Wha....shirshak hee ek umeed ke naam se jagi hai.."Koi to hai.." bahut khoob tarike se ek umeed ki kiran nazar aayee hai iss nazm mein...daad hee daad kabool farmayein..! :) Sirf ek guzarish hai...jahan 'to hai wahaan tho...'h' na lagayein...pronunciation (oocharan) badal jaata hai...try it and you will realize it :)
hey man is this your own composition...it is really good work.....but you must be more aware of people who might lift off your work....why dont u copyright it??
Komal, Thank u. No, I havent thought about copywriting seriously yet. Not sure how to go about that too. Any suggestions?
11 February, 2006 20:48
[Image]
(Original poetry by @kaunquest) वो आखरी गुलाब या के वो अश्क़ का कतरा या अल्विदा का लफ्ज़ दिल तो नहीं जो आजकल सीने में सुलगता है राख से राख तक का सफर तो होगया ख़तम अब किस मज़िल को ढूंढने चले उम्मीदों के साथ ग़म
कोई तो है दीवारोदर में के घर सिसकता है
सोये नहीं वो रात भर में क्या डर सा लगता है
लोग कहते है तेरे कूचे में
आहट सी है.. अजीब सा आलम है
यहां अपना भी है आना जाना
रोके हमें.. कोई तो बताएं.. ये कैसे चर्चे है
फिर आंसुओं में काजल घुला है
ज़ुल्फ़ बिखरे है.. वो सवार रहे है
न हम नज़र में न आईने में
न जाने क्यों नाम अपना है... उस होंठ पे शिकवा है
बस में होता तो बड़के छूते
गले लगाते.. हम कुछ तो कहते
ये दो जहान के फासले मिटाते
हाँ वक़्त का रुख मोड़ देते.. ये आखरी तमन्ना है
Vo aakhrii gulaab yaa ke vo ashq kaa katraa
Yaa alvidaa ka lafz...
Dil to nahin jo aajkal, Seene mein sulagtaa hai...
raakh se raakh tak ka safar to hogayaa khatam
ab kis manzil ko doondne chale, ummeedon ke saath gham
*********************************************************************
Koi to hai, deewaar-o-dar mein, ke ghar sisaktaa hai
Soye nahin, vo raat bhar mein, kyaa Dar sa lagtaa hai
Log kehte hain tere kuuche mein
aahaT sii hai, ajeeb sa aalam hai
Yahaan apnaa bhi hai aana jaana,
roke hamen, koi to bataaye, ye kaise charche hai..
Phir aansuuon mein kaajal ghulaa hai
Zulf bikhre hai, vo savar rahe hai
Na hum nazar mein na aaine mein,
na jaane kyon, naam apnaa hai, us honT pe shikwaa hai
Bas mein hota to baDke chuute
gale lagaate, hum kuch to kehte
ye do jahaan ke faasle mitaate..
haan waqt ka rukh mod dete, ye aakhri tamanna hai...
9 Comments
Close this window Jump to comment formWha....shirshak hee ek umeed ke naam se jagi hai.."Koi to hai.." bahut khoob tarike se ek umeed ki kiran nazar aayee hai iss nazm mein...daad hee daad kabool farmayein..! :)
Sirf ek guzarish hai...jahan 'to hai wahaan tho...'h' na lagayein...pronunciation (oocharan) badal jaata hai...try it and you will realize it :)
Keep writing...
cheers
06 February, 2006 18:33
Dawn, thanks for the comments. I will remember to use 'to' from now on then. Today, I changed a few words on this one..
07 February, 2006 14:13
WOW! And WOW again!
08 February, 2006 03:20
"raakh se raakh tak ka safar tho hogayaa khatham
ab kis manzil ko doondne chale, ummeedon ke saath gham"
Very nice.
08 February, 2006 04:24
wah wah wah
kya likhte hain aap
har sabd mein ek aashiq ki siskiya sunai deti hai.....
Keep writing
Regards
08 February, 2006 04:49
Awesome!
08 February, 2006 14:36
@casablanca - :) Thanks & thanks again! I see that u also do shayari, visited 'Arz Kiya Hai'.
@Mystique - Cheers, that couplet was a later addition yesterday. I felt that the intro was incomplete earlier.
@Neetika - Thank u. Sunaai deti hai jiski dhadkan, hamaara dil ya tumhaara dil hai :)
@Suji, Thank u. Welcome on board.
Folks, all of you are new here (more or less). Feel free to browse through the archives and share your thoughts :)
Thanks again for visiting
08 February, 2006 23:14
hey man is this your own composition...it is really good work.....but you must be more aware of people who might lift off your work....why dont u copyright it??
11 February, 2006 15:12
Komal, Thank u. No, I havent thought about copywriting seriously yet. Not sure how to go about that too. Any suggestions?
11 February, 2006 20:48