Post a Comment On: Transplant Athlete

I've had trouble sleeping lately, I blame it on the Prednisone, but I'm on so many medicines who knows...I don't mind it, I do mind what I think about when I can't sleep. In most cases, I'm endlessly going over RAAM 2007 and the decision I made to listen to one of my crew members when he said, "You'll never make the cut-off, Since your race is over, it's best to get a good night's sleep and start fresh in the morning. I'll ride with you through Monument Valley." He also gave me false information to prove his point (If I believe he can't tell time and can't read a cue sheet, then it was an accident). At that point in the race, I couldn't do any math, so I couldn't check for myself. It was a costly mistake, had I disregarded his instructions, I could have made it all the way to Durango with an average speed above 10 mph. I think I would have likely come close to making the cut-off in Kansas, close enough that they would have let me continue. My final tally for RAAM expenses was around $18k, so I feel like that sleep break wasted all that money. I don't want to forget this, but I don't want to be thinking about it all the time either. Maybe I need therapy. The crew member in question is a coach and an ultra runner. Based on how he handled my nutrition and hydration, I'm convinced he was trying to sabotage my event. Against my wishes and orders, he was giving me way more calories than I could process, even an amateur ultra runner would know that it was impossible to replace what I was burning. He wasn't allowing me to have plain water no matter how much I begged. It's pretty sad when you have to beg your crew for water. He took my pre-race plan and completely threw it out the window in Oceanside. Maybe he needs therapy. I haven't decided what my next course of treatment will be for my disease, will I ask friends and family for another kidney or will I go on Dialysis? If I get a new kidney, it could be four years before I can attempt the race again. I don't think it's possible to complete the race on dialysis. The obsession that gripped me for my first two solo attempts is gone. I don't know if I can get that back. Stephen Bugbee had an interesting observation, maybe I've accomplished enough for me. That maybe true. Racing a bicycle from Cali to Kansas is pretty amazing and I'm not ashamed of that (I am ashamed of the DNF in Flagstaff the year before). I missed BikeSebring this year, I'm also missing the Katie Ride tomorrow, and I'll most likely not be able to do any other ultra event this year. I may try to ride to the Transplant Games in Pittsburgh, I don't know if they'll let me compete since my kidney function isn't stable.