"Get up."
Me: "I can't open my eyes."
"Look, I know you're tired, but you have to get up."
Me: "No, I can't open my eyes."

That was then, this is now. So I have my eyes open, but I just sneezed seven times (doh, one short) and I look like my boyfriend just broke up with me (i.e. I've been crying for the past six hours).

Antihistamines. Stat. Don't want to give people the wrong idea.