Your attempt at fiction was more than just an attempt. Sounds like you were born to write. Enjoyed it. I had a long night too but, fortunately, not like that woman. Blessings
Oh man, I was so sure of the ending....thank goodness for the surprise ending. whew.
Wonderful writing, Gail. You rock!
~Lisa
October 28, 2010 at 4:55 PM
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as the mother rocked the baby in her grandmother's rocking chair, the only real chair in the small cabin. Mustard poultices, hot steam, baked onions...nothing seemed to help...the fever remained along with the death rattling cough of the croup.
She kept adding wood to the fire in the hand laid rock fireplace she and her husband had made when they raised the cabin. And she rocked and rocked, the baby wrapped in the quilt her mother and grandmother had made.
Tears slid quietly down her cheeks as she wished her mother or grandmother were there to tell her what to do to save her baby, her only baby, her precious baby girl.
Her husband had left to bring the nearest neighbor who knew something of doctoring but that was miles away and it would be morning before he returned. For now it was just mother and child, rocking and rocking and praying.
The sounds of the racking coughs tore each fiber of the mother's being, thinking, if only I could take the sickness and let my child be well. The silent tears rolled down the mother's cheeks as she stared into the fireplace... rocking, rocking.
The mother dozed in her exhaustion. A voice woke her, a voice she hadn't heard in years, how could it be? She heard, "Child, I am with you." She looked around the room and saw no one. She must have been dreaming. It was the voice of her grandmother, gone all these years, how could she hear her voice?
Then she noticed something else...there was no coughing from the tiny bundle she held. Oh, God, No, please, no! She frantically removed the quilt and felt the baby's forehead...not hot anymore. She leaned closely and heard the sweetest sound on earth, a baby's breathing as it sleeps. The fever had broken! The worst had passed.
The cabin was quiet. The only sounds were the crackling fire, the baby's peaceful breathing, two women humming and the rocking chair...rocking, rocking, rocking.
15 Comments
Close this window Jump to comment formLove this! I was a little worried which is what I needed to be. Good job.
October 27, 2010 at 7:13 AM
Wow, that was awesome! The description of feelings was right on the money! Very glad for the happy ending!
October 27, 2010 at 7:18 AM
More!!!!
October 27, 2010 at 7:38 AM
Your attempt at fiction was more than just an attempt. Sounds like you were born to write. Enjoyed it. I had a long night too but, fortunately, not like that woman.
Blessings
October 27, 2010 at 8:09 AM
Thanks for the happy ending...plus for gram to be there to help...
October 27, 2010 at 8:52 AM
Very sweet. I was drawn in right away, and needed to read to the end. (I clicked on your blog title from Teresa's blog.)
October 27, 2010 at 9:29 AM
You certainly have the ability to captivate and garner a few tears in the process. Lovely piece. congrats, The Olde Bagg
October 27, 2010 at 10:05 AM
I liked it..keep on keeping on:)
October 27, 2010 at 10:29 AM
Oh ya know how I adore a happy ending!!! Great job girl...a new career ya can do on the side! :o)
God bless and enjoy your day sweetie!!!
October 27, 2010 at 11:00 AM
Wonderful ! You should write books ! Well done, had me in suspence ! Glad for the happy ending ! Have a great day !
October 27, 2010 at 11:23 AM
What a beautiful post! Writing must come easy to you.
October 27, 2010 at 2:09 PM
Gorgeous! Both the picture and the writing
October 27, 2010 at 2:34 PM
a wierd and wonderfully written little tale
well done
x
October 27, 2010 at 4:31 PM
What a great ending! I was sitting up in my chair hoping things would go well. I'm so glad they did.
CD
October 27, 2010 at 9:37 PM
Oh man, I was so sure of the ending....thank goodness for the surprise ending. whew.
Wonderful writing, Gail. You rock!
~Lisa
October 28, 2010 at 4:55 PM