.....and they always try to blame the butler??? ha,ha very well written, dark, mysterious - a few words well spun. Excellent !
April 10, 2012 at 7:32 AM
[Image]
Today, I'm trying something new. The Mag has a creative challenge using this picture as your inspiration.
Here goes nothing.
THE EYES HAUNTED HIM
Everywhere he turned
He didn't want to think of her
But those haunting eyes
Loomed on the horizon of his mind
Constantly,
Continually,
Asking him, why?
She didn't have to die
If she'd only stopped looking
With that piercing gaze
But she looked,
Sadly,
Silently,
As he squeezed her porcelain throat.
He thought her death
Would end it all
Erase her from his mind
No more chocolate eyes,
Pleading,
Placating,
Gone but forever in his mind, the eyes cried, Guilty!
27 Comments
Close this window Jump to comment formNice writing! I loved your alliterative words in each verse. Nifty!
March 4, 2012 at 8:18 AM
Whoa. Whoaaaaaa. That is super great. I love this. Whoa.
No I don't think you're a horse. The whoa is for me to stop and think about what you said. You painted the picture in my mind.
T
March 4, 2012 at 8:25 AM
This one is great. I like the way you have used the alliterations. Well done.
Blessed be.
March 4, 2012 at 8:40 AM
Awesome write! Love it... Felt it...
JJRod'z
March 4, 2012 at 8:47 AM
there is something about the eyes, you might be right, they might be accusing. I haven't made up my mind yet about them.
March 4, 2012 at 8:55 AM
Can't kill the bogey man, eh?
Nicely done! :)
March 4, 2012 at 9:03 AM
ooooh - very haunting! Love your take & perspective.
March 4, 2012 at 9:27 AM
Looming on the horizon of his mind - very thought-provoking. I get the feeling he will be haunted for a long time yet.
March 4, 2012 at 9:38 AM
Wonderful development of your idea! Poe move over, you have competition. Have a good day.
March 4, 2012 at 9:42 AM
Wonderfully dark. I love dark!
obscured
March 4, 2012 at 9:49 AM
Okay by me. Well handled, I think.
March 4, 2012 at 10:02 AM
Bravo, Bravo! Well done Gail!
March 4, 2012 at 10:18 AM
Gail, that was very powerful....quite demensional and I loved the alliterations!
nice work...
March 4, 2012 at 10:28 AM
Delightfully dark and just the right amount of twisted!
=)
March 4, 2012 at 11:22 AM
WOW ! Fantastic , Bravo I loved it well done ! I was mesmerized . Have a great day !
March 4, 2012 at 12:28 PM
Dark indeed, but very good!
March 4, 2012 at 1:28 PM
ugh...and he will see those eyes for the rest of his life...no matter how he tries to erase it...smiles.
March 4, 2012 at 1:36 PM
Interesting--and just a wee bit unnerving... Good job!
March 4, 2012 at 2:54 PM
Well . . . you know what I think!
Creative. Alliterative Intrigue Curious
A Bit of Dark
I think in reading . . . whenever I am drawn in . . . curious, wondering, my mind flying . . . Ya got me at GO!
Like I said, "you know what I think!"
March 4, 2012 at 3:49 PM
Wow, that's pretty damn good and very believable. You can just imagine how his mind worked. You have a great imagination!
March 4, 2012 at 4:22 PM
No who done it here...guilty!
Wander
http://Wanderwithoutbeinglost.blogspot.com
March 4, 2012 at 5:18 PM
Nice write!
March 4, 2012 at 6:56 PM
Clever write!
The second stanza made me giggle - don't know whether it should - I just didn't expect it.
Anna :o]
March 5, 2012 at 2:54 AM
Yet another job well done sweetie!!!
Wonderful write!
God bless ya and have a good one! :o)
March 5, 2012 at 10:04 AM
Intense and captivating write!!!
March 5, 2012 at 2:52 PM
Porcelain throat chocolate eyes...oh yeah...I love your mud all squishy squash between the toes header...
March 6, 2012 at 9:41 AM
.....and they always try to blame the butler??? ha,ha
very well written, dark, mysterious - a few words well spun. Excellent !
April 10, 2012 at 7:32 AM