I think my heart is breaking....

Talk of moving off the island again.

This time, I don't wanna go.

I don't.

I feel like this island that I love so much is also the curse for my marriage. The first marriage ended in divorce. One of the issues was "demographics"... where we would live. Marriage #2 is going in the same direction.

The crazy thing is, we've done the mainland thing... twice.

I can be alone if that is my destiny.

My heart is breaking.
I feel so all alone.

I just can't move again. I don't have the heart.

I miss my mother. I feel like my heart is on the floor and I'm so sad... wishing she were around to tell me what I'm supposed to do. I already know but I need to hear her say it to me. Tell me to follow my husband. **heavy sigh**

I wish I could start all over again. I wish I were a child. Oh how I would do things differently.