May I be "mom" for a moment? You have such rich talent you are productive, creative, faithful, a teacher, caretaker, humorist, turn the cheek kind of gal, worker and writer too. (I ache for mother approval too. Maybe the answer is to stop the chain . . .)
If this is a true story, then it's not because she was displeased with you. I believe, it's a parent's job to help mold his/her child into a productive adult. This should have been balanced with praise and love language.
If this is purely fictional, then you've done your job as a storyteller in making me feel for you and want to respond.
I'm with Lynne. You are about as talented as they come. And if this piece is autobiographical, all or in part, you are not the only friend of mine who has suffered due to parental perfectionism.
I wonder if we as parents realize how much we affect our children in that regard?
I hope you remembered to praise your children when they did a job well. If so you broke the chain. Someone has to be the first. We all make mistakes, Gail. I hope you can forgive your Mom and that you forgive yourself too. We all need to do that. xox
I'm wondering how many children feel that way? That's an important lesson... I'm going to let my children know, today, that I am proud of them! Thanks!
...and I could never ever do anything good enough for my father. I'd try to surprise him by shinnin' all his boots and shoes....I'd forget to polish the sole edge.
I'd wash and wax the car...I didn't scrub the white~walls. I know today that's where my perfectionism came from. Tryin' to get a 'good job' outta my dad.
Great story sweetie. If this is true I pray ya had someone in your life to make up the difference there...I had my Mom and grandmothers who praised me to pieces.
God bless ya and have a marvelous day my friend!!! :o)
Gail, I knew we had more than blogging in common. I could have written this myself about my Mom...word for word. I'll bet it made YOU a better mother though, didn't it! cyberhugs, laurel
Oh boy do I know that question. Our mother's must have gone to the same mother-school...but I think her never letting me think I was good enough, was sad, and hurtful, but in the end it has helped push me in ways that are good! Don't you agree?
I had a mother like that. The last straw came when, one Christmas, I was cutting up potatoes in her kitchen. "You're cutting those potatoes all wrong!" and my response, "They're potatoes! If you don't like the way I am doing this, just do it yourself!!!" End of story.
The way your mother was must have been a generational thing because my mom was exactly like that. She would never compliment me on a job well done,she would just tell me what I could do to improve it !! I've talked to several women our age and they say the same thing about their moms. Guess it helped make us the self relient women we are today.Guess we should say thanks but thats hard to do I know ! Blessings for your Sunday Marilyn
It is ever so easy to beat ourselves up seeking acceptance from others. As a mom I strive to ensure my children know how proud of them I am, how special I think they are, however, I see they still seek more. Wonderful Centus.
I think a lot of women feel this way about their mother's. I think my mom did the best she could at the time. I've come to the conclusion it was what it was and there's not much I can do about it. Loved your centus.
I think I would have cut off a finger to hear a word of praise.
This really hit me between the eyes.
Really powerful writing.
May 1, 2012 at 2:51 PM
Ms Jenny at Saturday Centus offers us a writing prompt each week. They are challenging. Many weeks I have to dig deep. This week was easy, a hundred and five exactly. I think I have mother issues. Mother has been long gone but she is still with me, bless her heart.
The prompt this week is: "Why oh why oh why..."
Number of words: 100 PLUS the five words of the prompt for a maximum word count of 105
Style of writing: Query
[Image]
I’ve never felt talented or special. There was always something wrong with everything I did. Didn’t you know how hard I tried? Did I ever come close to making you proud?
I suppose I should thank you for giving me this drive to always be better, ever striving to be the best at whatever I tried to do.
“No job is worth doing if you don’t do it right.” I’ve heard that a thousand times.
Now I am an obsessed adult still trying to please my mother. Mom, why oh why oh why could you never just once say, “Good job. I’m proud of you.”?
19 Comments
Close this window Jump to comment formMay I be "mom" for a moment? You have such rich talent you are productive, creative, faithful, a teacher, caretaker, humorist, turn the cheek kind of gal, worker and writer too.
(I ache for mother approval too. Maybe the answer is to stop the chain . . .)
April 14, 2012 at 8:45 AM
If this is a true story, then it's not because she was displeased with you. I believe, it's a parent's job to help mold his/her child into a productive adult. This should have been balanced with praise and love language.
If this is purely fictional, then you've done your job as a storyteller in making me feel for you and want to respond.
T
April 14, 2012 at 8:59 AM
I'm with Lynne. You are about as talented as they come. And if this piece is autobiographical, all or in part, you are not the only friend of mine who has suffered due to parental perfectionism.
I wonder if we as parents realize how much we affect our children in that regard?
Excellent Centus, Gail. Really top notch.
=)
April 14, 2012 at 9:09 AM
I hope you remembered to praise your children when they did a job well. If so you broke the chain. Someone has to be the first. We all make mistakes, Gail. I hope you can forgive your Mom and that you forgive yourself too. We all need to do that. xox
April 14, 2012 at 9:40 AM
sometimes, with all the baggage we tout around with us, it's a wonder we manage to live at all...
April 14, 2012 at 10:02 AM
I'm wondering how many children feel that way?
That's an important lesson... I'm going to let my children know, today, that I am proud of them! Thanks!
April 14, 2012 at 10:21 AM
...and I could never ever do anything good enough for my father. I'd try to surprise him by shinnin' all his boots and shoes....I'd forget to polish the sole edge.
I'd wash and wax the car...I didn't scrub the white~walls. I know today that's where my perfectionism came from. Tryin' to get a 'good job' outta my dad.
Great story sweetie. If this is true I pray ya had someone in your life to make up the difference there...I had my Mom and grandmothers who praised me to pieces.
God bless ya and have a marvelous day my friend!!! :o)
April 14, 2012 at 11:37 AM
Gail, I knew we had more than blogging in common. I could have written this myself about my Mom...word for word. I'll bet it made YOU a better mother though, didn't it! cyberhugs, laurel
April 14, 2012 at 12:12 PM
I think she's waiting for you to realize it yourself!...:)JP
April 14, 2012 at 4:08 PM
Oh boy do I know that question. Our mother's must have gone to the same mother-school...but I think her never letting me think I was good enough, was sad, and hurtful, but in the end it has helped push me in ways that are good! Don't you agree?
April 14, 2012 at 4:48 PM
I had a mother like that. The last straw came when, one Christmas, I was cutting up potatoes in her kitchen. "You're cutting those potatoes all wrong!" and my response, "They're potatoes! If you don't like the way I am doing this, just do it yourself!!!" End of story.
April 14, 2012 at 5:58 PM
I just nominated you for The Sunshine Award, Gail. You can check it out on my blog. Laurel
April 14, 2012 at 8:22 PM
*hugs* ♥
April 14, 2012 at 8:44 PM
AS a mother, your post reminds me of how improtant it is to validate my children...daily. Thanks!
April 14, 2012 at 8:46 PM
The way your mother was must have been a generational thing because my mom was exactly like that. She would never compliment me on a job well done,she would just tell me what I could do to improve it !!
I've talked to several women our age and they say the same thing about their moms. Guess it helped make us the self relient women we are today.Guess we should say thanks but thats hard to do I know !
Blessings for your Sunday
Marilyn
April 14, 2012 at 8:51 PM
I agree with the other comments, but will say that I see in you so much talent and creativity that I wish I had! :-)
April 14, 2012 at 9:15 PM
It is ever so easy to beat ourselves up seeking acceptance from others. As a mom I strive to ensure my children know how proud of them I am, how special I think they are, however, I see they still seek more. Wonderful Centus.
April 15, 2012 at 7:54 AM
I think a lot of women feel this way about their mother's. I think my mom did the best she could at the time. I've come to the conclusion it was what it was and there's not much I can do about it. Loved your centus.
April 15, 2012 at 8:50 AM
Are we sisters?
I think I would have cut off a finger to hear a word of praise.
This really hit me between the eyes.
Really powerful writing.
May 1, 2012 at 2:51 PM