This is very well written yet very dark and unraveling. It's more than an attempt at fiction girl...you have a wonderful way with words.
BET: We had rain. Yesterday morn it just barely covered the bottom of the rain gauge and I haven't been out to check it this morn' but the ground is wet and we have puddles. Woohoo!!! Glorious!!!
haunting.....and, from a non-swimmer's point of view, who's afraid of water, very scary.
November 19, 2010 at 8:40 PM
She stood on a high outcropping of the stone quarry that existed before her memories began, admiring the beauty of the water, a peace enveloped her that had been absent for a very long time.
The cliff where she stood was high and the water's depth had been guessed at over a hundred feet. People used to dive and swim here but that, too, was long ago.
The water called to her weakness, promising a release.
She sat, crying into shaking hands while she reviewed her life and saw only emptiness. As the sun dipped below the horizon, she discovered she held no desire for life to continue. There has been love and laughter, but that too, was long ago.
The dark waters beckoned as she slowly walked to the edge, stepping off the cliff as easily as stepping down one step of a long stairwell. She exhaled as much as possible before the water closed over her head, drifting down, she inhaled deeply. Liquid cold filled her lungs with no effort from her to dispel the water.
Her eyes remained open as she slowly sank. Peace, at last, and in her death, she realized she was no longer alone.
10 Comments
Close this window Jump to comment formThis is disturbingly beautiful. Does that make sense? I can't think of another way to describe it.
November 18, 2010 at 5:03 AM
I love it. It's dark, lovely and full of emotion.
Great job.
November 18, 2010 at 6:26 AM
Havin' a bad day girl???
This is very well written yet very dark and unraveling. It's more than an attempt at fiction girl...you have a wonderful way with words.
BET: We had rain. Yesterday morn it just barely covered the bottom of the rain gauge and I haven't been out to check it this morn' but the ground is wet and we have puddles. Woohoo!!! Glorious!!!
Ya have a beautiful day my friend! :o)
November 18, 2010 at 7:30 AM
Fantastic ! I was clued to the end ! Great job ! Have a great day !
November 18, 2010 at 11:50 AM
Ooo...this is dark and disturbing, but perfectly formed. I enjoyed the way you evoked so much emotion and regret. I want to read more!
November 18, 2010 at 2:38 PM
Well I'm glad it's a work of fiction.
November 18, 2010 at 3:17 PM
Great job you have a way of drawing us in! Traci
November 18, 2010 at 8:51 PM
Sad fiction..dark..how about a happy story? :)
November 18, 2010 at 9:15 PM
Gail? It's time we had a good talk.
November 19, 2010 at 3:48 PM
haunting.....and, from a non-swimmer's point of view, who's afraid of water, very scary.
November 19, 2010 at 8:40 PM