Remember the encouragement from this weekend's sermon passage (1 Peter 5:-11). Scripture is so great...god is so timely. I'll be praying...
6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, 7 ycasting all your anxieties on him, because zhe cares for you. 8 Be sober-minded; bbe watchful. Your adversary the devil dprowls around elike a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that hthe same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. 10 And iafter you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, jwho has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. 11 To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen
ohhhhh, I could have written this post myself. Yes, why everyone else, why not me. Why do I have to shoulder the weight of the world on my own and make every life/household decision for myself and 3 children without the help, assurance and support of a husband .... Truth is ... I don't know why BUT what I do know and what holds true for you as well is that our CREATOR KNOWS! The God who holds your very heart in HIS hands, who loves you more than any earthly man could dare to ... He knows. He hears your cries, he collects your every tear and longs to calm your every angst ... Yes he hears you, even when you don't say it... he hears you. I used to think that having a husband is a privilege I am not yet worthy of but truth of the matter maybe it is the opposite ... like maybe He (the lover of my soul) wants me all to himself. He knows my attention is divided enough and He just longs for me to set my eyes on Him,cuddle close to him at night when everyone else is asleep, asking him for the answers to all life's questions, relying only in Him, Loving ONLY Him. Perhaps it is really we who are privileged to not have to figure out how to truly LOVE our husband and the lover of our soul. .... hmmmm, I have no idea if that is correct or not but I would like to think so ;) I am praying for you on this new journey as you seek answers from the one who knows your future. Trust yourself to hear HIS voice. You know you know it! You know YOU DO!
I pray for clarity. I felt the same way...adopting little ones with special needs when I can't even walk or raise my arms inches away from my body, when the doctors told me I'd be dead by thirty (I just turned 48), when nobody truly thought I could be a mom...except God. HE made a family in the most unorthodox way in the most unlikely place... and my family is beautiful.
Blessings of hope,
Lisa
June 08, 2010 11:46 PM
I knew it would come. I knew that I was a little bit in la-la land. And this morning, it hit. The freak out. I figured if I was going to write about God’s victories on this blog, I had better write about the challenges I face as well.
I slept good last night – long and without waking up. But when I did wake up, I was agitated. Too many thoughts rummaging around my head and causing doubt, fear and panic. I wonder what in the world I’m thinking with Betty. What if we don’t bond? What if she gets AIDS? What if I can’t afford her medicine during her life? What if she dies? What if Seth doesn’t like her? What if my relationship with Seth changes? What if, what if, what if, what if…..
Then there was the sadness, again. Why am I still single? Wouldn’t this all be easier with a hubby for me and a daddy for my kiddos? What in the world is God thinking? And why not me? So many others, but why not me? I’m tired of this issue. Really tired. Tired of thinking about it, worrying about it, and being saddened by it. And yet, I’d love to bat these issues around with my husband, like so many of my friends get to. I’d love to hear his thoughts, concerns, and worries. His faith and love and support. All of it. I’m ready to not make decisions like whether to adopt Betty by myself. Past ready.
So, the wrestling and waiting and the questioning, confirming, accepting and moving has arrived. I have a few months to make sure I’m sure about this decision and any other adoption related decisions I have to make. I’m just going to pray the decision is clear as the day is long. Bring it, Lord. Your holy clarity. Come Holy Spirit, come.
5 Comments
Close this window Jump to comment formMy friends always say we are just "sitting in the back seat coloring" and letting God drive.
Go grab yourself a new set of crayons, hold on and enjoy the view...
I am continuing to pray for clarity for you and your family.
June 07, 2010 6:09 PM
Remember the encouragement from this weekend's sermon passage (1 Peter 5:-11). Scripture is so great...god is so timely. I'll be praying...
6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, 7 ycasting all your anxieties on him, because zhe cares for you. 8 Be sober-minded; bbe watchful. Your adversary the devil dprowls around elike a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that hthe same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. 10 And iafter you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, jwho has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. 11 To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen
June 07, 2010 7:21 PM
ohhhhh, I could have written this post myself. Yes, why everyone else, why not me. Why do I have to shoulder the weight of the world on my own and make every life/household decision for myself and 3 children without the help, assurance and support of a husband .... Truth is ... I don't know why BUT what I do know and what holds true for you as well is that our CREATOR KNOWS! The God who holds your very heart in HIS hands, who loves you more than any earthly man could dare to ... He knows. He hears your cries, he collects your every tear and longs to calm your every angst ... Yes he hears you, even when you don't say it... he hears you. I used to think that having a husband is a privilege I am not yet worthy of but truth of the matter maybe it is the opposite ... like maybe He (the lover of my soul) wants me all to himself. He knows my attention is divided enough and He just longs for me to set my eyes on Him,cuddle close to him at night when everyone else is asleep, asking him for the answers to all life's questions, relying only in Him, Loving ONLY Him. Perhaps it is really we who are privileged to not have to figure out how to truly LOVE our husband and the lover of our soul. .... hmmmm, I have no idea if that is correct or not but I would like to think so ;) I am praying for you on this new journey as you seek answers from the one who knows your future. Trust yourself to hear HIS voice. You know you know it! You know YOU DO!
June 07, 2010 9:28 PM
Oh I'm with you both on the being single! :) I go through those exact same feelings... often!
June 07, 2010 9:32 PM
I pray for clarity. I felt the same way...adopting little ones with special needs when I can't even walk or raise my arms inches away from my body, when the doctors told me I'd be dead by thirty (I just turned 48), when nobody truly thought I could be a
mom...except God. HE made a family in the most unorthodox way in the most unlikely place... and my family is beautiful.
Blessings of hope,
Lisa
June 08, 2010 11:46 PM