I have had some interesting discussions and thoughts on race in America lately. I thought I would share some of those thoughts, mostly because I'm interested in getting more resources from anyone who might be reading! `To begin, I receive tons of emails from my adoption attorney here in Chicago, providing articles and book reviews and gatherings of other multi-cultural families. It has allowed me to stay up to date on issues and thoughts (some of which I agree with and others, not so much). A few months ago, I got an article that was discussing the way we talk to non-white children about their future. The author made the point that, when raising little girls, we repeatedly tell them that they "can be anything they want to be" when they grow up. See, we aren't afraid of gender. The boy/girl distinctions are ones that we are comfortable discussing and even confronting.`But it is different with race. The referenced study showed that parents of non-white children are much less likely to talk with their child about their potential in life (unlike in the gender distinctions). The author made the point that we are afraid (read: terrified) to point out and discuss race. Hmmm. I think she has a point. `Right after I read that, I started to talk to Seth about his beautiful brown skin and mommy's peach colored skin. He looked me like I was crazy, but I know it's all sinkin' in there somewhere! I want Seth to know that his skin is beautiful and that he can "be" whatever he wants when he grows up!`Then, I had a great conversation with my friend, Kathy, about race. We discussed how it is a good first step when our kids say, "Mom, the color of their skin doesn't matter," but it's only a first step. See, unfortunately, the color of your skin DOES matter in this country. Still. Even with a black President. It matters. So how do we go the next step with our kids?`I started reading "I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla -- Raising Healthy Black and Biracial Children in a Race-Conscious World" by Marguerite A. Wright. I'm only 40 pages in (so I can't completely endorse it yet) but there is a quote I want to share:`"Make no mistake: this book would not be necessary were racism irrelevant. Since racism remains very much a fact of U.S. society, responsible parents and caregivers need to reduce its impact on the development of the children they love and care for. Tragically, when they misjudge children's responses to "racial" issues by relying on their own adult views, they run the risk of magnifying the significance of race problems in their children's lives and of reducing their children's initially high capacity to handle these issues in positive ways as they mature."`Based on my reading of the first few chapters of this book, she is right! We think when a two year old says he "wants to be white" that we have failed to identify with his race, when in reality the child does not understand race identity and may want to be white because he just spent time with his best friend, wearing a white shirt!`Lord, help me to teach Seth (and any future kiddos) appropriate beliefs about race and loving people the way Jesus would. Help me to protect him from racists views and to comfort him when he is hurt. Thank you for creating us beautifully in our skin -- no matter what color. Amen.