People who think they are perfect parents and that there is no way their children ever do anything wrong.
Does anybody know how to put clock radios back together? My daughter has taken them all apart with her plastic screwdriver. I didn't think that those toys could inflict so much damage.
-David Archuleta fans -A surfer who uses a walker -A molester of little bugs -Any man who carrys a "man purse" -A woman whose b.o. smells like moth balls -Any woman who has a fetish for Mr. Met -Any familys that have a long running fued over a game of chutes and ladders -A mailman with a "keep honking I'm reloading" bumper sticker -Any car mechanic who gets mani/pedis -Any oil company executive -A crossing guard who moonlights as a jockey -A busdriver with one of those trachea talk boxes
-Any stevedore who sings show tues -A lighthouse keeper with vertigo -Anyone who worships Grimace -An art museum tourguide who sounds like he sucked in helium -A zookeeper who is afraid of the dark.
- A bishop who beats his bishop. - Anyone who holds an umbrella over their head when it is sunny. - Anyone who has a plunger collection. - Anybody that yells Freebird at any concert that is not Lynyrd Skynyrd (Wait, I do that. Never mind).
-A tugboat captain who plays patty cake on duty -A proctogist whose nickname is "One-eyed Willie" -A marraige counselor named Zsa-Zsa -A dyslexic air traffic controller -A submarine captain with irritable bowel syndrome
- Any waitress who calls me Sweetie. - Anyone who thinks there is a female singer named Judith Priest (Hi Mom). - Anyone who loves the band The Google Dolls (Hi Christine). - Anyone who planned to see Led Zeppelin only to find out it was Lez Zeppelin (Hi Mountain Cat).
Cashiers with picked sores on their hands. Food service workers with a cold or cough, or picked sores on their hands. People that like say like, like all the time. Cigar smokers in public. Non-responders to the salutation, Hello. Along the lines of what Karen said, pepole that say Italian emphasis on the IIIIIIIII. I hear it a lot in Pa.
-Any golddigger with a wooden leg who tries to compete in a professional dance competition -A nuclear psyicist whose favorite musician is Marilyn Manson -Anyone who collects used bubble gum -A surgeon who flunked biology 4 times -Any team mascot that carries a can of Nair with him -A 500 pound judge on a scooter who asks he husband under oath if he did his chores yesterday
A sales clerk with no knowlegde on the product they sell. A movie goer that has already seen the movie and can't shut up about it. Someone that eats with their mouth open. A too slow driver Cell phone users in restuarants.
Men that *wink* and me that don't know me. A mushy handed handshaker. A touch feely stranger. Someone that stands too close. Someone that doesn't wipe their mouth while eating.
-Any sushi chef with a known tropical disease -Any secret agent who looks like Mr. Bean -A psychic on anti-psychotics -A British dentist -Any auto insurance agent who wants to insure Brittney Spears -A priest who hums Hermans Hermits Henry the 8th during his homily
Mumblers, too fast talkers, too slow talkers, too much talkers, pompous talkers, stupid talkers, too smart talkers, too sweet talkers, too low talkers.
well this makes me sad cause that means you can live without me! I have a tattoo under my hair...actually I have 3!!! And I kick some serious ass!
I can live without the people who ask if my tattoos are real. No you douche, I wake up reaaaaal early every day and draw them on. I'm desperately trying to be cool...
(but seriously these are all just jokes trying to be funny anyway. It's a George Carlin thing... a game Mt. Cat and I used to play. We are just inviting others to participate)
Nope... I like that song too however I was trying to think of the perfect song in that instance. The runners up were MMMMbop by Hansen and Brandy by Looking Glass
Speaking about the tattoos under the hair, Mt Cat what don't you like about that? And why do you only have a problem with women's tattoos under the hair? Which section of hair by the way?
-A goat farmer named Bruce Lee -An IT engineer who is Amish -A third base coach nicknamed No-Neck McGruff -A lasic surgeon who got his degree from ITT Tech -A produce clerk who fondles the peaches -A financial advisor who followed KISS on the road for the decade of the 80s
Any woman who get really drunk at a party and yell at the top of voice 'TIN ROOF! RUSTED!'
You are a idiot... ROTFLMFAO !!!!
BWAHAHAHAAHAAAAAAAA - YOU ARE ASKING FOR IT NOW!!
(oh my gosh that is funny)
Ok for those of you (all of you) who weren't there Mt. Cat has a Super Bowl party back in like 1997 where I was hitting on this girl and she was hitting back on me. Then 'Love Shack' came on the radio and the drunk girls were yelling the song out... I was about to change the music and the girl I was hitting on said "no don't change it" and leaned on me grabbing at the CD I wanted to play. I moved my weight the wrong way and turned my body she went flipping over and I knocked her out cold accidentally... gave the poor girl a concussion... Needless to say teh party ended about then.
-A taxi cab driver with no middle fingers -A mortgage broker nicknamed Leap O' Faith -Someone at the gym who works out wearing a cummerbund, bow tie, and Crocs -A flight attendant with "I'm in the mile high club" tattooed on her lower back -A car salesman nicknamed "Shifty"
The guy down the road who places a "STOP" sign in the middle of the road when his kids are playing, but does wheelies down the street on his dirt bike.
-A fried chicken resteraunt that smells like Baby Oil -A parking valet on crutches with a halo brace screwed into his skull -A daycare worker with a diamond uncrusted grille that says 'pay up beoootch' on it -Anyone who has an unhealthy obsession with Tinker Bell -Any woman who flosses her teeth with bailing twine
Plunger Man, Plunger Man. Does whatever a Plunger can. Cleans the shit, Wipes your ass. He does it all,in a flash. Hey theeeerrreee, Here comes the Plunger Man!
Plankton is actually a funny little guy.... he's always trying to scheme evil plans to take over the world. Oh, and to steal the Krusty Krab Secret Formula!
A few times I've been around that track, So it's not just gonna happen like that, Because I ain't Yo Gabba Gaaaabbbaaaa, I ain't Yo Gabba Gaaaabbbaaaa. Ooooh ooh, this my shit, this my shit.
Oh, Mountain Cat, thank you for this post! People I can do without: People who think they know it all, People who think that their children never do anything wrong, Parents who wonder if a teacher is lying about the child saying What the "f#@K" to a teacher People who do not respect the personal space of others and then wonder why a person is defensive. Ahhh, that is my list, and I am done for the week. Thanks, Mt.Cat!
Happy Birthday, Apple!
May 16, 2008 at 4:21 PM
Anonymous said...
Dear Mountain Cat,
Please do everything in your power to get laid this weekend.
MC I think I remember a buck fifty or so way back when. Speaking of bucks we just had 7 deer come thru our front yard. Two pregnant momma's,a baby buck and a few skippers. I took a vid to post tomorrow!
True dat! Hey I do ok with the homely ones but do you really want me to bring one home? Err and have kids with?? (They don't read this blog so I am safe).
May 16, 2008 at 4:48 PM
Anonymous said...
Darling Mountain Cat,
We're not talking about marriage here. We're talking about several consecutive sexual release sessions.
Take off your Plunger Man costume and back slowly away from the adult cartoons. It's not too late.
I don't know where that is and since bringing babies to a bar is frowned upon I have to pass :( Invite me beforehand next time freaks!!! I think the 3 of us would have fun together :)
Micky-T, You crazy! So what's under that blue and white hat of yours? If you take it off will you look like Annikan Skywalkr/Darth Vader at the end of Return of Jedi? Part man, part machine?
And I thought I was doing so good because I avoided the tramp stamp!
May 21, 2008 at 5:17 PM
[Image] That means it is time again for my Top Ten List. So in the grand tradition of Sir George Carlin I give you....
My Top Ten People I Can Do Without:
10. An airline pilot who sounds like Elmer Fudd. 9. Any Italian who prefers the food of The Olive Garden. 8. Anyone who orders a Diet Coke with their Big Mac and large fries. 7. Any man who carries wet naps. 6. A lawyer who answers the phone 'yellow?' 5. A woman with a tattoo under her hair. 4. Any man who calls other people 'yahoos'. 'Gee Dan, that guy is a real yahoo!' 3. A shoe salesman who wears pink socks. 2. A hooker who accepts food stamps.
And the number one person I can do without is:
1. Any member of the clergy that regularly eats at Chuck E. Cheese.
Any other people you can do without?
- The Mountain Cat
posted by The Mountain Cat at 12:00 PM on May 16, 2008
182 Comments
Close this window Jump to comment formLOL...I hate when poeple say "Yellow" on the phone. It makes me crazy. The oher verbal issue that makes me crazy is:
People who say ITLY instead of Italy.
May 16, 2008 at 12:10 PM
I carry wet-naps
:-(
May 16, 2008 at 12:10 PM
Doc, you are a parent so you are excluded.
May 16, 2008 at 12:15 PM
People who think they are perfect parents and that there is no way their children ever do anything wrong.
Does anybody know how to put clock radios back together? My daughter has taken them all apart with her plastic screwdriver. I didn't think that those toys could inflict so much damage.
May 16, 2008 at 12:17 PM
People I can do without:
-David Archuleta fans
-A surfer who uses a walker
-A molester of little bugs
-Any man who carrys a "man purse"
-A woman whose b.o. smells like moth balls
-Any woman who has a fetish for Mr. Met
-Any familys that have a long running fued over a game of chutes and ladders
-A mailman with a "keep honking I'm reloading" bumper sticker
-Any car mechanic who gets mani/pedis
-Any oil company executive
-A crossing guard who moonlights as a jockey
-A busdriver with one of those trachea talk boxes
May 16, 2008 at 12:25 PM
Lady Eli, ha! Sounds like you have your hands full. Thank you for your comment. Hope to hear from you more often.
May 16, 2008 at 12:25 PM
Doc, you are a parent so you are excluded.
No I take them to the speedway... They are awesome... anyway
Hey Lady Eli Welcome back !!!
May 16, 2008 at 12:27 PM
- Any adult who watches Yo Gabba Gabba.
- Anyone who speaks the Klyngon language fluently.
- Any woman that has several volumes of her diary.
May 16, 2008 at 12:31 PM
-Any stevedore who sings show tues
-A lighthouse keeper with vertigo
-Anyone who worships Grimace
-An art museum tourguide who sounds like he sucked in helium
-A zookeeper who is afraid of the dark.
May 16, 2008 at 12:35 PM
- A bishop who beats his bishop.
- Anyone who holds an umbrella over their head when it is sunny.
- Anyone who has a plunger collection.
- Anybody that yells Freebird at any concert that is not Lynyrd Skynyrd (Wait, I do that. Never mind).
May 16, 2008 at 12:41 PM
-Anyone who loves the game Rock Band
(J/K)
May 16, 2008 at 12:43 PM
- Anyone who works at Fatz at gets sexually aroused by that Gaffney Peach Tower.
May 16, 2008 at 12:45 PM
Notre Dame football fans who didn't go to ND and aren't even Catholic.
People who text message, talk on another cell phone, eat a cheeseburger and read the newspaper while they are driving.
May 16, 2008 at 12:47 PM
Any man that does NOT like to rip a good fart!
Women who put makeup on while driving.
Anyone who would floss there teeth with others at the table.
May 16, 2008 at 12:52 PM
Any man that does NOT take a little sniff when he rips a good fart.
May 16, 2008 at 12:54 PM
- People that preach on public transportation.
- Co-workers who insist on showing me pictures of their cat dressed in various outfits.
May 16, 2008 at 12:55 PM
-A tugboat captain who plays patty cake on duty
-A proctogist whose nickname is "One-eyed Willie"
-A marraige counselor named Zsa-Zsa
-A dyslexic air traffic controller
-A submarine captain with irritable bowel syndrome
May 16, 2008 at 12:56 PM
The hooker in Boston who refused me "a good time" because she didn't accept American Express Travelers Checks. [true]
May 16, 2008 at 12:58 PM
Doc is a roll today! Too funny man.
- Any waitress who calls me Sweetie.
- Anyone who thinks there is a female singer named Judith Priest (Hi Mom).
- Anyone who loves the band The Google Dolls (Hi Christine).
- Anyone who planned to see Led Zeppelin only to find out it was Lez Zeppelin (Hi Mountain Cat).
May 16, 2008 at 1:01 PM
Any service person who comes to your place to fix something, and asks you, "Do you have a rag I can use?"
May 16, 2008 at 1:02 PM
ROTFLMAO @ Micky-T!!!!!!
May 16, 2008 at 1:02 PM
Cashiers with picked sores on their hands.
Food service workers with a cold or cough, or picked sores on their hands.
People that like say like, like all the time.
Cigar smokers in public.
Non-responders to the salutation, Hello.
Along the lines of what Karen said, pepole that say Italian emphasis on the IIIIIIIII. I hear it a lot in Pa.
May 16, 2008 at 1:04 PM
Any asshole who thinks I'm an asshole.
May 16, 2008 at 1:05 PM
A snuffaloffagus, get a tissue for Christ sake.
A person with BO or bad breath.
A fatty in spandex.
A display of "camel toes"
May 16, 2008 at 1:11 PM
- Religious zealots who try to be hip by calling the Holy Trinity 'The God Squad'.
- Anyone who mixes whiskey with their Oatmeal.
- Anyone who walks around reciting Coughlin's Law's. Sorry Doc.
May 16, 2008 at 1:12 PM
Men[?] who have really long fingernails.
Women that have really, really long fingernails.
May 16, 2008 at 1:13 PM
- Anyone on St. Patty's Day that spray paints their pets green.
May 16, 2008 at 1:16 PM
-Any golddigger with a wooden leg who tries to compete in a professional dance competition
-A nuclear psyicist whose favorite musician is Marilyn Manson
-Anyone who collects used bubble gum
-A surgeon who flunked biology 4 times
-Any team mascot that carries a can of Nair with him
-A 500 pound judge on a scooter who asks he husband under oath if he did his chores yesterday
May 16, 2008 at 1:17 PM
A sales clerk with no knowlegde on the product they sell.
A movie goer that has already seen the movie and can't shut up about it.
Someone that eats with their mouth open.
A too slow driver
Cell phone users in restuarants.
May 16, 2008 at 1:17 PM
Anyone who walks around reciting Coughlin's Law's. Sorry Doc.
Bury the dead... they stink up the joint.
Dude, Doug Coughlin was the best... He was a 'relative negativist' - FANTASTIC !!
May 16, 2008 at 1:20 PM
People who chew with their mouth open
People who talk with food in their mouths
People who turn their head to cough/sneeze and dont otherwise cover their mouths
Snaggletooth (A chick I used to work with)
Men who take longer to get ready to go out than most women
Men who get their hair done at a SALON
Men who are afraid to get dirty
Most of other peoples kids
People who talk during movies
People who walk too slow in front of me
People who give me dirty looks for going around them when they're walking too slow in front of me
How many are we allowed because I could go on all day?
May 16, 2008 at 1:22 PM
Customers who whistle or snap at their waiter/waitress -- We're not dogs mother fucker.
May 16, 2008 at 1:24 PM
The people who record automated messages
May 16, 2008 at 1:25 PM
People that don't flush and or see the seat is clean before leaving the stall.
People using their hands at a buffet.
May 16, 2008 at 1:26 PM
My mother in law
My father in law
My mother
May 16, 2008 at 1:26 PM
People that can't park straight or take up more than one spot because they think it'll keep people from door dinging them.
I bet they wonder why they have spit on their windshield
MUWAHAHAHA!
May 16, 2008 at 1:27 PM
Men that *wink* and me that don't know me.
A mushy handed handshaker.
A touch feely stranger.
Someone that stands too close.
Someone that doesn't wipe their mouth while eating.
May 16, 2008 at 1:30 PM
People that don't "get" blogging.
Loud breather, eaters, talkers
May 16, 2008 at 1:32 PM
'-David Archuleta fans'
YES!!!
And DA himself!!! Ughh! Where's Gargamel when you need him?
Oh and guys who say 'hey' and do that shooting gesture with thier hands.
People who use the word like outside of actual similies.
Almost everyone in my office, but Evil Dead and Evil Dead Spawn top the list.
Pat Buchanan.
May 16, 2008 at 1:35 PM
-Any sushi chef with a known tropical disease
-Any secret agent who looks like Mr. Bean
-A psychic on anti-psychotics
-A British dentist
-Any auto insurance agent who wants to insure Brittney Spears
-A priest who hums Hermans Hermits Henry the 8th during his homily
May 16, 2008 at 1:36 PM
Can I just say that I love the way 'G' thinks... LOL @ the 'wink and the gun' and BTW - I miss Gargamel.
May 16, 2008 at 1:39 PM
Mumblers, too fast talkers, too slow talkers, too much talkers, pompous talkers, stupid talkers, too smart talkers, too sweet talkers, too low talkers.
May 16, 2008 at 1:40 PM
'Second verse same as the first'
Doc, I have that song on my iPod. Surprised?
May 16, 2008 at 1:45 PM
People that don't drive at least 5mph over the speed limit.
Someone that sniffs their snot instead of blowing.
People that wear clothes that are not flattering to their body type.
Ones that try to play that their lives are perfect.
Parents that think that their child can do no wrong.
Wal-Mart enough said.
May 16, 2008 at 1:47 PM
A porn star named Double Hung.
May 16, 2008 at 1:51 PM
well this makes me sad cause that means you can live without me! I have a tattoo under my hair...actually I have 3!!! And I kick some serious ass!
I can live without the people who ask if my tattoos are real. No you douche, I wake up reaaaaal early every day and draw them on. I'm desperately trying to be cool...
May 16, 2008 at 1:54 PM
Anyone that doesn't understand BOUNDRIES.
May 16, 2008 at 1:58 PM
Hey DPH... Mt. Cat said that... Not me.
(but seriously these are all just jokes trying to be funny anyway. It's a George Carlin thing... a game Mt. Cat and I used to play. We are just inviting others to participate)
May 16, 2008 at 1:59 PM
People who have an shower and an engagement party eventhough they have been living together for 5 years before getting married.
"Friends" who get insulted when their single friends don't want to go to a 4 year old children's party a Chuck E. Cheese.
The lady at the Polish deli who yelled at me this afternoon for speaking in English to my father. Mind Your Own Business.
May 16, 2008 at 2:00 PM
Doc, I have that song on my iPod. Surprised?
Nope... I like that song too however I was trying to think of the perfect song in that instance. The runners up were MMMMbop by Hansen and Brandy by Looking Glass
May 16, 2008 at 2:02 PM
Speaking about the tattoos under the hair, Mt Cat what don't you like about that? And why do you only have a problem with women's tattoos under the hair? Which section of hair by the way?
May 16, 2008 at 2:02 PM
DPH, Doc & Lu',
I just thought it sounded funny. If I offend, my apologies. DPH you can be the exception to my rule ~:)
May 16, 2008 at 2:08 PM
Which section of hair by the way?
oh how I want to post something inappropriate...{}
May 16, 2008 at 2:10 PM
-A goat farmer named Bruce Lee
-An IT engineer who is Amish
-A third base coach nicknamed No-Neck McGruff
-A lasic surgeon who got his degree from ITT Tech
-A produce clerk who fondles the peaches
-A financial advisor who followed KISS on the road for the decade of the 80s
May 16, 2008 at 2:10 PM
Thanks Mt. Cat!!! xoxoxoxo
And you didn't offend...
May 16, 2008 at 2:10 PM
Thanks Mt. Cat!!! xoxoxoxo
And you didn't offend...
May 16, 2008 at 2:10 PM
- Any woman who get really drunk at a party and yell at the top of voice 'TIN ROOF! RUSTED!'
May 16, 2008 at 2:11 PM
HER voice I mean.
A third base coach nicknamed No-Neck McGruff
Hilarious Doc! Did you have these written down for awhile?
May 16, 2008 at 2:13 PM
oh how I want to post something inappropriate...
What? what? :)
May 16, 2008 at 2:15 PM
Any woman who get really drunk at a party and yell at the top of voice 'TIN ROOF! RUSTED!'
You are a idiot... ROTFLMFAO !!!!
BWAHAHAHAAHAAAAAAAA - YOU ARE ASKING FOR IT NOW!!
(oh my gosh that is funny)
Ok for those of you (all of you) who weren't there Mt. Cat has a Super Bowl party back in like 1997 where I was hitting on this girl and she was hitting back on me. Then 'Love Shack' came on the radio and the drunk girls were yelling the song out... I was about to change the music and the girl I was hitting on said "no don't change it" and leaned on me grabbing at the CD I wanted to play. I moved my weight the wrong way and turned my body she went flipping over and I knocked her out cold accidentally... gave the poor girl a concussion... Needless to say teh party ended about then.
We still call her concussion girl.
May 16, 2008 at 2:18 PM
Hilarious Doc! Did you have these written down for awhile?
Nope... Stream of conscious baby, just like the old days!
May 16, 2008 at 2:18 PM
oh how I want to post something inappropriate...
What? what? :)
E-mail me if you want to see what she means and I will send it to you...
May 16, 2008 at 2:19 PM
Doc, I honestly did not remember that Love Shack was playing when we met Concussion Girl. LOL.
May 16, 2008 at 2:20 PM
WHAT You don't remember.... ???
May 16, 2008 at 2:25 PM
I don't remember the song being played. But I believe you! Too funny!
May 16, 2008 at 2:28 PM
Doc, Look it is a sex toy!:
Yo Gabba Gabba
May 16, 2008 at 2:33 PM
My husband is a diabetic so he orders a diet coke with his big mac and fries cuz the sugar in the regular coke would send him into a coma. :P
May 16, 2008 at 2:33 PM
ROFL @ Concussion Girl Story!!!
May 16, 2008 at 2:35 PM
Muno
May 16, 2008 at 2:37 PM
Mt Cat wouldn't that be Yo Hubba Hubba
May 16, 2008 at 2:37 PM
Or a bath salts Yo Rubba Dubba, then again that could be the sex toy LOL
May 16, 2008 at 2:38 PM
-A taxi cab driver with no middle fingers
-A mortgage broker nicknamed Leap O' Faith
-Someone at the gym who works out wearing a cummerbund, bow tie, and Crocs
-A flight attendant with "I'm in the mile high club" tattooed on her lower back
-A car salesman nicknamed "Shifty"
May 16, 2008 at 2:42 PM
- Anyone who owns DVD copies of those Thumb movies.
- A plummer who wears a thong.
- Bill Belichick
May 16, 2008 at 2:46 PM
Talisman,
I'm just having fun. I was being ironic as the word 'diet' should not apply with a Big Mac sandwich. LOL
May 16, 2008 at 2:49 PM
Paula Abdul when speaking
May 16, 2008 at 2:49 PM
Paula Abdul said: 'I thi..I thi..I thi *HICCUP* I think that David Arugula is a ecccsolunt singer Dogg!'
May 16, 2008 at 2:52 PM
Paula Abdul said do I work here? who am I?
May 16, 2008 at 2:56 PM
You know what, Doc...I may listen to John Mayer from time to time, but at least I don't PEE IN MY BED LIKE YOU DO!!!!
May 16, 2008 at 2:58 PM
Leap O... It's just a play on words. Think about it...the mortgage industry "Leap O Faith"
anyway...
AND I DIDN'T PEE IN MT. CATS MOMS BED... (did I ?)
May 16, 2008 at 2:58 PM
How about a Motgage Co named Ndn Gvr
May 16, 2008 at 3:01 PM
LMAO...he literally just told me the same exact thing! You two really do share a brain, huh?!?!?!?
PS - it's all love, Doc! = )
May 16, 2008 at 3:03 PM
Doc, And you peed on my Falco tape!
May 16, 2008 at 3:05 PM
How about a Motgage Co named Ndn Gvr
How about a mortgage co named "Bubl Brst"
May 16, 2008 at 3:07 PM
A mortgage broker nicknamed Leap O' Faith
That's good!!!! We just finished one and it was a leap of faith.
May 16, 2008 at 3:08 PM
AAAAAAH HA!!!!!
So you admit it was Falco and not some 'Bad Ass mix' tape !!
You all are witnesses!
May 16, 2008 at 3:08 PM
How about a mortgage co agent,
Blied U. Drigh
May 16, 2008 at 3:09 PM
Don't turn around, uh-oh
Der Kommissar's in town, uh-oh!
May 16, 2008 at 3:13 PM
That is "after the fire"
May 16, 2008 at 3:15 PM
Yes I know but Falco is the singer, God rest his soul.
May 16, 2008 at 3:19 PM
- People who thinks Oscar was a funny movie.
May 16, 2008 at 3:21 PM
Doc when not wearing Depends.
Sorry... I had to...
May 16, 2008 at 3:22 PM
-Whole New G when she has dirty dreams about mad passionate sweaty sex with Dick Cheney.... It's the dream subconscious
Sorry G I had to...
(You know I am kidding btw.)
May 16, 2008 at 3:29 PM
A Wal Mart cashier who is slower than an Ethiopian Death March.
A cable TV rep whose IQ is lower than my 5 year old's.
A person with a handicap decal that walks for two hours in the mall. (a friend of mine).
The Big Fat Stupid Retard who works here that told me it's hard to recognize people if you don't know them. (REALLY? I never would have guessed)
A police officer who wears a pink shirt and tie when off duty. (yea, I'm lucky enough to know this person, too).
May 16, 2008 at 3:31 PM
Me, during PMS week.
My husband on Scotch.
May 16, 2008 at 3:33 PM
Flo, the Progressive Insurance Lady on crack.
May 16, 2008 at 3:33 PM
The guy down the road who places a "STOP" sign in the middle of the road when his kids are playing, but does wheelies down the street on his dirt bike.
May 16, 2008 at 3:34 PM
Flo, the Progressive Insurance Lady on crack.
I LOVE Flo... she is my new TV girlfriend crush!!
I thought about you when I saw her last night...
May 16, 2008 at 3:35 PM
Bina, You really really REALLY just made me cring with your death march comment.
Hey my cousin works for Progressive. Watch it.
May 16, 2008 at 3:35 PM
I kid you not, last night, my daughter was dancing around and I said, "What are you doing???" She said, "I HAVE A PARTY IN MY TUMMY".
If not for your, I would never have known where that came from.
May 16, 2008 at 3:36 PM
Wooo Hooo 100 comments on a Friday !!
May 16, 2008 at 3:39 PM
I kid you not, last night, my daughter was dancing around and I said, "What are you doing???" She said, "I HAVE A PARTY IN MY TUMMY".
If not for your, I would never have known where that came from.
You know you love me anyway... LOL!
May 16, 2008 at 3:42 PM
People who pull out in front of you really fast, just to go slow.
Rude, mean, stupid people.
People who let their kids run around like little monkies at restaurants.
May 16, 2008 at 3:43 PM
Strangers who look at me like I'm an idiot when I smile and say hi!
The asst. manager at McDonalds who acts like she wants to slap the crap out of you for DARING to order food from there!
May 16, 2008 at 3:45 PM
Any person who feels like they have to be 4 inches from your face and yelling loudly with stank ass breath in order to be heard.
May 16, 2008 at 3:47 PM
Any person who hasn't been trained in the fine art of replacing toilet paper.
May 16, 2008 at 3:49 PM
Did I miss it, or hasn't Heather Mills be mentioned yet????
May 16, 2008 at 3:49 PM
Okay, I'm taking over the comments. I'll stop now. But there are just SO many people I can live without.
But not you Doc!!!!!!
May 16, 2008 at 3:50 PM
-A fried chicken resteraunt that smells like Baby Oil
-A parking valet on crutches with a halo brace screwed into his skull
-A daycare worker with a diamond uncrusted grille that says 'pay up beoootch' on it
-Anyone who has an unhealthy obsession with Tinker Bell
-Any woman who flosses her teeth with bailing twine
May 16, 2008 at 3:50 PM
Bina how much time you putting in at Peachfest?
May 16, 2008 at 3:52 PM
I am Plunger Man!
May 16, 2008 at 3:54 PM
Doc she'll be good for 50 an hour!
Telling ya, if we try we can do a1000!
May 16, 2008 at 3:55 PM
Bina how much time you putting in at Peachfest?
I hope a LOT!!! Bina is awesome in multiple comment spewing... It's great! She is in the same league as the triplets (L, L, & A)
May 16, 2008 at 3:55 PM
Plunger Man, Oh Plunger Man, What's the monkey wrench for, Oh Plunger Man?
May 16, 2008 at 3:57 PM
Oh my gosh I am cracking up going back and reading all the comments. :p
You people are FUNNY!
May 16, 2008 at 3:58 PM
Plunger Man, Plunger Man.
Does whatever a Plunger can.
Cleans the shit,
Wipes your ass.
He does it all,in a flash.
Hey theeeerrreee,
Here comes the Plunger Man!
May 16, 2008 at 4:01 PM
Plunger Man, plunger man... spends his days in a Sani-Can!
May 16, 2008 at 4:02 PM
I can do with out asshats that put up cool posts and then take them down
LU!!
:p
May 16, 2008 at 4:05 PM
I can do without Spongebob Squarepants!
My kids say I'm "Plankton" because I'm mean MUWAHAHAHA!
May 16, 2008 at 4:07 PM
I can do without people knocking on my door.... ever.
May 16, 2008 at 4:08 PM
Getting called Plankton, doesn't sound complimentary. LOL
May 16, 2008 at 4:08 PM
The people who blow the train horns at the John Deere plant next to my house....
The jackass that called 911 which led to the fire engine blasting by my house AT NAPTIME today!
May 16, 2008 at 4:08 PM
Would have responded earlier - but I was too busy retching.
Ok - "A fried chicken resteraunt that smells like Baby Oil" is just wrong, but sooooo funny!
- sloppy drunks in sparkling spandex
- everyone else on the road when I am
- anyone (Doc) who thinks Bill O'Reilly's sexy
May 16, 2008 at 4:09 PM
Plankton is actually a funny little guy.... he's always trying to scheme evil plans to take over the world. Oh, and to steal the Krusty Krab Secret Formula!
May 16, 2008 at 4:09 PM
Zombies
May 16, 2008 at 4:11 PM
the people who decided that MTV should produce reality shows.... or any other show for that matter
May 16, 2008 at 4:13 PM
A few times I've been around that track,
So it's not just gonna happen like that,
Because I ain't Yo Gabba Gaaaabbbaaaa,
I ain't Yo Gabba Gaaaabbbaaaa.
Ooooh ooh, this my shit, this my shit.
May 16, 2008 at 4:15 PM
Oh, Mountain Cat, thank you for this post!
People I can do without:
People who think they know it all,
People who think that their children never do anything wrong,
Parents who wonder if a teacher is lying about the child saying What the "f#@K" to a teacher
People who do not respect the personal space of others and then wonder why a person is defensive.
Ahhh, that is my list, and I am done for the week. Thanks, Mt.Cat!
Happy Birthday, Apple!
May 16, 2008 at 4:21 PM
Dear Mountain Cat,
Please do everything in your power to get laid this weekend.
Yours Truly
May 16, 2008 at 4:22 PM
Oh, I'll be putting out plenty on Tuesday! Virtually, that is!!!! LOL
May 16, 2008 at 4:25 PM
LOVE the plunger man song!!!!! Ha Ha Ha!
May 16, 2008 at 4:27 PM
Patrick's Mom, How've you been girl? It's been a while. Thanks!
Anonymous (Pat), That is a not problem. I just want quality over quantity!
May 16, 2008 at 4:27 PM
Doc, what is our current record for number of comments on one post?
May 16, 2008 at 4:30 PM
My Dearest Mountain Cat,
Forget the quality girls. Save your money and go for the homely. They're more eager and willing than you realize.
Yours Truly
P.S. Don't call me Pat.
May 16, 2008 at 4:37 PM
anyone (Doc) who thinks Bill O'Reilly's sexy
**Barf**
You are soo wrong G...
BTW - this is Doc on Patrick's Mommy's computer
May 16, 2008 at 4:43 PM
MC I think I remember a buck fifty or so way back when.
Speaking of bucks we just had 7 deer come thru our front yard. Two pregnant momma's,a baby buck and a few skippers.
I took a vid to post tomorrow!
May 16, 2008 at 4:46 PM
Yours Truly,
True dat! Hey I do ok with the homely ones but do you really want me to bring one home? Err and have kids with?? (They don't read this blog so I am safe).
May 16, 2008 at 4:48 PM
Darling Mountain Cat,
We're not talking about marriage here. We're talking about several consecutive sexual release sessions.
Take off your Plunger Man costume and back slowly away from the adult cartoons. It's not too late.
Yours Truly
May 16, 2008 at 4:52 PM
The record might be 145... I am still checking
Doc
May 16, 2008 at 4:53 PM
Leighann,
oh I'd, but I would just, and then people would, forget it...
I guess I'm just gonna put on my asshat and go.
hee hee hee
May 16, 2008 at 5:03 PM
Hey Your Truly, It is all your fault ever since you tried to set me up with that short skirt chick who was at your birthday party.
May 16, 2008 at 5:08 PM
Deeyam! You bitches have been busy! Don't you have jobs or kids to carry screaming to the dr. like me?? I need a xanax and BIG FUCKING DRINK!!!!!!!!!!
May 16, 2008 at 5:11 PM
Mountain Cat, Sweetie, Pumpkin,
You must have me mistaken with someone else. I do however know of someone I'd like to set you up with. You posted his picture. He likes candy.
Yours Truly
May 16, 2008 at 5:11 PM
Your Truly, Nah. I'm too fast for him.
3 more comments for the record!
May 16, 2008 at 5:16 PM
That's easy!
YJKOBT is a very fun place to hang out, don't you think?
May 16, 2008 at 5:19 PM
Oh shoot I just tied the record. Damn. Need two more, not me.
May 16, 2008 at 5:22 PM
LOL... This record isn't gonna last very long.
Ok I am outta here... Going to apple's b-day "party"
May 16, 2008 at 5:22 PM
I wanted it...I wanted it!!!
Boo hoo...
LOL!
May 16, 2008 at 5:23 PM
I can live without the kind of people who would tell us bloggers "To get a life"
May 16, 2008 at 5:24 PM
I wanna go to Apple's party!! Booohoooo!!!
May 16, 2008 at 5:24 PM
I win!
May 16, 2008 at 5:24 PM
ROTFL @ Leap O
Paging Jahooni...
May 16, 2008 at 5:25 PM
I want cake!!!!!!!!!!!
Happy birthday AAAAP
May 16, 2008 at 5:25 PM
If you can make it to afton village in an hour come on... you are invited. We will be at the Wine room.
May 16, 2008 at 5:26 PM
Fuck Peachfest! Lets get 500 comments now!
May 16, 2008 at 5:27 PM
The 'wine room', huh? Sounds like fun!! We already have our own version goin' on here...lil' during, I mean after work cocktails! LOL!
Have fun...and Happy Birthday, AAAAP!!
May 16, 2008 at 5:28 PM
Yeah! Plungerfest
Nah! On second thought, I'm outta here!
Later!
May 16, 2008 at 5:29 PM
We're on our way, TMC! You and I can just sit here and type instead of talking...we'll get there soon enough!
what happens if we break 500 before PeachFest?? Will we have to do 1000, then???
May 16, 2008 at 5:29 PM
What exactly is 'Plungerfest', Mick??
May 16, 2008 at 5:30 PM
Plungerfest! BAWWWWWWWWAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!
I think they have a plungerfest every night somewhere in West Greenwich Village. I think I will pass....LOL
May 16, 2008 at 5:31 PM
OK!..... we could do 200!
May 16, 2008 at 5:31 PM
LMAOROTF, Mt. Cat...I'm really gonna pee my pants!!
May 16, 2008 at 5:32 PM
Plungerpalooza!
May 16, 2008 at 5:32 PM
I'm not sure, it has something to do with a monkey wrench.
May 16, 2008 at 5:32 PM
I don't know where that is and since bringing babies to a bar is frowned upon I have to pass :( Invite me beforehand next time freaks!!! I think the 3 of us would have fun together :)
May 16, 2008 at 5:33 PM
I knew it started in NY somewhere!
LOL
May 16, 2008 at 5:33 PM
Yo Gabba Gabbapaloozafest. We'll give away free electric Muno plastic dolls to the first 500 women who post.
May 16, 2008 at 5:34 PM
Abbag Abbag Oy
May 16, 2008 at 5:37 PM
Hmmm...a monkey wrench, huh?? A little wine and my brain is working O/T!!
May 16, 2008 at 5:37 PM
OK! really going now,
yack wit ya tmorra.
May 16, 2008 at 5:38 PM
Micky-T, You crazy! So what's under that blue and white hat of yours? If you take it off will you look like Annikan Skywalkr/Darth Vader at the end of Return of Jedi? Part man, part machine?
May 16, 2008 at 5:41 PM
Goodnight all...my baby is demanding attention by trying to cut off the computer...she is wicked smart!
May 16, 2008 at 5:43 PM
I just KNOW there's a hottie under that hat...!!
May 16, 2008 at 5:43 PM
A feat of engineering you couldn't possibly imagine!
May 16, 2008 at 5:45 PM
The Bionic Boatmaster??
May 16, 2008 at 5:47 PM
Night Merry
I miss saying, wicked good!
That is a Beantown thang!
May 16, 2008 at 5:48 PM
Wish my fuckin left arm was bionic cuzz it's still broke! I can barely hold a twelve pack!
May 16, 2008 at 5:50 PM
Micky-T, what the hell happened????
I am out of here. New post on auto timer in 10 minutes. Have a great weekend!
May 16, 2008 at 5:57 PM
You too Bud!
May 16, 2008 at 5:58 PM
Thanks for all the funnies guys! I wish you all could have been at my party!
May 16, 2008 at 11:54 PM
Doc--you weren't referring to me with that "anyone who has an unhealthy Tinkerbell obsession" were you?
May 17, 2008 at 3:00 PM
Doc--you weren't referring to me with that "anyone who has an unhealthy Tinkerbell obsession" were you?
Well who else do I know who wants Tinkerbell floormats huh?
-Doc (on mommy's computer)
May 18, 2008 at 3:09 PM
I have to admit, I have the hairline tattoo (on the back of my neck, right below the hairline).
http://ginormousboobs.blogspot.com/2008/03/my-new-ink.html
And I thought I was doing so good because I avoided the tramp stamp!
May 21, 2008 at 5:17 PM