Delete comment from: Captain Capitalism
I think there is no right or wrong answer. Clubs are full of many different people looking for different things. Granted ... the majority of guys who dance in clubs are looking/hoping to get lucky. It is true that many married women do get dolled up and go to clubs purposely looking for attention but say they are just going out for fun ... that they like to dance etc. Many will not admit this, even to themselves. On the other hand, there are many individuals who are honest, respectful and just want to have a good evening with dance and fun.
I feel that those who snub anyone in this case, for feeling jealous etc., are ignorant. It is part of being human and caring ... the degree of which may be problematic, but it is no body's business (like in this forum) to put another down for having feelings of jealousy (husbands that is). "Everybody" can be jealous to some degree ...it is natural as joy.
I have witnessed first hand women telling their husbands they were "only dancing" ... that nothing out of the ordinary happened on any given evening when clearly much more than "nothing" went on. Many women, especially after several drinks, will allow a stranger to do much more than what is acceptable. Anyone who denies that this happens has never been to a big dance club and watched with eyes wide open.
This is exactly what the insecure/jealous guy at home fears and it certainly does occur. Not saying every married women (or man) behaves this way in a dance club, but it does happen more than most realize or are "willing" to admit. It is not even that the people who do behave this way don't love their significant other; it comes down to a matter of respect and honesty ... with your spouse and yourself. Unfortunately, some are willing to throw this under the rug to go out and have fun.
Many people are willing to lie, to themselves and think they are not doing wrong etc. and have somehow come to believe that behaving this way is harmless. Any issues of jealousy/lack of trust and the truth of what actually goes during "lady's/men’s night out" should be discussed, with the help of a third party if necessary. This kind of behaviour is the kind of spark that can lead to much bigger problems or fuel other issues.
Issues like this should be worked out one way or another ... the old "what they don't know won't hurt them" attitude is not “right” any way you look at it ... no one should be forced to accept anything or be kept in the dark. That old saying of “what comes around goes around” exists for a reason. I do believe that for the most part the vast majority of married women are not running out and having sex etc. but I do believe that sometimes much more than what is relayed to the husband goes on.
Dancing by nature is sexual/erotic/ sensual and anyone who denies that.... well I’ve got some swamp land ... When women get dressed up and are in the mood for fun, things can and sometimes do happen and what woman ever wants to be 100% honest and burst their fun bubble? Often if someone is so hesitant to tell another the truth is it because they themselves know that what has transgressed is not acceptable ... or maybe to themselves but not their significant other. Living a lie is not good ... especially if one is doing so simply for the sake of personal enjoyment/entertainment.
Jun 15, 2011, 5:51:01 AM
Posted to Dancing Etiquette for Married Women