He has lived with me for almost five years. He knows who is in our family.... and who is not. He is well aware of plenty of "daddys" in the world around him including my dad, his cousins' dads, and dads of friends at church.
And yet Seth has never said a word about a dad. Even Leah calls her Daddy on the phone a few times a week, helping me to see and understand how she is processing our family. But Seth?  Not so much.
Until Sunday. The kids and I were in Walgreens as I was getting ready to leave for Chile. As we walked through the store -- out of the blue -- Seth said, "Mom, why don't we have a Daddy in our family?"
I froze. People were around. I turned to him, got down on his level, and asked, "What did you say, buddy?"
"Why we not have a daddy?" I took a deep breath, pit firmly in control of my stomach, and told Seth I would be happy to talk to him about that question in the car as soon as the shopping was done.
He accepted that response and skipped off to find a treat.
By the time we got to the van a few minutes later, he might have forgotton.  But I told him we would discuss it, so we did.
"Seth, you asked Mommy a great question and I want to answer.  We don't have a daddy because God hasn't brought us one yet.  I think that's a great thing for us to pray about, don't you?" "Yea," he answered, not making eye contact.
And that was it. I could breathe again a few minutes later, but I know "the hard" is coming more often and soon. Lord, prepare me.  Give me Your words. In Jesus' name....
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