I've found that maintaining friendships outside of school takes active work. Touching base through emails, text, or phone calls keeps us connected and keeps my friends on my mind. If I don't frequently keep small tabs I'm less likely to make that big phone call and catch up.
The challenge for me is not only meeting new people, but how long it takes to progress from acquaintances to friends to good friends. In high school, you see your friends all day, every day. In college, you live together, and proximity promotes bonding. I have adult friends who I see once a month, if that. We all work, and are committed to vastly different lifestyles and schedules; seeing each other more often is difficult. It's taken us years to achieve the level of intimacy you achieve in a matter of months in a college dorm.
Work friends are great, because you see them often, but what happens when one of you leaves the job? Often, you lose the strongest tie that bound you, and those people fade away. I struggle with this, too, and I'm realizing that it's not just about meeting new people, but making more time for the ones you already know and want to get to know better.
November 11, 2009 at 5:05 PM
One thing my friends and I have noticed in the past couple of years is that it's really hard to make new friends. High school is all about making friends and socializing, so it's really easy to do it there. College becomes a bit more challenging, but you've got roommates and joining a club or organization helps. But once you're out of college, the opportunities to meet new people become scarce. You can make some friends at work, but that's not always a sure thing -- co-workers might not be in the same age group, or you might not have much in common.
I've kept in touch with my sorority sisters and some of my friends from college, but it's been hard to make new friends. I was fortunate enough to become friends with one of my co-workers and we've gotten close over the past few months. As I've written before, blogging has also given me the opportunity to interact with like-minded people and develop relationships with some of them. What starts over a series of blog posts and comments, continues through Twitter and Tumblr, and then we meet and a friendship is solidified. (I can't wait until the next conference so we can all spend more time hanging out together.)
Hmm... I guess when I write it all out like that, I've actually been pretty lucky so far.
But still, it makes me curious to learn how other people make and maintain friendships once they've left school. Do you also find that it's hard to do?
Of course, I can't really complain too much. I have a lot of people I can turn to for anything I need, whether it's good conversation, a night out, or a way to waste a few hours online. I guess more friends would really just be icing on the cake at this point.
"Making Friends"
2 Comments -
I've found that maintaining friendships outside of school takes active work. Touching base through emails, text, or phone calls keeps us connected and keeps my friends on my mind. If I don't frequently keep small tabs I'm less likely to make that big phone call and catch up.
November 10, 2009 at 12:34 PM
The challenge for me is not only meeting new people, but how long it takes to progress from acquaintances to friends to good friends. In high school, you see your friends all day, every day. In college, you live together, and proximity promotes bonding. I have adult friends who I see once a month, if that. We all work, and are committed to vastly different lifestyles and schedules; seeing each other more often is difficult. It's taken us years to achieve the level of intimacy you achieve in a matter of months in a college dorm.
Work friends are great, because you see them often, but what happens when one of you leaves the job? Often, you lose the strongest tie that bound you, and those people fade away. I struggle with this, too, and I'm realizing that it's not just about meeting new people, but making more time for the ones you already know and want to get to know better.
November 11, 2009 at 5:05 PM