Interesting timing of your post, Deb. Just yesterday, I was thinking about how I often have to take things away from N as a consequence to choices. Trying to do all that I can to help him be respectful and using self-control, it seems that there are often consequences. Yesterday, as I had to remind him in order keep 'something', he will need to make the wise choice - I thought about how patient and long-suffering God is with me. How would I like having so many ultimatums from God. In a sense they are there as natural consequences - but I certainly don't get my favorite things taken away when I make the poor decisions that I make... It just made me think that while I am trying to help him be respectful and to use self-control, I shouldn't get so frustrated when he keeps making the same poor choices... I just have so much growing to do in this parenting thing...
ugh. This has been on my mind SO much lately. I've been sick and crabby and exhausted and that is NO excuse but we (me) are in a bad cycle and I need to break us out of it. And yet, the boys continue to amaze me with kind, loving moments that remind me what wonderful human beings they are and that I need to do more to foster that. Who knew this was SO hard?!?!
April 09, 2012 8:24 PM
I recently instituted a "Good Choice Jar" for the kids after a suggestion from my girlie Carolyn. Seth and Leah both have one. Cool, right?[Image]
[Image]The idea is that each time he or she makes a good choice, they get a fuzzy ball to put inside. When it's full, they have earned a surprise! In Seth's case, it's the pirate ship he has been wanting for a while. For Leah? Well, a doll, of course. She couldn't possibly have enough of those...
I like the jar because it rewards good behavior. And we talk about it, a lot. Seth declares, "I want to make good decisions!" at the top of his lungs only 38 times a day. (sigh) But on my run today (insert giggling here), I started to think about sin and then my kiddos and raising them to do right, respect their mama, make good choices, and be believers. Hmmmm.....
The decision jar -- at least as it is used in this house -- doesn't quite get at that. Sin is the wrong choice, but it is also the good choice that was left undone. Sharing when we didn't want to. Hugging when someone is sad. Caring when you were too busy to care.
So as I jogged along, I got to thinking about how I'm doing at those things.I didn't like that "discussion."
Impatient much?Check.
Yelling?Yep, that too.
Distracted by things that just don't matter?Ding.
Prioritizing wrong things?Hallo!
Angering your kiddos?Even that, on the bad days.
When I'm messing up DAILY on these things, how can I possibly think my children are going to get it right? And yet, somehow the good is sinking in.
Just this morning, Seth was lecturing me on Leah's hair. (Note that there is no "doing it right" for Leah. Hair = disaster)"Mom, be more gentle." "Go slowly!""Let me do it.""She's crying!!!"
I love Seth's heart for his sister (who he rarely calls Leah, but rather "My Baby Sister.")
Then there is Leah. I picked her up from school today. We had about 20 minutes until Seth was ready so we played at the park. When it was time, we got in the car to go. As we neared Seth's school, Leah was busy chattering away about how I picked her up instead of Debbie (their nanny) and then she proclaimed:
"Mommy, we go pick up MY Seth Cameron?"Ahhh, yes lovie. We are picking up your Seth Cameron.
What does all this mean?I'm not sure, but I think it means I need to be a better parent. Or a different one. I want to teach my children not only what is wrong but kindness, gentleness, self-control, patience, love.....Maybe I need a good decision jar.And no. I'm not kidding.
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Close this window Jump to comment formInteresting timing of your post, Deb. Just yesterday, I was thinking about how I often have to take things away from N as a consequence to choices. Trying to do all that I can to help him be respectful and using self-control, it seems that there are often consequences. Yesterday, as I had to remind him in order keep 'something', he will need to make the wise choice - I thought about how patient and long-suffering God is with me. How would I like having so many ultimatums from God. In a sense they are there as natural consequences - but I certainly don't get my favorite things taken away when I make the poor decisions that I make... It just made me think that while I am trying to help him be respectful and to use self-control, I shouldn't get so frustrated when he keeps making the same poor choices... I just have so much growing to do in this parenting thing...
March 20, 2012 7:24 PM
ugh. This has been on my mind SO much lately. I've been sick and crabby and exhausted and that is NO excuse but we (me) are in a bad cycle and I need to break us out of it. And yet, the boys continue to amaze me with kind, loving moments that remind me what wonderful human beings they are and that I need to do more to foster that.
Who knew this was SO hard?!?!
April 09, 2012 8:24 PM