I have started the Personal Progress program over again because I found I was lacking in my own personal progress. I have a number of goals and things I want to accomplish but just had not put them into action. I started the program over again this month. It is now open to all women in the church 12 years and over. Also, it's hard for me as a teacher to motivate the young women on the importance of the program and not making it part of a checklist when you're finished, if I myself am not actively involved. And so I have become actively involved in the program again. And I'm loving it! My goal is to finish the whole program again by the end of this year. I'm off to a good start, so we shall see. I hope I can also encourage the girls in my class to be motivated to finish theirs or to move on to the honor bee. And one of the coolest things - you can track your progress online now - you don't even need a personal progress book. Awesome!

I found after the deaths in the family last year that I was sinking into depression. I started gaining weight again and am back to unhealthy. I know I'm supposed to be happy for those who have passed on because this isn't the end and I'll see them again. But I miss them terribly and their loved ones are still suffering on this side. It's not as easy to get through as people think. I also felt guilty because I know the gospel - I have a very strong testimony - I know my dad is around because I feel him around on occasion - and I know he's happy. But I still get really sad sometimes. It is getting better with the passing of time, but every now and then reality hits and I realize he really is gone and I won't be seeing or speaking with him again for a long time. I still worry about my brother and his wife all the time too because of their losses. I'm sure time is healing them as well but time only softens it doesn't stop the pain.

Anyway, I've realized I really need to get out of that sadness and move on because I know my dad would want me to and so does my Heavenly Father. And so I have started. I love feeling closer to Heavenly Father, studying the scriptures, doing more with my family. It is what makes me the happiest. I still have my days, but they are getting fewer and fewer and I'm finding I laugh a lot more often than I used to. Things are looking up.