Post a Comment On: A Nod to Nothing

My mother was worried I'd fall down the steps and into the basement while hobbling to the bathroom.  Especially on the way, as my gimpy left side would be toward the stairs.  And because I fell down at the hospital once.  Although I now contend that Kyle pushed me.  So as part of the construction that went on around here, she commissioned a safety board that looks like something I'd practice hockey with.  If I skated.  Or played hockey.  Or even owned a puck. Wait...I think there might be an RPI puck around here somewhere from my days in college pep band.

The hole is for the cat, Bailey.  Small enough to ensure she can get to her litter box, but the dog can't get to her.  Or the basement.  Where the dog would eat what the cat left.  Nasty.

I haven't had to use the board for safety yet, although it's nice to know it's there because a tumble down the stairs sounds terrifying.  And for a while, it made me paranoid that after my mother turned all the lights out in the evening, she or someone would leave the board tilted the other way with the bulk of it in the middle of my walking path.  I pictured myself slamming into it in the middle of the night and breaking some new bone.  It was a bit cartoonish to see me at 2:00 a.m. with my iPhone on and held out in front of me taking one inch steps toward the bathroom to ensure my safety and occasionally pressing the iPhone button repeatedly to get the light back on.  I'm told there's a flashlight app.  But that just seems unnecessary - despite almost having needed it once in Chicago as I missed a train crash by one train.

The other side of the board is nicely decorated by Eryn with stars and scribbles.  I hope never to be on that side while my limbs are still impeded.
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