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no one should get up at 4 a.m. especially when one couldn't get to bed before midnight. no one should schedule a flight at 6 a.m. no one should ever agree to check two boxes containing an inflatable captain (who turns out to look a lot like a 6 meter tall cigarette with waving arms when activated) on said 6 a.m. flight. (people look at you very askance, and it turns out that not everyone on the flight is checking such an item, despite your attempt to pretend that was the case). no one should drink 4 double lattes and eat half a sandwich and then attempt to download 170 posters from 170 different countries and attempt to post them on a sharepoint-based website from a hotel connection. no one should stay at the hilton in birmingham. if the hilton people had been past the hilton in birmingham, they would have plastered a trump sticker over their hilton sign and run the other way. it's that bad. no one should be subjected to a hotel room without a minibar. no one should expect everyone to care as much as you yourself do. no one should smoke in a hotel room and then give said room to someone who doesn't smoke. no one should take my brand new latte when i'm getting on a plane (and thankfully, today, no one tried. or they would have regretted it.) no one should continuously listen to only political podcasts. (there are not enough pain meds, believe me.) you have been warned.