In this most recent season of life, I'm learning more everyday about how God may see me and my faith (or lack of).  For example, when it's nearing bedtime, we often watch one TV show before we head up to bed.  I have heard myself tell Seth, "One 'Octonauts' and we are going up."  Not five minutes into the thirty minute show Seth is on my lap, back to the TV, begging me to watch two.  Or three.  He can't even watch the show that's on because he is so worried about what will happen in 30 minutes.  I've tried to explain to him that he's missing a gift by worrying about what's next but he can't get there.

Then today, I was getting a massage (time for some self-care).  I enjoyed the first 20-30 minutes and then I too became preoccupied about the massage ending.  I obsessed that it was almost over and how disappointed I would be.  (sigh)  I missed the gift!

Clearly, I have more to learn about living life right where I am instead of in the unknown and, at times, scary future:  Anxiety about a new job and providing for my kids.


 Faithful, forever You are faithful Father to the fatherless
You uphold the one who feels forsaken
You are faithful, God
Anxiety about getting my kids into the right school district, which means selling our house and finding a new one -- all in the worst.market.ever.

Faithful, forever You are faithful
Lover of the wounded heart
You defend the poor and the forgotten
You are faithful, God
Persistent sadness over circumstances that need to be accepted and even embraced.

And I will sing to the maker of Heaven and Earth
God, You reign forever and Your will endure
Faithful and true is the name of the Lord
You are faithful, God
 Loneliness that God stands ready to salve, if only I'll let Him.

Faithful, forever You are faithful
Shelter for the fragile soul
You lift us up, You hold us all together
You are faithful, God
 Burdened by need around the world -- and particularly in Africa -- and what role my family can play.  Burdened and troubled by orphans needing families and families needing food.

You are there in every season of my soul
You are there, You're the anchor that will hold
You are there, in the valley of the shadows
You are faithful, God
YOU ARE FAITHFUL, GOD.
Thanks, Chris Tomlin, for the lyrics. [Image]