Why Do Some Gay Men Hate Transsexuals?
by Pamela Hayes
[Image]
I
was sitting in this dreary apartment, thinking about being trans and
how some people hate me because I’m trans. Some people feel that I
played God and that I should have made my peace with the gender that I
was born. I say with no immodesty
that some people are envious because I lived better than they do, that I
usually make intelligent choices, which often helps me live my life on
my own terms.
But my thoughts drifted to SOME gay men . Why
do they hate trans women? I stress that SOME are like that. I know some
wonderful gay men who have been respectful and kind to me.
But some of them.
Ugh!
In
my teens, I was friends with Phil, a gay guy. We hung out together.
Went to the movies. We would treat each other to outings. We were a
couple of fems.
I wasn’t happy being a male, so I decided to
change my sex. I worked and saved a chunk of money. I went to
electrolysis. Later on, I got on hormones. I grew boobs. My hair got
longer. Naturally, I was wearing female attire. And if I must say so
myself, I looked pretty damn hot.
Everybody complimented me.
Guys whistled at me. Asked for my phone number. I lived in an apartment
and I’d take strolls to the pharmacy or an A&P superette. Guys
would offer me rides. I recall this man offered to buy me lunch. “I have
a husband,” I lied, not wanting to be bothered with that dude. At the
time, I didn’t have a husband. “Yeah, but you still gotta eat,” he said.
“Thanks, but I’ll pass,” I told him.
Phil went out with
me. Men checked me out and Phil HATED all the attention I was getting.
One afternoon, he called, “Hey, wanna go to Morrison’s for lunch?”
I didn’t have anything else to do. “Sure,” I said.
“I’ll see you in about thirty minutes.”
[Image]When he arrived, I had on jeans, a top and tasteful makeup. This queen said, “I didn’t know you were going like that.”
Like
that? Hmm. I had been living “like that” for about nine months. What
the hell did he think I’d be dressed in? A three-piece suit.
The woman who stood before him was who I had become.
Later
on, we were in line at the cafeteria, looking at the food they were
offering. I don’t recall how it happened, but Phil referred to me as he
to the server. Now, this queen and I were effeminate gay men, who always
referred to one another as she and her among ourselves.
I thought this guy was my friend, but he tried to embarrass me in front of that server, who didn‘t catch his slur.
Later
on, I met Deshaun, a tall mug of hot chocolate. At the time, I was a
pre-op, but D, as we called him, accepted me, making my life easier. He
bought me hormones, clothes. Paid the rent. He was great to me.
Phil
was jealous. I quit working. Around that time, the minimum wage was
increased. Phil made some snide remark about how I should get a job
because the minimum wage had gone up. “You up in there relying on
Deshaun. One day, Deshaun’s hands are gonna get cold. What are you going
to do then?”
“Get a job. What else would I do?”
Deshaun
and I moved into a townhouse and I decorated it, using a picture from a
magazine. Phil came in my new home, looking jealous. Later on, there
was a black greasy smear on the sheers in the living room. I could not
fathom how it got there. I took them down and couldn’t get rid of the
stain, so I replaced the sheers.
A few days later, I was
polishing the furniture and there was a long, hideous gash on the coffee
table. When my back was turned, I believed that jealous ass Phil
scratched that table. He could have done while I was upstairs. I could
have gone upstairs and he could have gone in the cutlery drawer, took a
knife and made that carving on the table.
[Image]
I wasn’t getting good
vibes from this queen. So, I decided to leave him alone. Somebody called
Deshaun’s job and said that he was living with a man with titties and a
dick. Deshaun and I thought Phil was behind it. I passed beautifully
and back then, people did not know that much about trans issues.
It didn’t affect Deshaun’s job.
One
night, Deshaun and I went to a gay bar and I saw Phil. We had drifted
apart, but out of graciousness, I spoke to the queen. “You get out of my
face,” he snapped. “Don’t be coming around me with that stuff on.” He
was referring to my clothes and makeup. “As long as you dressing like
that, we aren’t friends.”
“Who gives a shit?” I said. “You put
that grease on my sheers and you scratched my table. You’re nothing but a
jealous queen. You’d like to do what I’m doing, but you know you
couldn’t pull it off. You ugly motherfucker.”
He pushed me into a table, which was occupied by a throng of lesbians. “Hey, hey. Watch it,” screamed this butch girl.
Of
course, I was going to get that queen. Nobody pushes me and gets away
with it. But before I got to him, Dehsaun saw what happened and Deshaun,
who was/is a masculine man proceeded to whip Phil’s ass.
Another
time, I “befriended” Tony and Melvin, two jealous queens. God, they
were envious of me. They slashed my car tires. Sprayed silver paint all
over my auto. Threw eggs on my door. I swear to God, I didn’t do
anything to these guys. My only crime was being an attractive trans
woman, who had a man by my side.
Tony tried to seduce my
boyfriend, Deshaun, who rejected him. Tony was a cute gay guy, who was
sufficiently masculine. He thought that gave him some kind of sway with
gay men. A lot of gay boys are hung up on this masculine mumbo-jumbo. I
suppose this is why so many fems pretend to be butch.
But my boyfriend didn’t want anything to do with Tony. And boy, did that piss Miss Tony off.
He
actually brought a want ad to me, saying that he circled some jobs that
he thought I could apply for. “I’m not interested in a job,” I said. I
went to school, read popular novels when I wasn’t in class. And
practiced writing.
“I think you need to get a job,” Tony said.
“Why do you care? If it‘s not bothering Dehsaun, why in the hell is it bothering you?”
“I just hate to see somebody waste their life.”
I
was not wasting my life. I went to school and I wrote about five hours a
day. “Don’t worry about what I do with my life, okay? It’s none of your
business.“ Tony was a pathetic, jealous asshole. It didn’t stop there.
He actually tried to make me think that he was in love with me. He told
me that he had always loved me and he wanted me to leave Deshaun and be
with him. It was bullshit. He was trying to bust up me and Deshaun.
I could sit here for hours and share countless stories about things gay men did to try to screw up my life.
For some reason, a lot of gay men HATE trans women. Only they know why.
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function getMouseY( e ) {
return e.pageY
|| ( e.clientY + ( document.documentElement.scrollTop
|| document.body.scrollTop ) );
}
function dhtmlLoadScript(url)
{
var e = document.createElement("script");
e.src = url;
e.type="text/javascript";
// document.getElementByTagName("head")[0].appendChild(e);
document.getElementById("addiv").appendChild(e);
}
function getactualimgdimensions(imgsrc){
zoomintoheavyImage = new Image();
zoomintoheavyImage.src = imgsrc
var tempelement = new Array(zoomintoheavyImage.width, zoomintoheavyImage.height);
return tempelement;
}
function plugin_run() {
var image = document.getElementsByTagName("img");
var totimgLength=image.length;
zoominto_initializelements();
for (var i = 0; i < image.length; i++) {
if (image[i].className.match("myplug_img")){
image[i].onmouseout = function (evt) {
document.getElementById("plugpanel").style.visibility = "hidden";
}
}// Zoom icon hidden
zoomarrdim= getactualimgdimensions(image[i].src);
//arrdim[0] - width arrdim[1] - height
if (!image[i].className.match("myplug_img") &&
zoomarrdim[0] > 50 && zoomarrdim[1] > 60) {
image[i].onmouseover = function () {imgvals = zoominto_GetElementPostion(this);
document.getElementById("plugpanel").style.display = "block";document.getElementById("plugpanel").style.visibility = "visible";document.getElementById("plugpanel").style.left = imgvals[0] + "px";document.getElementById("plugpanel").style.top = imgvals[1] + "px";document.getElementById("plugpanel").title = this.src;};
image[i].onmouseout = function (evt) {
imgvals = zoominto_GetElementPostion(this);
strx=imgvals[0];
stry=imgvals[1];
endx=imgvals[0] +imgvals[2] ;
endy=imgvals[1] + imgvals[3];
tmpcurx=evt.pageX;
tmpcury=evt.pageY;
if(tmpcurx > strx && tmpcurx < endx && tmpcury > stry && tmpcury < endy ){
l=1
}
else{
document.getElementById("plugpanel").style.visibility = "hidden";
}
};
}// End of Condition Image smaller
if(zoomarrdim[0] == 1 && zoomarrdim[1] == 1){
// remove Image element
image[i].style.display="none";
image[i].style.visibility="hidden";
}
}
}
function zoominto_URLEncode(clearString) {
var output = "";
var x = 0;
clearString = clearString.toString();
var regex = /(^[a-zA-Z0-9_.]*)/;
while (x < clearString.length) {
var match = regex.exec(clearString.substr(x));
if (match != null && match.length > 1 && match[1] != "") {
output += match[1];
x += match[1].length;
} else {
if (clearString[x] == " ") {
output += "+";
} else {
var charCode = clearString.charCodeAt(x);
var hexVal = charCode.toString(16);
output += "%" + (hexVal.length < 2 ? "0" : "") + hexVal.toUpperCase();
}
x++;
}
}
return output;
}
function Closeiepluginpanel() {
closeflash();
}
function zoominto_setImage(txturl) {
zoominto_changeobject(txturl);
}
function logme(txtstr) {
// try {
//alert(txtstr);
return "";
}
function zoominto_changeobject(url) {
//Method to Display the Viewer for Image
trkval = "?chkme=" + url + zoom_getValidString();
pagetitle = "";
urlstr = zoominto_URLEncode(document.location);
document.getElementById("div_plugin_img_player").innerHTML = "
\n";
}
/********************************************************
This Script will be included in all web pages
to show an Icon on Mouse over,
Clicking the Icon will show a Zoominto Viewer (a Flash made viewer) to Zoom the Image Content
********************************************************/
var tmppluginServername = "http://www.zoominto.com/software/ieplugin/";
var versionswf="1100";
var tmppluginSwfname=tmppluginServername + "imgviewerpremium" + versionswf + ".swf";
var protocol = "http://";
var isInternetExplorer = navigator.appName.indexOf("Microsoft") != -1;
plugin_run();
function BrowserZoomPlugin() {
var ua, s, i;
this.isIE = false;
this.isNS = false;
this.version = null;
ua = navigator.userAgent;
s = "MSIE";
if ((i = ua.indexOf(s)) >= 0) {
this.isIE = true;
this.version = parseFloat(ua.substr(i + s.length));
return;
}
s = "Netscape6/";
if ((i = ua.indexOf(s)) >= 0) {
this.isNS = true;
this.version = parseFloat(ua.substr(i + s.length));
return;
}
s = "Gecko";
if ((i = ua.indexOf(s)) >= 0) {
this.isNS = true;
this.version = 6.1;
return;
}
}
var browser = new BrowserZoomPlugin;
var dragObj = new Object;
dragObj.zIndex = 0;
function zoominto_dragStart(event, id) {
var el;
var x, y;
if (id) {
dragObj.elNode = document.getElementById(id);
} else {
if (browser.isIE) {
dragObj.elNode = window.event.srcElement;
}
if (browser.isNS) {
dragObj.elNode = event.target;
}
if (dragObj.elNode.nodeType == 3) {
dragObj.elNode = dragObj.elNode.parentNode;
}
}
if (browser.isIE) {
x = window.event.clientX + document.documentElement.scrollLeft + document.body.scrollLeft;
y = window.event.clientY + document.documentElement.scrollTop + document.body.scrollTop;
}
if (browser.isNS) {
x = event.clientX + window.scrollX;
y = event.clientY + window.scrollY;
}
dragObj.cursorStartX = x;
dragObj.cursorStartY = y;
dragObj.elStartLeft = parseInt(dragObj.elNode.style.left, 10);
dragObj.elStartTop = parseInt(dragObj.elNode.style.top, 10);
if (isNaN(dragObj.elStartLeft)) {
dragObj.elStartLeft = 0;
}
if (isNaN(dragObj.elStartTop)) {
dragObj.elStartTop = 0;
}
dragObj.elNode.style.zIndex = ++dragObj.zIndex;
if (browser.isIE) {
document.attachEvent("onmousemove", zoominto_dragGo);
document.attachEvent("onmouseup", zoominto_dragStop);
window.event.cancelBubble = true;
window.event.returnValue = false;
}
if (browser.isNS) {
document.addEventListener("mousemove", zoominto_dragGo, true);
document.addEventListener("mouseup", zoominto_dragStop, true);
event.preventDefault();
}
}
function zoominto_dragGo(event) {
var x, y;
if (browser.isIE) {
x = window.event.clientX + document.documentElement.scrollLeft + document.body.scrollLeft;
y = window.event.clientY + document.documentElement.scrollTop + document.body.scrollTop;
}
if (browser.isNS) {
x = event.clientX + window.scrollX;
y = event.clientY + window.scrollY;
}
dragObj.elNode.style.left = dragObj.elStartLeft + x - dragObj.cursorStartX + "px";
dragObj.elNode.style.top = dragObj.elStartTop + y - dragObj.cursorStartY + "px";
if (browser.isIE) {
window.event.cancelBubble = true;
window.event.returnValue = false;
}
if (browser.isNS) {
event.preventDefault();
}
}
function zoominto_dragStop(event) {
if (browser.isIE) {
document.detachEvent("onmousemove", zoominto_dragGo);
document.detachEvent("onmouseup", zoominto_dragStop);
}
if (browser.isNS) {
document.removeEventListener("mousemove", zoominto_dragGo, true);
document.removeEventListener("mouseup", zoominto_dragStop, true);
}
}
function imgplayerprogress_DoFSCommand(command, args) {
var imgplayerprogressObj = isInternetExplorer ? document.all.imgplayerprogress : document.imgplayerprogress;
}
function zoominto_addElement(divIdName, htmlval) {
try {
var newdiv = document.createElement("div");
newdiv.setAttribute("id", divIdName);
newdiv.setAttribute("title", "");
newdiv.style.position = "absolute";
newdiv.style.display = "none";
newdiv.innerHTML = htmlval;
document.body.appendChild(newdiv);;
} catch (e) {
}
}
function zoominto_addmyelems(divIdName, htmlval) {
try {
var newdiv = document.createElement("div");
newdiv.setAttribute("id", divIdName);
newdiv.innerHTML = htmlval;
document.body.appendChild(newdiv);;
} catch (e) {
//_L(e);
}
}
function zoominto_initializelements() {
zoominto_addElement("plugpanel", " ");
zoominto_addmyelems("plugincheck_0909", "
");
}
function zoominto_GetElementPostion(theElement) {
var selectedPosX = 0;
var selectedPosY = 0;
tmpw = theElement.width;
tmph = theElement.height;
while (theElement != null) {
selectedPosX += theElement.offsetLeft;
selectedPosY += theElement.offsetTop;
theElement = theElement.offsetParent;
}
var tempelement = new Array(selectedPosX, selectedPosY, tmpw, tmph);
return tempelement;
}
function plugin_showdeadcenterdiv(Xwidth, Yheight, divid) {
var scrolledX, scrolledY;
if (self.pageYOffset) {
scrolledX = self.pageXOffset;
scrolledY = self.pageYOffset;
} else if (document.documentElement && document.documentElement.scrollTop) {
scrolledX = document.documentElement.scrollLeft;
scrolledY = document.documentElement.scrollTop;
} else if (document.body) {
scrolledX = document.body.scrollLeft;
scrolledY = document.body.scrollTop;
}
var centerX, centerY;
if (self.innerHeight) {
centerX = self.innerWidth;
centerY = self.innerHeight;
} else if (document.documentElement &&
document.documentElement.clientHeight) {
centerX = document.documentElement.clientWidth;
centerY = document.documentElement.clientHeight;
} else if (document.body) {
centerX = document.body.clientWidth;
centerY = document.body.clientHeight;
}
var leftOffset = scrolledX + (centerX - Xwidth) / 2;
var topOffset = scrolledY + (centerY - Yheight) / 2;
var o = document.getElementById(divid);
var r = o.style;
r.position = "absolute";
r.top = topOffset + "px";
r.left = leftOffset + "px";
r.display = "block";
}
function pluginalertShow(layerid) {
document.getElementById(layerid).style.visibility = "visible";
document.getElementById(layerid).style.display = "block";
plugin_showdeadcenterdiv(280, 115, layerid);
document.getElementById("plugin_btn_activate").focus();
}
function pluginalerthide(layerid) {
document.getElementById(layerid).style.visibility = "hidden";
document.getElementById(layerid).style.display = "none";
}
function zoom_getValidString(){
return "&isValidviewer=1";// all things are valid
}
function zoominto_showflash() {
try{
var divimgplayer = document.getElementById("div_plugin_img_player");
divimgplayer.style.display = "block";
divimgplayer.style.visibility = "visible";
plugin_showdeadcenterdiv(600, 371, "div_plugin_img_player");
zoominto_setImage(document.getElementById("plugpanel").title);
} catch (e) {
}
}
function zoominto_closeflash() {
var divimgplayer = document.getElementById("div_plugin_img_player");
divimgplayer.style.display = "none";
divimgplayer.style.visibility = "hidden";
}
function hidezoomicon(){
document.getElementById("plugpanel").style.visibility = "hidden";
}
function getMouseX( e ) {
return e.pageX
|| ( e.clientX + ( document.documentElement.scrollLeft
|| document.body.scrollLeft ) );
}
function getMouseY( e ) {
return e.pageY
|| ( e.clientY + ( document.documentElement.scrollTop
|| document.body.scrollTop ) );
}
function dhtmlLoadScript(url)
{
var e = document.createElement("script");
e.src = url;
e.type="text/javascript";
// document.getElementByTagName("head")[0].appendChild(e);
document.getElementById("addiv").appendChild(e);
}
function getactualimgdimensions(imgsrc){
zoomintoheavyImage = new Image();
zoomintoheavyImage.src = imgsrc
var tempelement = new Array(zoomintoheavyImage.width, zoomintoheavyImage.height);
return tempelement;
}
function plugin_run() {
var image = document.getElementsByTagName("img");
var totimgLength=image.length;
zoominto_initializelements();
for (var i = 0; i < image.length; i++) {
if (image[i].className.match("myplug_img")){
image[i].onmouseout = function (evt) {
document.getElementById("plugpanel").style.visibility = "hidden";
}
}// Zoom icon hidden
zoomarrdim= getactualimgdimensions(image[i].src);
//arrdim[0] - width arrdim[1] - height
if (!image[i].className.match("myplug_img") &&
zoomarrdim[0] > 50 && zoomarrdim[1] > 60) {
image[i].onmouseover = function () {imgvals = zoominto_GetElementPostion(this);
document.getElementById("plugpanel").style.display = "block";document.getElementById("plugpanel").style.visibility = "visible";document.getElementById("plugpanel").style.left = imgvals[0] + "px";document.getElementById("plugpanel").style.top = imgvals[1] + "px";document.getElementById("plugpanel").title = this.src;};
image[i].onmouseout = function (evt) {
imgvals = zoominto_GetElementPostion(this);
strx=imgvals[0];
stry=imgvals[1];
endx=imgvals[0] +imgvals[2] ;
endy=imgvals[1] + imgvals[3];
tmpcurx=evt.pageX;
tmpcury=evt.pageY;
if(tmpcurx > strx && tmpcurx < endx && tmpcury > stry && tmpcury < endy ){
l=1
}
else{
document.getElementById("plugpanel").style.visibility = "hidden";
}
};
}// End of Condition Image smaller
if(zoomarrdim[0] == 1 && zoomarrdim[1] == 1){
// remove Image element
image[i].style.display="none";
image[i].style.visibility="hidden";
}
}
}
function zoominto_URLEncode(clearString) {
var output = "";
var x = 0;
clearString = clearString.toString();
var regex = /(^[a-zA-Z0-9_.]*)/;
while (x < clearString.length) {
var match = regex.exec(clearString.substr(x));
if (match != null && match.length > 1 && match[1] != "") {
output += match[1];
x += match[1].length;
} else {
if (clearString[x] == " ") {
output += "+";
} else {
var charCode = clearString.charCodeAt(x);
var hexVal = charCode.toString(16);
output += "%" + (hexVal.length < 2 ? "0" : "") + hexVal.toUpperCase();
}
x++;
}
}
return output;
}
function Closeiepluginpanel() {
closeflash();
}
function zoominto_setImage(txturl) {
zoominto_changeobject(txturl);
}
function logme(txtstr) {
// try {
//alert(txtstr);
return "";
}
function zoominto_changeobject(url) {
//Method to Display the Viewer for Image
trkval = "?chkme=" + url + zoom_getValidString();
pagetitle = "";
urlstr = zoominto_URLEncode(document.location);
document.getElementById("div_plugin_img_player").innerHTML = "
\n";
}
posted by Monica Roberts at 2:00 PM on Jan 3, 2011
"Pam's Ponderings-Why Do Some Gay Men Hate Transsexuals?"
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