they really should have come when there was someone there... when i looked at it i had not once single thought, yours is perfect, why can't i think like this?
Really well done, I like the combination of hinting at ghostly greeters and of noting that no one came to visit when the occupants were alive. Sadly, so often true.
WOW, Gail, you have blown this one outta the water. Excellent poem and I looked at the photo for a wee bit to examine it closely prior to reading your poem and you hit the nail right on the head with this one. I love it, I friggin love it. OOOPs, can I say friggin here :)
Sad but true. So many are guilty of this, including me. I remember in my family the times that people really rallied around was when someone was dying. And I knew they were there in hopes of getting in the will at the last minute. It didn't work. But, seriously, WTH?
My son was killed in a car crash. For some amount of time the crash was not found. If only someone would have come sooner. So many came to his services but all has been forgotten by many. All went home to their homes and have not come around. The journey of grief is lonely only if they would still come. Your words all brings this to mind. It is something how photo or the writers words can be described in many ways to each. Blessings! Lara
February 20, 2013 at 7:06 PM
Magpie Tales presents a wonderful visual writing challenge each week called The Mag. No requirements except keeping it clean and try to visit your fellow participants. Enjoy.
[Image]
Wind of History by Jacek Yerka
Broken marble concrete crumbles
People invade repeatedly
One light shows one car goes
As so many before
Who meets them what greets them
Will be a great surprise
It could have been different
If only people had come
When the occupants were living
They would welcome every one
Now the people visit
Who would never have before
The welcome is not so open
The smiles are not so kind
No refreshments offered
No conversation to pass the time
If only they had come
When the occupants were alive...
36 Comments
Close this window Jump to comment formthey really should have come when there was someone there... when i looked at it i had not once single thought, yours is perfect, why can't i think like this?
February 17, 2013 at 9:45 AM
Really well done, I like the combination of hinting at ghostly greeters and of noting that no one came to visit when the occupants were alive. Sadly, so often true.
February 17, 2013 at 9:57 AM
really good, a sad tale we should all heed
February 17, 2013 at 10:10 AM
I really do love the rhymes here. It flows so easily. Very cool picture too. Something I would like to try with needle felting...someday.
February 17, 2013 at 10:14 AM
This is really cool!
February 17, 2013 at 10:28 AM
Like this.
February 17, 2013 at 10:32 AM
WOW, Gail, you have blown this one outta the water. Excellent poem and I looked at the photo for a wee bit to examine it closely prior to reading your poem and you hit the nail right on the head with this one. I love it, I friggin love it. OOOPs, can I say friggin here :)
February 17, 2013 at 10:46 AM
A great, spooky if only.
February 17, 2013 at 10:46 AM
Your words fit the prompt very well!
February 17, 2013 at 10:57 AM
Some have "the gift" some do not . . . You are in the "gift" category Gail . . .
February 17, 2013 at 11:00 AM
Very well written! I think you captured this one perfectly.
February 17, 2013 at 11:08 AM
It really stirs up much emotion. The end makes one want to turn back the time and go and visit.
February 17, 2013 at 11:08 AM
I should have seen it coming, but the ending still surprised me. "If only" is a common enough human lament.
February 17, 2013 at 11:19 AM
Haunting... just like the pic.
February 17, 2013 at 11:28 AM
Effective!
February 17, 2013 at 11:30 AM
oo rather haunting...makes me think of all those just waiting for someone to come visit them...alone and rather sad...its all too late...
February 17, 2013 at 11:42 AM
this piece made me feel quite sad..x
February 17, 2013 at 12:48 PM
loved this...you're really good at this. Congrats girlfriend. Oma Linda
February 17, 2013 at 12:50 PM
Old building always have this regret - that their glory days are past...
February 17, 2013 at 12:56 PM
I like it , well done ! Have a good day !
February 17, 2013 at 1:31 PM
Sad, but cool.
February 17, 2013 at 2:12 PM
no regrets when one takes time to visit.
February 17, 2013 at 2:22 PM
Heavy and gloomy and I love it!
February 17, 2013 at 4:00 PM
Well said, Gail! Makes you feel like inviting folks over, doesn't it?...:)JP
February 17, 2013 at 4:11 PM
Sad but true. So many are guilty of this, including me. I remember in my family the times that people really rallied around was when someone was dying. And I knew they were there in hopes of getting in the will at the last minute. It didn't work. But, seriously, WTH?
February 17, 2013 at 8:04 PM
Really great job with this one, Gail!
February 17, 2013 at 8:11 PM
It is always wise to visit when invited- I remember showing up way to
late a time or two- no fun! thanks.
February 17, 2013 at 8:29 PM
Unexpected visitors always come at the wrong time!! Ha!
Loved this
Hugs
?SueAnn
February 18, 2013 at 4:29 AM
Utter loneliness ... always so sad. Nice write, Gail!
February 18, 2013 at 11:14 AM
..and so they will pay with a bit of haunting? That's were my mind went and I love it (I always love going on haunted ghost tours in old cities...)
February 18, 2013 at 12:52 PM
Too many if onlys when we don't visit the people we care about.
And all of them make for one very haunted spiritual house.
Loved this.
=)
February 18, 2013 at 2:02 PM
This is so true. Ghosts don't lay down a welcome mat.
February 18, 2013 at 3:25 PM
If only they had come
When the occupants were alive...
If only.. Do not those two words so beautifully sum up life?
February 19, 2013 at 3:39 AM
Such a wise message here!
February 19, 2013 at 3:55 PM
I just hate when that happens! Ah yes, a nice reading and a lesson well learned!
February 19, 2013 at 6:31 PM
My son was killed in a car crash. For some amount of time the crash was not found. If only someone would have come sooner. So many came to his services but all has been forgotten by many. All went home to their homes and have not come around. The journey of grief is lonely only if they would still come. Your words all brings this to mind. It is something how photo or the writers words can be described in many ways to each. Blessings! Lara
February 20, 2013 at 7:06 PM