Patience is a virtue.  You can never have enough patience.  While God has certainly grown my capacity for patience since becoming a mother five years ago, it’s never quite enough to cover the 200th “why” question of the day.  Or to ignore the 10th toy you’ve tripped over.  Patience is a virtue…. and one of which I *always* need more.
  Love multiplies.  Exponentially.  My love for Seth has done nothing but grow since he came home on November 16, 2007.  I think most of us would expect that.  But what is unexpected is how love multiplies.  Now, with three kids, I have three times the love walkin’ around outside of my body.  It’s incredible!  And it grows.  Daily.  
   Love is a choice.  Bonding doesn’t always happen immediately with your kiddos – whether adopted or born of your body.  I’ve had friends tell me that they have nothing in common with their biological child and difficulties bonding with him/her.  Also true in adoption.  But, see number 2:  love grows.  With all three of my kiddos, I love them more today than yesterday.  I expect to love them more tomorrow.  I pray so.
      Yelling accomplishes little.  When you up the ante, so do the kids.  Whispering is far more effective but a million times harder.  For me.
      Kids learn from you.  I know this is obvious, but it becomes painfully so when you are a parent.  My kids mimic nearly everything I do.  Talk about intimidating!  And, see number 4, they tend to mimic the things you would rather they NOT mimic.  Nothing breaks my heart more than hearing Seth yell at his siblings…. Because he heard me do the same to him.  Ugh.
      Kids listen.  An obvious theme of our family is adoption and caring for kids without parents.  The good part about this is that my kids have HUGE hearts for kids who need mamas.  Unfortunately, this means I get bombarded by them nearly every day begging for another child to be added to our family.  But I’m done.  We are full. 
      Older is wiser.  I’m very thankful that I waited to have my kids until I was a bit older.  Sure, I would have had more energy to chase them when I was 25, but instead, I had the chance to learn from others’ parenting what I wanted to do and not to do.  I had a chance to live out my life as a single woman before bringing on the responsibility of kiddos.  My age has been a blessing.  
      Parenting is hard.  Especially single parenting.  What job is right; which house to purchase; how to save for college; how many activities are too many; need a tutor?; school selections; church choices; discipline techniques; dating….  And the list goes on.  Parenting with two adults is hard enough.  Making all of those decisions alone can be daunting.  Don’t enter single parenting lightly.  It’s a big job.  
      Time management is paramount.  Finding the time to parent, have a job, keep up a house, exercise, attend a Life Group, and be a grown up every so often is work.  Managing “free time” in your day is key.  Can you read on the train to work?  Does quiet time need to happen before the kids are up or after they are down?  Can you grocery shop while one child is at ballet (thus making it easier since you have two rather than three with you)?  Can you change batteries {in innumerable toys} while the spaghetti water is heating to a boil?  Can you answer six emails while the babies are putting on their jammies and brushing their teeth?  
    Comparing never ends well.  My kids are not like anyone else’s, so don’t bother with the comparison game.  It’s not worth it and only leads to frustration, competition or worse.  My children are all beautifully and wonderfully made.  Full stop.
    Your kids will hurt you.  I don’t think they mean to, at this age, but one day they may.  Zechariah asking to go back to Uganda {every day} drives a knife into my gut.  I try to remember he is adjusting and it’s not personal, but remember number 2?  He’s already part of my heart outside my body.  Love is beautiful and it can hurt too.  
    Forgiveness is ready.  I screw up with my kids . . . a lot.  I need forgiveness . . . a lot.  At least with my kids, forgiveness comes fast and easy.  When I raise my voice {number 4}, whether necessary or not, I often beat myself up far longer than my kids even appear to remember it.  Having said that, Lord help me not to abuse their forgiveness because, as we all know, they will sit in a therapy chair about it one day.  Ha!
     My attitudes about food will be passed along.  I’ve noticed that what I say and do with food, my children say/do about food.  Just yesterday I heard Zechariah telling Seth, “If you don’t try new things, you won’t know whether you like them.”  Huh.  Wonder where he heard that one?!?!  I already feel worried about my gorgeous daughter and what jacked up warped ideas she may get about her body from this society.  I pray that God will help me instill healthy exercise/food priorities in my kids starting now.  
  It's not about me.    And yet, it is.  Parenting, for me, as been one of the most refining things in my life.  I have to constantly evaluate myself, my choices, and my behavior.  I see myself in them -- the good, the bad, and even the ugly.  God made me a mother so I could learn how to die to myself every.single.day.  And in a sense, making it all the more for HIS glory and my submission.  Even still, I'd do it all again in a heartbeat, if He asked me to.

Disclaimer:  This was something fun for me to write…. for ME.  If you are taking it personally or making it about you, you have misinterpreted what I was trying to do here.  I’m not sending a message to anyone and not talking about anyone but me and my family.  Okay?  Okay!

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