s1600/IMG_9047.JPG\" style\u003d\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003e\u003cimg border\u003d\"0\" data-original-height\u003d\"1067\" data-original-width\u003d\"1600\" src\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-f6EkR5rOv-g/XpOylXWDkBI/AAAAAAAAJ0s/HIsyzJp8sX8e7cxDmmgSEw0dODHQQBDNACNcBGAsYHQ/s1600/IMG_9047.JPG\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\nAt this point I didn't know what to do, continue doing rounds of IUIs? My Dr at the time believed I had my left tube blocked so he wanted me to call to schedule a mini surgery to clear out my tube but like all things, in the fertility world, I had to wait until a specific day in my cycle. When I called to set up the appointment the nurse that was helping me told me a catheter they need for that surgery was on backorder so I would have to wait until possibly June to get an appointment, this was when she suggested I'd get on the waiting list for IVF.\u003cbr /\u003e\n\u003cbr /\u003e\nThe nurse was the sweetest ever! She was so kind and helpful. She told me that the location I was going to the waitlist for IVF was for the end of September beginning October. She offered to send a referral for me for a different location which wasn't too far from me just in case they had a shorter waiting list. I was so thankful for that. Less than a week later I received a call from the clinic to schedule my consultation with my new Dr which I love! The only thing that sucked was that we were in May and our consultation wasn't until July. The torture am I right?\u003cbr /\u003e\n\u003cdiv class\u003d\"separator\" style\u003d\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003e\n\u003ca href\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1OLyOTnFDaY/Xm1DOxsS15I/AAAAAAAAJz4/r6J2pa_mOs00NWPnwHRuPYY6-YAOiO4yQCNcBGAsYHQ/s1600/ADK_0110.JPG\" style\u003d\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003e\u003cimg border\u003d\"0\" data-original-height\u003d\"898\" data-original-width\u003d\"1600\" src\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1OLyOTnFDaY/Xm1DOxsS15I/AAAAAAAAJz4/r6J2pa_mOs00NWPnwHRuPYY6-YAOiO4yQCNcBGAsYHQ/s1600/ADK_0110.JPG\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\nDuring the months leading up to our consultation, we planned to still continue trying to get pregnant on our own. I always thought maybe somehow we'd have a miracle and we'd be blessed with a little baby before even needing that appointment. Without even needing to do IVF because in all honestly deep down inside I didn't want to go down that route. I was scared to do IVF and sadly I was ashamed of the thought that I would need to undergo IVF treatments to have a baby. I know that's so stupid for me to feel that way, but that's the reality of infertility. We're thought to be ashamed of it. I was still hoping I could possibly get pregnant naturally and on our own.\u003cbr /\u003e\n\u003cbr /\u003e\nThis is where I'm going to end this post since the continuation will be the perfect way for me to introduce my journey with IVF. Thank you so much for joining me on this extremely personal and raw post. Infertility is a hard journey to be in but my goodness does it open your eyes to being the person you want to be and becoming such a strong woman at that. If you or anyone you know that is struggling with infertility, I am here for you. Please, feel free to reach out.\u003cbr /\u003e\n\u003cbr /\u003e\n\u003cdiv class\u003d\"separator\" style\u003d\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003e\n\u003ca href\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-I0baxBGK76M/XmgQT3tTQRI/AAAAAAAAJzw/T99qGpoBhLcVilh49povwdVNorxkhCNlwCNcBGAsYHQ/s1600/newSign.png\" style\u003d\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003e\u003cimg border\u003d\"0\" data-original-height\u003d\"91\" data-original-width\u003d\"185\" src\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-I0baxBGK76M/XmgQT3tTQRI/AAAAAAAAJzw/T99qGpoBhLcVilh49povwdVNorxkhCNlwCNcBGAsYHQ/s1600/newSign.png\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\n"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"https://www.ohhjuliana.com/feeds/4235013834985839345/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.ohhjuliana.com/2020/04/my-journey-to-motherhood.html#comment-form","title":"4 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"https://www.blogger.com/feeds/400672302414468518/posts/default/4235013834985839345"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"https://www.blogger.com/feeds/400672302414468518/posts/default/4235013834985839345"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.ohhjuliana.com/2020/04/my-journey-to-motherhood.html","title":"My Journey To Motherhood"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Juliana "},"uri":{"$t":"https://www.blogger.com/profile/09410637408830790715"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"24","height":"32","src":"//blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinw98N1LY4v8SvYbQE7_w8QZkoJjgkTZuMxaLciiTGhqEIOsYZtOXCNr7YQTC05lz_vPv4_jABDfn8oJ2giVQ_04s9i77G94gU9ZaprRtLepq-xmeSbo8krD2DNsPoZT0/s113/ACS_0224.JPG"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/--Z9c1oQ39D0/XqEASdmxXyI/AAAAAAAAJ1o/W2WehiaVI5cqeu2thgd3jBE0I2Z9eIi9gCNcBGAsYHQ/s72-c/IMG_7656.JPG","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"4"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-400672302414468518.post-6080673319809596428"},"published":{"$t":"2019-08-14T05:00:00.000-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2020-02-03T07:33:31.968-08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"On The Real"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Get To Know Me"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Note-To-Self"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003cdiv class\u003d\"separator\" style\u003d\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class\u003d\"separator\" style\u003d\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003e\n\u003ca href\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nsosfZl1Zec/XVLuih0Zw5I/AAAAAAAAI5Y/VNx4UiYa2WMOUgnRMVf5K9P6MFI1YQE5ACLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_3755.JPG\" imageanchor\u003d\"1\" style\u003d\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003e\u003cimg border\u003d\"0\" data-original-height\u003d\"1280\" data-original-width\u003d\"1600\" src\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nsosfZl1Zec/XVLuih0Zw5I/AAAAAAAAI5Y/VNx4UiYa2WMOUgnRMVf5K9P6MFI1YQE5ACLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_3755.JPG\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\nLately, I have been going through a whirlwind of emotions and sometimes I don't know how to handle it all. It gets bottled up inside until I'm just ready to explode. Recently I started keeping a journal in regards to a specific subject in my life, mostly to look back on, and I've been enjoying the feeling I get once I write down all the emotions I've been \u003ci\u003efeeling\u003c/i\u003e and going through. It's so liberating expressing myself to that journal with no judgments, no concerns about comments tossed at me, and no worries about getting questioned about what I'm doing and why. This is a little note for me in case I ever lose sight of things again and what's important to me in my life.\u003cbr /\u003e\n\u003cbr /\u003e\nI'm such a people pleaser, it's one of my worst qualities and I find people take advantage of me for that. My whole life I've always struggled with not wanting to let anyone down specifically loved ones. Sometimes I lose sight of what's really important, that's \u003cb\u003emyself\u003c/b\u003e. I get so caught up in wanting to help others and making sure I'm always able to help them out with \"favors\". When it's something out of my control I get so stressed out and upset with myself. I need to learn how to stop blaming myself for things like that and remember I'm under no obligation in doing things for others. I forget how to set boundaries. I end up doing this too much that I begin to feel extremely overwhelmed.\u003cbr /\u003e\n\u003cbr /\u003e\nIt's unfortunate when it ends up being a one-way relationship. I can't keep surrounding myself with people who are always asking me for things, for favors, for help. I think I make excuses that I've known this person for so long and/or it's family. There are no excuses for being taken advantage of! I never ask people for help unless it's my husband or my dad, and if I'm asking for help it's because I'm desperate. My very last resort. For some reason I've always felt uncomfortable which is all on me I know. There's only so much one person can do for others because it ends up becoming a habit. I'm learning more and more how to set up boundaries and how to set aside those who only seek favors from me. An opportune moment. I will no longer stretch myself thin for others benefit, family or friend.\u003cbr /\u003e\n\u003cbr /\u003e\nWith being such a people pleaser it's especially dishearting when it comes to myself and my feelings, and those who I've prioritized\u0026nbsp;to help are nowhere to be found. I've grown tired of the feeling of disappointment and overall feeling bad for doing what I want or wanting what I want. Those people have been incredibly inconsiderate recently and this is really upsetting especially with everything that I have been going through and dealing with. Heck, they probably have no clue as to what they're doing/have done! When you made me feel less of an importance\u0026nbsp;than your life and \u003ci\u003eyour\u003c/i\u003e struggles, that was my last straw. Sorry, not sorry!\u003cbr /\u003e\n\u003cbr /\u003e\nI guess I've always struggled with prioritizing what's important in life, and again that's \u003cb\u003eme\u003c/b\u003e. I just wanted to put this post and words out there. I hope whenever I'm feeling down, used, and taken advantage of I remember to reflect on this post. I hope to remember all the feelings I was surrounded by as I was writing this post. This isn't to hurt or upset anyone, maybe just a little bit of a heads up, but mostly for me. Just a little note-to-self.\u003cbr /\u003e\n\u003cbr /\u003e\n\u003cdiv class\u003d\"separator\" style\u003d\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003e\n\u003ca href\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-WqIa_vXLjWs/XVLw7YxHaNI/AAAAAAAAI5k/AMc0s4-q_nc5r7Y0_hJUDgobu5dhTD3fwCLcBGAs/s1600/rose.png\" imageanchor\u003d\"1\" style\u003d\"margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\"\u003e\u003cimg border\u003d\"0\" data-original-height\u003d\"54\" data-original-width\u003d\"158\" src\u003d\"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-WqIa_vXLjWs/XVLw7YxHaNI/AAAAAAAAI5k/AMc0s4-q_nc5r7Y0_hJUDgobu5dhTD3fwCLcBGAs/s1600/rose.png\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\n"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"https://www.ohhjuliana.com/feeds/6080673319809596428/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.ohhjuliana.com/2019/08/note-to-self.html#comment-form","title":"2 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"https://www.blogger.com/feeds/400672302414468518/posts/default/6080673319809596428"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"https://www.blogger.com/feeds/400672302414468518/posts/default/6080673319809596428"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"https://www.ohhjuliana.com/2019/08/note-to-self.html","title":"Note-To-Self"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Juliana "},"uri":{"$t":"https://www.blogger.com/profile/09410637408830790715"},"email":{"$t":"noreply@blogger.com"},"gd$image":{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#thumbnail","width":"24","height":"32","src":"//blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinw98N1LY4v8SvYbQE7_w8QZkoJjgkTZuMxaLciiTGhqEIOsYZtOXCNr7YQTC05lz_vPv4_jABDfn8oJ2giVQ_04s9i77G94gU9ZaprRtLepq-xmeSbo8krD2DNsPoZT0/s113/ACS_0224.JPG"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nsosfZl1Zec/XVLuih0Zw5I/AAAAAAAAI5Y/VNx4UiYa2WMOUgnRMVf5K9P6MFI1YQE5ACLcBGAs/s72-c/IMG_3755.JPG","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"2"}}]}});