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"THE EXCITEMENT METER IS RISING"

4 Comments -

1 – 4 of 4
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Holy cow, look at all those lights lighting that place up. What about the squirrels? Does that cause them to think it's day time and freak out running into traffic?

December 10, 2010 at 8:47 PM

Blogger KEVIN BROOKMAN said...

You have a very valid point, but Sarah will release a logical explanation any day now.

It seems that squirrels mate in daylight, Therefore by extending the "hours of mating" with artificial light, the squirrels will be tricked into over-producing, which will in turn account for an increase in the squirrel population in Bushnell Park. The increased population should offset any unfortunate squirrel electrocutions caused by additional Christmas lights strung in the park.

According to Sarah, a plan is being worked on to offset bird electrocutions also, but that is taking longer than expected and the Council will be setting up a task force to study the issue. I guess they are taking those comments that the Council is "for the birds" literally.

Sarah stated that Dr. Deutsch, in cooperation with his fellow Councilmembers had proposed feeding Viagra to earthworms in the Park to assist the birds with their increased "production" demands when they ate the worms laced with the Viagra. Unfortunately, with the onset of the cold weather, the worms were staying deep underground. The bird task force is expected to meet later next week.

And for those that didn't get the "severe lead poisoning" comments last week, it is called sarcasm.

December 10, 2010 at 9:25 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I believe the city is outsourcing the STF-UP (Squirrel Task Force Urban Program) to former Hartford employees who are still friends with members of city leadership.

December 10, 2010 at 10:00 PM

Anonymous Billy the Goat said...

Lots of people skating these past few days...looks like some of the Bushnell Park bashing was a little premature.

December 17, 2010 at 2:21 PM

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