I thought it might be fun to do a little bit of remembering about my journey to Seth. So in this post, journey with me as I remember God's total and complete faithfulness to my call. Praise God!`
In 2006, I started praying about an urging I felt to adopt. I have known from a young age that I wanted to adopt -- my brothers are adopted, God commands it, and it is somewhere in the fabric of my being. I never believed I would do it alone. That wasn't part of my paradigm of thinking. My good friend, mentor and colleague, Z, had adopted her daughter as a single mom and she mentioned to me repeatedly over the years that I should do the same. Um, no. I was "sure" that wasn't in God's plan for me. (Funny how God works over our hearts....)`
So in 2006 when the whisperings started to get louder, I decided to pray about it for a while -- alone. I didn't want the voices, opinions, beliefs and thoughts of my Village to cloud what I was trying to discern. I didn't tell anyone, not even mom. I prayed and read books and searched the Internet and battled some conflicting emotions of my own. In the fall, I decided it was time to let the cat out of the bag and I talked to my family about it. By this time, I believed I was headed down the road to a baby, but I still wasn't 100% sure.`
I remember Christmas 2006 because it was then that my parents started asking the "hard" questions that I needed to consider. (Not that I hadn't asked myself already at that point). We had some good conversations about when and where from and age and race and singleness. The conversations helped me to feel my growing conviction about what I was called to do. But my sister was silent..... hmmm.`
In January, before I even applied, I signed up for a one day workshop on adoption to "try it on" and see how it felt. My friend Laura attended with me which was great for processing later. And I prayed on. Later that month, my sister and I talked, even as I was making personal calls to my friends to tell them the exciting news and get them praying! I respect my big sister so much for the hard things that she asked me during that call. (Look for a post on that down the road). It wasn't easy to hear some of her questions and doubts about my chosen course, but it was a growing time for me and maybe even her. :) `
By March, I was ready to run. I submitted my application to Adoption Link, Oak Park, on March 28, 2007. Yippee! Shortly after that, my home study started with Beth, who was wonderful and made the process easy. I was so stoked that every step went lightening fast. I filled out paperwork they left with me same day and would get it back to them pronto. By June, the home study was done and in July, I got my foster care license from DCFS.`
Then, the wait -- or so I thought. Noreen (birth mother coordinator) started showing my profile to birth mothers in August -- about mid-August as memory serves. At that point, I thought it could be a year until baby came home, but nevertheless, out of an abundance of caution, I informed my firm that I was seeking to adopt. (Good thing....)`In September, Julie, Holt and I headed to my parent's time share in Mexico. I will never forget that trip! Here's a story of God's provision to last a lifetime:`In the years preceding 2006, I dated a guy who I loved very much. And he loved me. But for reasons that aren't important to Seth's story, it didn't work out. It was very painful at the time. Now I call it God's providence. Anyway, this man and I had long since moved on prior to this trip to Mexico, but my heart still sang for him sometimes, in the lonely moments. On September 17, while in Mexico, I got an email from him to my work account (on blackberry) telling me to check my Yahoo! account. And I knew. I knew that he was moving on in a more permanent way and getting married. I quickly dialed my sister in Maryland so she could check my personal account, not available on my blackberry. As she logged in, I told her what she was about to see and she expressed some doubt about it. Um, not so much. Sure enough, "Deb, I'm getting married" was there in his email. (Deep sigh). Okay. I thanked my sister and headed out to the beach on a walk.`I remember crying out to God during that walk. I remember pleading with Him that He had a better plan for my life. I remember asking Him to heal my heart and let "him" go. I remember shedding just a few tears. It was around 10 in the morning when I got the email. Julie and Hold were off on "married time" and I was alone.`After a short walk, I headed back upstairs, determined within myself to send him a congratulatory email and mean it. I popped my blackberry on and was shocked to see an email from Noreen waiting for me. It's too good not to share:`"Deb, Guess what? Grace and her mother, Janet picked you to be the adoptive mom!!! Is this exciting or what???? I will forward this to Beth too!!! Call me . . . . Take Care, Noreen."`Ahh! As soon as I saw the email, the tears started, and they didn't stop. I quickly called Noreen and got the details. Grace (birth mom) was due with a boy (they don't often know the sex) in just six weeks and would I accept the referral?!?!?! I soaked in as much as I could and called my sister. I was hysterical. She answered the phone and I could tell she was immediately worried (because of our last call). That evaporated quickly. "I'M HAVING A BABY!" I shrieked. And we cried together.`Enter Julie and Holt. Literally. As I'm sitting in a heap on the floor of the condo, with my phone to my ear, my blackberry in my hand, and endless streams of tears falling, Julie walked in. The look of terror on her face was priceless (sorry Jules). She ran to me and all I could say was, "He's getting married and I'm having a baby!" Um, what?!? I screamed it again and it sunk in for Julie who immediately started calling me, "Mama." Oh what joy filled my heart and soul.`See, here's the thing. I don't believe in coincidences. Nope. I believe God divinely orchestrated a hard moment followed by the best thing I'd ever experienced in my life to date. God gave me my heart's desire and I sang. Loudly. And for the rest of the week (it was only Monday) we celebrated!! My "last" vacation as a single woman and my first vacation as a mom. Yippee!! Needless to say, I spent a lot of money the rest of the week, calling all of my Village from Mexico to happily tell them in person of my wonderful news. `And a couple of months later, this email went out from me on Thursday morning:`"Hi friends. A bouncing baby boy was born last night, November 14, at 9:47 p.m. He weighed in at 6 pounds 13 ounces and is pleased as punch to be here. :-) If all goes as planned, he comes home on Sunday. I'm thrilled and humbled and too excited to work!! I will send news on Sunday about the name and how stinkin' adorable he is. Love, Deb"`And the rest is history. Except for that he came home Friday because Grace insisted that I take him directly rather than waiting for the 72 hour wait period. Oh how I am eternally grateful for and love Grace and Janet.`Praise Him!! "My soul, my soul, magnifies the Lord, my soul, magnifies the Lord! He has done great things, great things for ME!!!"