that's what really blows my mind about the majority of or the "socially acceptable" humans.. they have all these aspirations that ammount to ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. they want to graduate high school with top marks not because they're pursuing a goal but because it's the done thing, then on to uni not because they need to study something specific but because that's just the way things are done and they need uni to get a job, then they get some empty job and aspire to be manager then they make manager and aim for the next level. they marry people they think they love have children they ignore because you're supposed to have children and buy houses that are more space than they need and they buy $50 jeans with a $350 label on them and after all that if you asked them what the point was they couldn't fucking answer because they have lived their WHOLE LIVES for someone else. top marks in highschool to impress their classmates, uni degree to impress their parents, marriage to impress their friends, promotion to impress thier peers, big house to impress their neighbours and money to impress complete fucking strangers.
and the joke is NOBODY FUCKING NOTICES BECAUSE THEY'RE ALL TOO BUSY DOING THE SAME THING TO OTHER PEOPLE!
i was just talking about this with oates tonight.. over the last two years i have had two jobs and been a part of two volunteer associations, and even though the volunteer stuff was far more work than the actual jobs and they didn't pay anything they were easilly more enjoyable because it was work to boost people up not beat them down.
i think the whole species needs to pull its head out of its arse and start acting like a community. a REAL community, not a "community" like we have now which basically ammounts to the people you judge your house and car and family against to see how far you are up the pathetic social ladder.
...
sorta went off on a tangent there. soz, my site is down and i'm feeling ranty. ;)
12:26 AM
Such an inspired title. Because you know, sitting in this fluoro lit office surrounded by beige and grey makes me want to go and sing about how beautiful it all is. It would be fine if this was a fast computer and I could run Photoshop on it but no, it's a p2 so if I want to get any work done I have to go to another computer only I can't be bothered because I have CRAMPS and feel like a blob only its not a blob made out of stone it's made out of the same material as pluto or saturn or whichever one it is that a teaspoon of weighs like 2394278461237834612542376 kgs. (Warning: not a real number).
Last night I got home and thought "I should study". Last night I got home and ate maccas and talked on irc and compulsively read the australian idol messageboards. I ended up posting on the ausmedstudent forums because I feel like I am going to fail this exam because I'm not studying enough and they pointed out it was quality not quantity so tonight I'm going to eat sugar and study quality.
I hate my work. Not because of what I do, that is fine, or the people, they are also fine but for what it represents. Nothing. It's a bit like a POW camp (well not really but its the only analogy I have) where they make them like plant stuff then let it grow then rip it out and make them do it all over again. I am not helping anyone here. I do stuff for big faceless organisations, its not like I'm helping small businesses gain exposure. I'm only facilitating those who can already afford and have the exposure. I have far too much of a conscience to be here for gods sake. Everyone here is aspiring to be a 'manager'. But a manager of what? People and things related to direct marketing. I dont want to manage anything, least of all junk mail (a dirty word around here ;). I always do this though, I always find out what I dont want to do first! I guess thats the way to go. At least if I'm a doctor and hate my job I can go ' well at least I am helping humanities quality of life in some small way'. I care about the world on a macro level, as a whole if you will which is why I can't immerse myself in this marketing bullshit. It is far, far too small scale for me.
Oh fucking hell I am a whinger. I'm supposed to be grateful right? I'm living the dream! The dream of going to uni and getting a job and aspiring to own a house and maybe one day if I'm a good girl and SUCK ENOUGH PENIS to maybe make manager! And if I sell my soul enough - executive manager! And then I can consume more and buy $500 jeans and tell everyone what brand they are and slowly my smile will become more like a grimace because it hurts to smile when you're a SHAM.
I could have been a lot more eloquent with all that but its early in the morning and I am sitting at my desk which is covered in sticky notes and hating it and being uninspired. I will be a good little Australian and aspire - but not to the things I am supposed to.
"It's raining outside."
1 Comment -
that's what really blows my mind about the majority of or the "socially acceptable" humans.. they have all these aspirations that ammount to ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. they want to graduate high school with top marks not because they're pursuing a goal but because it's the done thing, then on to uni not because they need to study something specific but because that's just the way things are done and they need uni to get a job, then they get some empty job and aspire to be manager then they make manager and aim for the next level. they marry people they think they love have children they ignore because you're supposed to have children and buy houses that are more space than they need and they buy $50 jeans with a $350 label on them and after all that if you asked them what the point was they couldn't fucking answer because they have lived their WHOLE LIVES for someone else. top marks in highschool to impress their classmates, uni degree to impress their parents, marriage to impress their friends, promotion to impress thier peers, big house to impress their neighbours and money to impress complete fucking strangers.
and the joke is NOBODY FUCKING NOTICES BECAUSE THEY'RE ALL TOO BUSY DOING THE SAME THING TO OTHER PEOPLE!
i was just talking about this with oates tonight.. over the last two years i have had two jobs and been a part of two volunteer associations, and even though the volunteer stuff was far more work than the actual jobs and they didn't pay anything they were easilly more enjoyable because it was work to boost people up not beat them down.
i think the whole species needs to pull its head out of its arse and start acting like a community. a REAL community, not a "community" like we have now which basically ammounts to the people you judge your house and car and family against to see how far you are up the pathetic social ladder.
...
sorta went off on a tangent there. soz, my site is down and i'm feeling ranty. ;)
12:26 AM