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In August, Hyeon-Ju had just returned from spending 2 months in Korea caring for her mother when we received a call from a social worker in Maryland about Marie Yuki.

Marie's mother is from Hyeon-Ju's hometown in Korea.  She passed away suddenly in August just weeks after being diagnosed with esophagus cancer.  Two days before she died, she wrote a will where she expressed a desire that Marie come to our home.  This news was overwhelming at first, as you might imagine.  Our first determination was to immediately fly out to Maryland to help take care of Marie's mother's affairs.  We were not ready to consider the request to take Marie but we were eager to do what we could to help figure out the situation.

We had met Marie a few years earlier when she first came to the United States as we helped her get settled.  Marie is an only child, her father (who was divorced from Marie's mother) is Japanese and living in Japan and hasn't been able to be closely involved in her life.  Marie has an intellectual disability, and although she is almost 17 years old, has been tested with cognitive skills of a 2nd or 3rd grader.  Her disability has contributed to a variety of emotional and behavioral challenges.

Marie has a playful disposition and while saddened by her mom's passing, has not been dwelling on
it and life goes on (whether we are ready for it or not).  When we arrived in Maryland, we spent 3 days working to try to do everything we could...we sold Marie's mother's car in 24 hours, we packed up all of Marie's things and organized other affairs.

After taking possession of her computer and records, we found that NamSuk took a lot of very detailed notes about her situation.  The last year of her life was really sad.  She was depressed, very unhappy with in a second marriage, and then she got cancer.

As we spent a few days with Marie, we felt like we should take legal custody of Marie, at the very least for the short term, until we could figure out what would be best for her.  Putting her into the foster care system with her disabilities (and lack of proficient English skills) seemed too risky for her future.

Getting custody of Marie was a bit stressful and came down literally to the last minute before I was scheduled to fly back to Utah.

When NamSuk died, there was no technical legal guardian for Marie. The Department of Child Services (DCS) was alerted (by the hospital or their church) and they started the process to petition the courts for emergency guardianship.  They found NamSuk's will and had it translated.
Unfortunately, NamSuk's will was not notarized and so they didn't feel like it was enough to give us guardianship.  They recommended that they petition for guardianship and then place Marie with us.  They asked us to come to a court hearing where this would be addressed which we happily agreed to.

What we didn't know, however, is that once the DCS were to take custody, the transfer process to us could take 2-3 months of bureaucracy (since we don't live in Maryland).  During that time, Marie would have to be placed in a foster home.  With Korean as her primary language and with her
disability, this didn't make sense as Hyeon-Ju and I are able and ready to take her.  We didn't learn this until right before the court hearing when we got to chat with the attorneys.  Had we known, we would have worked to claim guardianship ourselves instead of DCS.  But, it was time to go to court and the judge was set to rule on the DCS petition.

There was a court appointed attorney representing Marie who met with Marie for just a few minutes to find out what her wishes were (Marie made it clear she wanted to come with us).  There was an attorney representing DCS and requesting the petition.  We were there to observe and for DCS to show
the judge that the plan would be to work to get Marie to us.

After hearing the details of the case, the judge started to issue and dictate the order granting the DCS their petition.  Then, he suddenly stopped and said (paraphrasing), "This is dumb.  We all know the outcome here and by following the rules, we would be wasting time and tax payer money.  Why doesn't Marie just go with the Han's now!"  The attorneys were scrambling to find words and then the judge took charge.  He called Hyeon-Ju to the stand, put her under oath, questioned her about our home, and upon his satisfaction that we would be decent guardians, granted us immediate guardianship!

It was quite exciting.

So, Marie came home with us.  As we were waiting for the court clerks to produce the legal document for us, Hyeon-Ju and I looked at each other to gut check whether we knew what we were doing.  I said, "When I think about any hesitations I have, they are just selfish in nature.  And that is not a
reason to not do it.”

Hyeon-Ju said, “Me too”.

That touched our hearts and we decided to try our best to help Marie.  The kids were all on board and have been so awesome in their willingness to open up our home and give up a portion of time and attention from their parents.  We feel so blessed.

It has been 3 months since Marie has joined our family and while it has not been an easy adjustment, we love her and she is making progress.

During our time in Maryland, the tears flowed the most when we reflected on NamSuk's misery and sadness.   From her documents, it is clear that the only thing that gave her clarity and focus was thinking about Marie.  We could envision her on her deathbed, knowing Marie would be orphaned, and while still retaining her mental faculties, going over all and every scenario to make sure Marie was cared for.  This was obvious in her detailed notes. And among that clarity and focus, she chose us.  A mother's love is a powerful force.

We hope we can be up to those expectations.  Some days, we think we are while others it is more difficult.  All in all, we are blessed and have much more to be thankful for than to worry about!