It's been two whole years since I threw out the tobacco, put the "bottle" down, and gave up the intermittent bouts with "pakalolo". Food has semi-replaced the tobacco and that HAS NOT been good for the body but I'm pretty sure the tobacco was worse on me. The alcohol has been replaced, also, with food. The marijuana, I've replaced with my intermittent attempts at a regular exercise routine. There's just one thing I haven't been able to replace.

After high school I picked up the habit of smoking. I must say that acquiring that habit was not my greatest moment. My clothes stank, my house stank, my car stank, my hair, my breath! Everything smelt like cigarette smoke. But one thing about cigarettes that I have yet to discover is an equal replacement. Food doesn't do the trick because I just keep packing on the pounds. An equal replacement of cigarettes, namely Misty Men.thol Lights, would have to afford me the following:
1. Instant and immediate relief of stress: The first drag was a huge relief after a stressful day and the EXHALE was magic!
2. Able to keep me up when driving over an hour.
3. Able to keep the food out of my mouth.

Just give me one more night of barhopping drunkenness. Nothing can replace that feeling of being in the moment and loving every minute. I have never been more present in my life than when I was enjoying a nice tequila-buzz. In that moment, I rarely ever contemplated tomorrow and the hangover that was waiting. I didn't obsess over the drama at work or the apathy of the average citizen. Drinking afforded me my own optimism. Bottled up in a beer, concentrated in a shot glass -- Alcohol helped me be happy about living. Not to say that I'm not happy now... but alcohol was a different kind of giddyness. **sigh**

The thing I miss most, above the alcohol and tobacco is the sweet high of marijuana. What ancestor in the ancient world discovered pakalolo? Surely it is a gift from God. LOL! The way time would span out, the littlest things would send me into a rage of laughter, the secret jokes in my head... I miss that about weed.

So I beg someone, anyone -- Just give me one more high!!