One question. When you say these blunt things which affect your closer friends, does it really push them away or do they just get hurt and then come back to you?
Some of the most rewarding friendships are those where you trust each other enough to be able to say blunt things to each other (although you normally aim to say things gently and in a loving way) and know that the other person won't run away as a result of it. You know that they will stick by you no matter what (kinda).
But what about the things which lead up to this stage of friendship? Can you irritate people during that period of time? Well, I don't know the real answer to that (may vary from person to person) but just focus on trying to gently speak the truth in love (ie. in a loving manner, loving timing, loving motive) and see if they will come back to you for more.
7:03 pm
I have discovered why I don't have even a few close friends.. I think it is because whenever I do have friends who become slightly close and when I am concerned for them and make the move to say something, however way I say it, sometimes I may be slightly insensitive in my expression because I haven't thought enough of it, or I might be thinking about it too much in one instant and initiating because of adrenaline/impulsive thinking?, or even if I try hard to be sensitive it turns out wrong and I end up hurt.. I try to be nice and I end up getting hurt over small things friends say to me.. Or maybe it's just that I haven't had friends who "speak the truth/rebuke" me unconciously in a long time.. Maybe people do sense that I am sensitive when it comes to those type of things and therefore find it hard to tell me when something is wrong, but I rather they tell me earlier in order to not experience the explosion of emotion that is suppressed.. I do sense it even though people may try to keep it under control.. their facial expressions, the way they say it to someone else and it is said back to me.. it scares me for that moment, and I dwell on it for a period of time and then it slowly leaves me... but it will always linger in the back of my mind..
So what is it? I am trying too hard to make friends, so I push them away and hurt them and myself,.. is that it? Or I just simply cannot make those kinds of friends because I have not had experiences in early adolescence to teach me How to? Or because I see the pain that can be caused between friends that are close..and I am scared to experience it... I can see a theory in this though that relates to a quote "it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all" -- can apply to friendship... having good friends may cause pain but you also receive special "attention" from them.. But sometimes I am just too scared something will happen that will destroy instead of strengthen friendship...
"Too close for comfort..."
1 Comment -
One question. When you say these blunt things which affect your closer friends, does it really push them away or do they just get hurt and then come back to you?
Some of the most rewarding friendships are those where you trust each other enough to be able to say blunt things to each other (although you normally aim to say things gently and in a loving way) and know that the other person won't run away as a result of it. You know that they will stick by you no matter what (kinda).
But what about the things which lead up to this stage of friendship? Can you irritate people during that period of time? Well, I don't know the real answer to that (may vary from person to person) but just focus on trying to gently speak the truth in love (ie. in a loving manner, loving timing, loving motive) and see if they will come back to you for more.
7:03 pm