I know exactly what you are saying here. I loved the way you expressed the details of your walk. "Leaves danced in straight lines" - indeed I can picture that. And, oh, the heating bill IS a worry.
Enjoyed your contribution to Poetry Jam; and I hope that we will see you again!
I LOVE the ending and that is exactly what i would have thought IF i had gone out for a walk on a day like that and as much as i dislike rain and cold, would have had to take my walk indoors
Loved your metal rooster photo! And I also enjoyed going along on your walk. Hope the nice weather returns! I always enjoy meeting new people through their poems. I help with prompts here about once a month and it has been fun to become familiar with the works people post. Welcome and please come again!
I would have to give you a 5 on this. 5 is tops... I used to tell my students a 5 was better than I could do, and your work tops anything I could manage! I like how you are able to bring the reader along on the walk with you. I was there, seeing everything because of your interesting word choice! Love it!
ha. thank you ma'am...cool to see you playing along...its beastly out here this evening...just above freezing and raining so i am glad i got my walk in yesterday....ruffle the tail feathers of a metal rooster...now that is some wind...the cost of heating oil...ack...that i imagine is on the mind of quite a few
Was glad to know you headed back in! The winds shaking the metal tail feathers sounded too cold to even head out!
December 21, 2012 at 3:27 AM
Anonymous said...
especially love the opening lines!
you definitely succeeded in portraying the cold!
thanks for participating at Poetry Jam!
♥ dani
December 21, 2012 at 4:13 AM
[Image]
A Walk To Inspire at Poetry Jam is a challenge I found through a wonderful poet, Brian. I thought I might give it a try. I picked the wrong morning as beautiful days flowed by me this week today I chose to walk.
Winds strong enough to ruffle
Tail feathers on a metal rooster
I walked into the wind
Willing inspiration
I wondered why I picked today
A colder day than any this week
The ground wet with last night's rain
The sand marked with flows past
Leaves danced in straight lines
A chorus line of early winter
Scattered like my thoughts
Over the winter landscape
Inspiration had been my goal
The day chased me indoors
With no thoughts
Except the price of heating fuel.
17 Comments
Close this window Jump to comment formha! your ending is perfect! I enjoyed this walk through your thoughts and landscape, thanks for taking us along.
December 20, 2012 at 12:11 PM
I know exactly what you are saying here. I loved the way you expressed the details of your walk. "Leaves danced in straight lines" - indeed I can picture that. And, oh, the heating bill IS a worry.
Enjoyed your contribution to Poetry Jam; and I hope that we will see you again!
December 20, 2012 at 12:56 PM
Need I say more, I love that metal Rooster though.....Keep Cozy,Francine.
December 20, 2012 at 1:29 PM
I LOVE the ending and that is exactly what i would have thought IF i had gone out for a walk on a day like that and as much as i dislike rain and cold, would have had to take my walk indoors
December 20, 2012 at 1:36 PM
I really enjoyed your poem - you translated the mood and elements wonderfully. Turns out that blustery weather was great inspiration after all!
December 20, 2012 at 1:48 PM
Very well done, Gail. You are a poet, in case you don't know it.
;)
December 20, 2012 at 2:07 PM
Love the metal rooster. You know, it would just look GREAT with my collection of roosters! Hee hee.
Personally, I don't see ANYTHING shaking your tail feathers - wind or otherwise! ;)
December 20, 2012 at 3:14 PM
Loved your metal rooster photo! And I also enjoyed going along on your walk. Hope the nice weather returns! I always enjoy meeting new people through their poems. I help with prompts here about once a month and it has been fun to become familiar with the works people post. Welcome and please come again!
December 20, 2012 at 3:54 PM
Boy, Amen to that!
December 20, 2012 at 5:23 PM
awesome! 'a chorus line of early winter' - brilliant. :)
December 20, 2012 at 5:56 PM
I would have to give you a 5 on this. 5 is tops... I used to tell my students a 5 was better than I could do, and your work tops anything I could manage!
I like how you are able to bring the reader along on the walk with you. I was there, seeing everything because of your interesting word choice! Love it!
December 20, 2012 at 6:50 PM
That "chorus line of early winter" stood out right away! (Danced out, actually!) This is so nicely done.
December 20, 2012 at 7:30 PM
Very reflective Gail . . .
December 20, 2012 at 8:52 PM
ha. thank you ma'am...cool to see you playing along...its beastly out here this evening...just above freezing and raining so i am glad i got my walk in yesterday....ruffle the tail feathers of a metal rooster...now that is some wind...the cost of heating oil...ack...that i imagine is on the mind of quite a few
December 20, 2012 at 9:51 PM
Enjoyed the winter... I loved the ending lines... Nice poem!
December 21, 2012 at 1:32 AM
Was glad to know you headed back in! The winds shaking the metal tail feathers sounded too cold to even head out!
December 21, 2012 at 3:27 AM
especially love the opening lines!
you definitely succeeded in portraying the cold!
thanks for participating at Poetry Jam!
♥
dani
December 21, 2012 at 4:13 AM