[Image]
Another insightful post from Renee, my fave mommy blogger and the editrix of Womanist Musings.
Last week, I wrote about
a 14 year old girl named Amber Cole, who became an internet sensation,
after a video of her performing oral sex on a boy went viral.There can
be no doubt that Cole's life will never be the same and we know that
once something goes online, there is no way to stop it from
circulating. Every time someone views this video, Cole will be
re-victimized. Thankfully, the boys involved in this incident have been arrested.
Amber only consented to performing oral sex to attempt to win back the
affections of her ex-boyfriend, she most certainly did not consent to
have the act filmed and released on the internet. The boys used Cole.
This tells me that Amber has a self esteem problem, and the last thing
that you do when someone already has a negative self view, is to shame
them into oblivion.
It would be one thing if Amber had consented within the framework of a
reciprocal loving relationship, but that is not the case. I don't
really find her behaviour all that surprising, when society invests so
much time teaching young Black girls that they are without value and not
deserving of love. When many heard about this incident or viewed the
video, though it constituted child pornography, all they saw was a fast
ass little girl and not a reflection of the way in which Black womanhood
has been devalued. Since the arrest of the boys involved, some have
even gone as far as to claim that Amber should be charged with something
herself, as though public shaming has not been more than enough
punishment. Amber even had to change her school, and that is only the
first example of how this video will follow her through life.
When I wrote about this last week, a commenter brought up the issue of
lack of coverage of the incident in the feminist sphere. I know that as
bloggers, we have limited resources and we have to make careful
consideration over what we bring attention to, but the glaring silence
about Amber Cole is painful. Black women have spoken up in droves to
claim #teamambercole, as a method of rejecting the slut shaming and the
cyber bullying involved in this incident. The silence of our supposed
White female activist allies speaks loudly.
Black women have spoken out repeatedly about the various ways in which
our stories differ from that of White women and this often reduced to us
just being angry. When incidents like this happen and the response
from White women is silence, it simply stands as further evidence that
when they advocate for women's issues, what they really mean anything
that effects them and not us. If women truly mattered, the defense of
Amber Cole, would not be left solely for Black women to undertake.
Amber Cole matters because all Black women have at some point been subject to such vile exploitation.
It may not manifest in the same fashion that it did with Cole, but it is
an inevitability. To be Black and female is to be constantly under
attack. Despite the fact that Black men must negotiate racism, when it
comes to gender, there is no doubt that they exist with privilege.
Despite the fact that White women must negotiate sexism in our
patriarchal world, their racial privilege means that they will never
experience it the way that we do, and that in and of itself is privilege
- a privilege born of White supremacy. There is not one group that
completely understands the plight of the Black female and this is borne
out by their lack of confrontation or defense of us when we are in
need.
It doesn't matter whether the issue is Amber Cole or Michelle Obama, no
one has a vested interest in truly being an ally to us, because that
requires confronting privilege. White women's organizing groups make a
point of arguing against sexism, even in cases where the woman they are
defending is absolutely vile. There is never any shortage of defense
for people like Sarah Palin, who is clearly anti-woman because attacking
sexism aimed at her is considered necessary to fight patriarchy. This
same concept however, is not applicable to Black women, even when they
are the victims of clear exploitation.
I am firmly #teamambercole because if Black women don't stand beside her
and declare that cyber bullying is absolutely wrong, and that slut
shaming a young girl for failing to make a wise decision is
indefensible, then no one will. The only people we can reliably count on
is each other. I have been told many times since I started Womanist
Musings that my approach is divisive, and that I cause harm to the
delicate fabric of female solidarity. If being angry at being neglected,
when we are so clearly being attacked is considered divisive, then you
don't really have a vested interest in women. If you can ignore what
happened to Amber Cole, and think it is okay to go about your day
without defending a 14 year old girl who was used, but then defend
someone like Palin, who has done nothing but harm women, then what are
you doing isn't really about advocating on behalf women, but advocating
on behalf of White female empowerment.
It seems to that White women want equality with White men, and far too
many have decided that the best way to make that happen is to either
stand directly on our shoulders, or to hand us over lock stock and
barrel to patriarchy as a replacement. You're silence offers Black women
up to be abused, exploited and actively oppressed in your staid. We
shall not suffer so that you can walk with freedom and we shall not be
silent so that your voices and your lives constitute the entirety of the
female experience. #teamambercole matters and until you can see why, we
have very little to talk about.
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"Why #teamambernicole Matters And The Silence Of White Women"
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