I walked into work today and just about fell over my boss, who was lying on the floor, flat on his back, eyes closed.

"If I pass out," he said, "call an ambulance. But for God's sake don't tell my wife. If I don't die of this, she'll kill me."

Ten minutes later, Dave walked in and stopped, eyeing the body on the floor suspiciously.

"Boss is dead," I reported.

"Did you do it?" he asked.

"To the victor the spoils," I said, posing against a majestic mountain backdrop. "I'm in charge now."

"OI," said a voice from the floor.