Jill, My cousin says something often that I really like: "Make your own joy." So often I forget that. It comes from within.
I get jealous that other moms have more time with their kids (since I work), jealous that others have a bigger and better house despite the fact that I work hard and save, bitter about my divorce and having to "start over," etc. But then I realize I'm being silly. Most days I think, "Hey, I have a nice life!" and that's a good feeling. We all battle feelings of jealousy in our own way.
I think it is cool that you have those reminders around your house and that you saw them just when you needed them.
I think we all have pangs about something. For me it tends to be more about relationships than stuff. The stuff gives me guilt. I also realized a few years ago that I think many of our resources are much closer than we think, I am just amazed at how differently we use them. The house doesn't usually mean more money. Not sure if I can make that make sense without going on too long.
I'm glad you talked yourself down and had an ephiphany. Your house is so cute and pretty much the most decorated house I get to go to! We all see each other so differently than we see ourself.
i think that was beautifully put- i think i need reminders in my house, too. i definitely get jealous- of posessions, of moms who are stay at home, of moms who can just decide to have a baby one day without worry about cost...of people who own couches instead of futons. :) i love the reminder of gratitude. how true that when we focus on what we do have, other worries seem to fall away and seem less important.
Your post today Jill really touched my heart. Jealousy is something I struggle with, even though I hate those feelings, they creep in. I get jealous of people's relationships, or the appearance of their relationships at least.
How sweet to see the signs lovingly placed around your home to gently remind you. We're human and those feelings get us from time to time--we just can't let them fester! :) Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
THis is something I struggle with daily. I always try and not compare myself and the things I have, with what everyone else has and everything they are doing. I most often lose this battle with jealousy. I find myself angry, not at others for what they experience, but rather at myself for things I don't have and the things I desire.
I'm glad you had those reminders jump out at you today. I don't really have "things" around our house that remind me of how blessed I am. My wonderful husband and three girls are the reminders I get throughout my day. I need to find some of those joy, gratitude sayings to place where I can "see" them.
Thanks for sharing your feelings. I needed this today.
Friday, July 06, 2007 8:05:00 AM
Anonymous said...
I love that I started my day reading your post! So cool that you caught sight of that saying and really read it again. I need more things around my house like that to talk me down from the ledge from time to time.
I would be surprised if someone didn't suffer from those jealousy pangs every once and a while- it really is such a mortal feeling.
I strive to create a life I love with the resources I have, some days it is easier to feel satisfied than others.
Oh why did I read your post? I was so happy feeling jealous and annoyed by everyone else's life and neglecting my word of the year (choice) so I could be happily miserable feeling like my life is a wreck and every one else has it so good...
You're not alone sweet friend! And if it helps- yours was the life I was coveting! Hot Air Balloons, Seven Peaks with friends and independent kids, b-day mail waiting to be opened, time to blog every day... the things I thought made up your fabulous life when really your were feeling frustrated too! Thanks for posting about the reality so many of us share. It was time for a dose of it!
Friday, July 06, 2007 8:21:00 AM
Anonymous said...
Oh Jill, I'm sure every one who reads this blog has similar feelings. I know I do. Its a constant struggle to keep things in perspective and to be happy with what we have and the place we are in life. I too love the reminders you have throughout your home and of all words "GRATITUDE" is probably the most helpful of all!
What a great post today! Thanks, Jill! Loved that you found those signs as a reminder to you and that you really SAW them when you needed to remember. At times, I feel this way - when reading blogs! Yep! It's true. And it can be painful. Whether it is from their craftiness, their organization, their approach to life. Their relationships, their children, etc.. There is always something. I think that it is great to look at those things and realize that everyone has their own struggles. Most of the time, we don't see them or even know about them. That helps me or I just stay away from those blogs! HA My signs - simplify - not working for me. Whistle while you work - not whistlin' whilte doin' laundry! Live, Love, Laugh - trying. Home is where your story begins - so true - more guilt though! :-) Thanks for sharing. Something to ponder today!
I have found myself struggling with this alot lately. The difference for me is that I'm not really that jealous... but I am frustrated with myself for not being in a place financially to have the things that I feel I should have at this stage of my life.
Your post was something I really needed to read. I do have so much to be thankful for. I have more than many and I need to start giving myself credit for my success and learning to to be happy for what I do have.
When I find myself wanting 'things' I go to the Provident Living website and read articles about budgets, saving, debt, etc. It always makes me feel better and encourages me to live within my means and to ENJOY it. That can be hard sometimes.
Think of all the leisure activities that we do that require money. Unless you know someone with a pool you can't even go swimming around here for free! What's up with that?! It's just wrong.
Another random thought...when I wish that my apartment was cuted up I start cleaning and putting everything in its place. It works everytime!
Beauty is in order, balance, harmony and wholeness.
First....how wonderful that you have so many great reminders around your house (and just so you know your house is one of the cutest, most homey homes I have been in...I loved and wanted to copy everything about it!)
For mothers day my mom gave each of us girls the book by Mary Ellen Edmunds called "you can never get enough of what you don't need The quest for Contentment". I read it and LOVED it! It has really given me such a better perspecitve of what is really important. I just love that you can walk around your house and be reminded of what is really important!
I do have reminders that I forget to see -- like my giant "Give Thanks" sign! I love the Gratitude picture that Kelly sent you and I'm glad that you really saw it at a moment when you needed it.
I do think we all struggle with envy at times, with me it is quite often about financial security or relationships. Remembering to be grateful for what I have works every time!
This reminds me I have signs such as that all around my house. And it's amazing how quickly we can forget such simple things. I often have a hard time with material things (internally) because so many of my friends have been out of "school" for so long and have very nice houses, cars and go on extravagant vacations. But really like my husband alwasy says, does it really matter in the long run? Happiness doesn't root from money, but faith and service does. I find myself getting frustrated, but like you I wouldn't change my life, kids, marriage for anything else. It's definitely something I have to work on ALL the time.
Just know you aren't alone. I think you often express gratitude more than you think! :)
i don't know if there are reminders in my home... sure something to think about.
i probably used to be a really jealous person, but then seriously it became exhausting. and then i would see people around me who are seem so jealous and they were always freaks. ok i am not saying you are a freak and i am not saying i don't still feel jealousy, but it does not control me the way it has in the past. i had a pretty big experience in my life, one too personal to share publicly but would be happy to one one, and it jolted any jealous feeling i seemed to be having. it was a trial but now such a blessing and has taught me so much! and i really just decided i am done with those feelings, they are exhausting. i also prayed to not be so consumed with all that anymore and just be happy with what i have and realize that my expectations and jealousy went hand in hand. because of that past experience i share ideas more, i love to see other people find happiness in things, ideas or traditions that have made me happy. and it feels better to share an idea now then it did to come up with it in the first place. i will just say - money, things, bigger and better does not bring any more happiness, all money does is pay the bills (quote from my MIL) ... i know i am not telling you anything you don't know, but it kind of sounds like i am getting a little preachy but don't mean to be. Jill, i must say though this is why there is no other blog like yours out there, you have real feelings but you are so willing to share them in such an honest manner - seeing you admit to feelings that you have that you want to change totally inspires me to not live in denial in areas in my own life and overcome them. this is what life is all about - seeing things in our life we want to change and change them. and i believe that yes these feelings can and will go away. we master different areas in our life and then we realize we want to become better and better and then we find new things about our self we want to change. my hands applaud you jill! you are awesome!
Is there a person out there that doesn't struggle with this in one way or another? We all know how blessed we are, but that doesn't mean it still doesn't creep up on us from time to time. The important thing is that is that it doesn't rule all of our thoughts and actions. That we are able to recognize it (like you did), deal with it, and then go on.
I really like the little reminders you have posted around your home. I think I will take a trip to Hobby Lobby today and see if I can find something similar. We all could use a little extra reminder on a daily basis.
We are blessing new baby Bub in 2 weeks and just today I had a big sigh about how I wish my home were bigger, nicer, that the food could be better, more decorations etc. I am so glad I read your blog because all the sudden I remembered that this is suppose to be a spiritual occasion. It's not about me, it's about my little family, and especially little Bub. Whew...hopefully I can keep that perspective! Thanks
I think I am most guilty of assuming that everyone around me is fulfilling their potential and I'm the one who hasn't, and won't. Isn't that awful! I'm assuming a ridiculous amount about ppl whose lives I know only a fraction of, and I'm really putting myself down. God forbid that my daughters ever see this in me and mirror it!
There are fantastic responses to this post, Jill. I hope it all makes for interesting and reassuring bedtime reading. I feel like printing all these off and snuggling up in bed with a cup of tea and having a good pore over everyone's (seemingly parallel) frustrations.
I'm glad you caught sight of those v.important sentiments in your own home. I have a friend who kept wanting to remember to do her pelvic floor exercises after she'd given birth (there's a point here, bear with me!) - so she began to sign her name on emails and forum posts 'SAPF' - Shirley Ann Pelvic Floor. It worked! We even referred to her as SAPF, and that reminded US to do OUR pelvic floor exercises. So, here's my point (or suggestion) - why don't you spend a while signing your name JSSJ - with the Scatter Joy at the end. It'll remind you, and remind us!
*must lie down now, after exhausting, brilliant idea*
Jill, thank you so much for this entry. I believe that we all go through these feelings of what I call "WANTISM".
When we lived in Georgia, I had these same feelings but worse. It put me in depression. All our friends had parents who helped them with everything; money, college,houses, cars, kids activities. not a single one of the moms worked. My parents on the other hand, didn't have that kind of money nor if they did would they give it to us because we were not children anymore and needed to learn to be self sufficent.
I have really appreciated the struggle that my husband and I had to go through in our 18 years together, it has made us closer, it has taught me to appreciate my husband and his selfless love for our family. But, as we were going through the really tough times, I heard Oprah talk about a Gratitude journal. I tried that- one item a day to be grateful about..it was the most theraputic thing for me.
I believe that your signs, your blog and your kindness to me and other's is your talent for really being unselfish!!! I am so grateful that you are so selfless, that you share your most personal feelings with other's that you have mostly never met face to face. Because it helps us all to realize that we are all just human.
I'm having the same problem as you right now. I do have moments of jealousy and I hate it. Our car needs it's transmission fixed and it will cost $2000. That's a ton of money for us so we don't know whether we want to use that money (that we don't have) towards a new car instead. I was so grouchy with Lou last night asking why we just couldn't have the money to buy a new car and not stress about it and why we don't have money for this and that like everyone else seems to have. I was so bad I didn't even want to pray because I was being so ungrateful in my heart. I know I have blessings and monetary blessings will come in the future. Thanks for posting this to know I'm not the only one.
I am so sorry I have forgotten to rsvp officially. I will be there and I will bring and help with what ever you need! Just let me know.
Allright, now on to commenting on this post. I love it. You wrote what we all think and what we go through more often then we would like to admit. It always seems rosier on someone elses side. Jason always reminds me that we have it good and to quit wanting more. THat is awesome your home is filled with so many good quotes and reminders for you and your family. I have a lot of good ones to but tend to not see them during the business of the day. I need to walk around my house more and read them all more often.
I definitely feel this way sometimes. I can be horribly impatient, and a lot of my friends who are older don't have to work day jobs- they are actually making A LIVING writing or acting or whatever! I know they suffered for a lot of years, and I am paying my dues, but I can't help but want a bigger apartment and a country house and more clothes and a car (and a place to park it)... I just have to hope that it will all fall into place someday.
Hey Jill...so good to know that we all experience these same feelings. I know I do. And it comes in so many forms like you said, material things, talents, etc. I know I'm always trying to not be envious of your gift and ability to be so helpful and thoughtful to others through good mail, watching a friends kids, taking care of your nieces FOR A FREAKIN WEEK! But I always try to stop and remember that I am doing my best and that's what counts.
I really had a hard time with this when I first started blogging. I even considered not reading blogs anymore, but I didn't want to miss out on all the good in my life that came from it so I decided to try and conquer these feelings instead. I think the thing that helped me the most was to try to remember that we don't see everything that goes on in others lives. For example some may think that my life is darn near perfect, a great new house, good kids, a great hubby, etc. But would they want to trade me if they knew that I struggle with depression/anxiety? Something that oftentimes seems to take away the ability to enjoy all the wonderful things in my life? Probably not. We all have different joys and blessings and we all carry different burdens. All of which can help make us stronger and better daughters of God.
Thanks again for sharing this today, it's always a blessing to know that your not alone.
Oh my honus! You have a ton of great supporters here! I only read my sista's comment ;) She is older and wiser than I -haha!
We all need a kick in the pants once in awhile -that's why we hang the dang signs in the 1st place -to be reminded - the cool thing is when we have our ah ha moment & take note ;)Glad you shared!Janae
So much wonderful advice. I know that jealousy among women is one of Satans most powerful tools. He wants us to tear each other and ourselves down. Of course we know that Heavenly Father wants the exact opposite for us, to lift each other. That is so hard to do when we are feeling envy. Hope you have a happy weekend!
wow you have a ton of comments on this one.. great post.. it is something so many people struggle with... I know when we go to visit utah that I would easily fall into that jealousy thing.. there seems to be money everywhere....huge homes everywhere... barbie dolls everywhere....so I would easily be feeling jelous.. even though I would love to live close to my sisters in utah.. I think I am here in wa.. to kinda help me with that whole jelousy thing.. money is just not what it is about.. happiness is really being happy with what you have.. my sister in lehi was just telling me about visiting with neighbors who all seem to be independently wealthy.. and she was feeling down.. well we just dont' know the whole story.. not that it matters.. but I think of people all over the world who are happy with so little.. we are blessed to live in america and have the opportunities we do have...thanks for sharing your thoughts... love your real feelings- that we all share! just my 2cents!
Don't you love those "aha" moments? Whenever I have those jealous feelings, I look at my family. These beautiful human beings that my husband and I created and the "green" feelings fade. I am so lucky for what I do have. I wish I could be at the blog party. Did you decide on having it at your house again or at a different venue?
I think we all go through times like this. It's nice that when those feelings come you have an aha moment at the same time and are quickly reminded of how good your life is, how many people would want to trade places with you. You, I forget how relative it all is. What you have someone may want more than anything and what they have you might trade for in a heart beat, but I know we need to be happy where we are because ultimately we will take are frustrations with us and it would manifest itself elsewhere.
I think it's cool you talked about your feelings of jealousy. I think so much of the time nobody will mention this and everyone just assumes that everyone else has the perfect life, money, all the stuff we want, etc, etc. I think it's interesting that Jen said she was coveting your life. That's the way it always seems to happen doesn't it? I don't know that I necessarily look at other people and think that's what I want, but I definitely think of the things that I would want and wonder why I don't have them. But that always gets me in to trouble. I need to learn to have more gratitude too.
jill i am so late in commenting but i must say one word ratatoille....i don't even know how to spell it.....that summed it all up...of course, not being a rat....but the whole movie was MOI
Hi Jill, late to read the post, but I can totally relate to how you are feeling. Right now we are in an old (early 1900's house) rental, paying more than seems fair, and not really getting anywhere, I have couches that are more than 10 years old (I HATE them!), and I have serious jealousy issues too. I know someday it won't be this way, but it is hard to sit around and wait when I see others with gorgeous homes, etc. Anyway, I like what you said about finding the joy and the gratitude for what we do have. I think its time for me to start counting blessings and stop counting the eggs I don't have yet.
Monday, July 09, 2007 10:58:00 AM
I've been experiencing some pangs of jealousy lately regarding material possessions (houses, home decor, financial security, talents, etc.,) and I don't like it. It's immature and illogical and yet even when I talk myself down from such feelings I'm still aware of them in the pit of my stomach and in the tightness of my right shoulder. Aargh!
[Image]Tonight as I was walking away from the computer and in to the kitchen this sign caught my eye and I had an ah-ha moment of sorts. I see this sign everyday, but I don't think I've really "seen" it for awhile. I had to laugh at myself for my foolish and negative thoughts (which I had been experiencing while reading blogs tonight) and remind myself that those feelings are contrary to the way I want to live my life. I have a choice.
[Image] Then to really drive the point home, I walked over to lock the front door and passed this little set up on the buffet. I absolutely love this Gratitude picture that Kelly sent me awhile ago and love how it serves as a great reminder to me. I'm not being grateful for what I have when I'm dwelling on what I don't have (duh).
Apparently this is a lesson I need to keep relearning so that it actually becomes a permanent part of me, because these feelings creep in too frequently. I'm such a mortal. Ultimately I know I don't want to trade lives with anyone else, I want to be the best me I can be, I'd just like to do that in a nice house that I can decorate and entertain in, is that so wrong?
**Do you have reminders at home that you forget to see? Do you battle feelings of jealousy?**
"Subtle Reminders"
36 Comments -
Jill, My cousin says something often that I really like: "Make your own joy." So often I forget that. It comes from within.
I get jealous that other moms have more time with their kids (since I work), jealous that others have a bigger and better house despite the fact that I work hard and save, bitter about my divorce and having to "start over," etc. But then I realize I'm being silly. Most days I think, "Hey, I have a nice life!" and that's a good feeling. We all battle feelings of jealousy in our own way.
Friday, July 06, 2007 5:55:00 AM
I think it is cool that you have those reminders around your house and that you saw them just when you needed them.
I think we all have pangs about something. For me it tends to be more about relationships than stuff. The stuff gives me guilt. I also realized a few years ago that I think many of our resources are much closer than we think, I am just amazed at how differently we use them. The house doesn't usually mean more money. Not sure if I can make that make sense without going on too long.
I'm glad you talked yourself down and had an ephiphany. Your house is so cute and pretty much the most decorated house I get to go to! We all see each other so differently than we see ourself.
Friday, July 06, 2007 6:48:00 AM
i think that was beautifully put- i think i need reminders in my house, too.
i definitely get jealous- of posessions, of moms who are stay at home, of moms who can just decide to have a baby one day without worry about cost...of people who own couches instead of futons. :)
i love the reminder of gratitude. how true that when we focus on what we do have, other worries seem to fall away and seem less important.
Friday, July 06, 2007 7:37:00 AM
Your post today Jill really touched my heart. Jealousy is something I struggle with, even though I hate those feelings, they creep in. I get jealous of people's relationships, or the appearance of their relationships at least.
How sweet to see the signs lovingly placed around your home to gently remind you. We're human and those feelings get us from time to time--we just can't let them fester! :) Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Friday, July 06, 2007 7:52:00 AM
THis is something I struggle with daily. I always try and not compare myself and the things I have, with what everyone else has and everything they are doing. I most often lose this battle with jealousy. I find myself angry, not at others for what they experience, but rather at myself for things I don't have and the things I desire.
I'm glad you had those reminders jump out at you today. I don't really have "things" around our house that remind me of how blessed I am. My wonderful husband and three girls are the reminders I get throughout my day. I need to find some of those joy, gratitude sayings to place where I can "see" them.
Thanks for sharing your feelings. I needed this today.
Friday, July 06, 2007 8:05:00 AM
I love that I started my day reading your post! So cool that you caught sight of that saying and really read it again. I need more things around my house like that to talk me down from the ledge from time to time.
I would be surprised if someone didn't suffer from those jealousy pangs every once and a while- it really is such a mortal feeling.
I strive to create a life I love with the resources I have, some days it is easier to feel satisfied than others.
Friday, July 06, 2007 8:20:00 AM
Oh why did I read your post? I was so happy feeling jealous and annoyed by everyone else's life and neglecting my word of the year (choice) so I could be happily miserable feeling like my life is a wreck and every one else has it so good...
You're not alone sweet friend! And if it helps- yours was the life I was coveting! Hot Air Balloons, Seven Peaks with friends and independent kids, b-day mail waiting to be opened, time to blog every day... the things I thought made up your fabulous life when really your were feeling frustrated too! Thanks for posting about the reality so many of us share. It was time for a dose of it!
Friday, July 06, 2007 8:21:00 AM
Oh Jill, I'm sure every one who reads this blog has similar feelings. I know I do. Its a constant struggle to keep things in perspective and to be happy with what we have and the place we are in life. I too love the reminders you have throughout your home and of all words "GRATITUDE" is probably the most helpful of all!
Friday, July 06, 2007 9:06:00 AM
What a great post today! Thanks, Jill! Loved that you found those signs as a reminder to you and that you really SAW them when you needed to remember.
At times, I feel this way - when reading blogs! Yep! It's true. And it can be painful. Whether it is from their craftiness, their organization, their approach to life. Their relationships, their children, etc.. There is always something. I think that it is great to look at those things and realize that everyone has their own struggles. Most of the time, we don't see them or even know about them. That helps me or I just stay away from those blogs! HA
My signs - simplify - not working for me.
Whistle while you work - not whistlin' whilte doin' laundry!
Live, Love, Laugh - trying.
Home is where your story begins - so true - more guilt though! :-)
Thanks for sharing. Something to ponder today!
Friday, July 06, 2007 9:18:00 AM
I have found myself struggling with this alot lately. The difference for me is that I'm not really that jealous... but I am frustrated with myself for not being in a place financially to have the things that I feel I should have at this stage of my life.
Your post was something I really needed to read. I do have so much to be thankful for. I have more than many and I need to start giving myself credit for my success and learning to to be happy for what I do have.
Friday, July 06, 2007 9:20:00 AM
What a wonderful post :)
Have a great day !
Friday, July 06, 2007 10:30:00 AM
When I find myself wanting 'things' I go to the Provident Living website and read articles about budgets, saving, debt, etc. It always makes me feel better and encourages me to live within my means and to ENJOY it. That can be hard sometimes.
Think of all the leisure activities that we do that require money. Unless you know someone with a pool you can't even go swimming around here for free! What's up with that?! It's just wrong.
Another random thought...when I wish that my apartment was cuted up I start cleaning and putting everything in its place. It works everytime!
Beauty is in order, balance, harmony and wholeness.
Friday, July 06, 2007 10:39:00 AM
thanks so much for sharing this. i needed to hear it.
Friday, July 06, 2007 10:53:00 AM
First....how wonderful that you have so many great reminders around your house (and just so you know your house is one of the cutest, most homey homes I have been in...I loved and wanted to copy everything about it!)
For mothers day my mom gave each of us girls the book by Mary Ellen Edmunds called "you can never get enough of what you don't need The quest for Contentment". I read it and LOVED it! It has really given me such a better perspecitve of what is really important. I just love that you can walk around your house and be reminded of what is really important!
Friday, July 06, 2007 11:08:00 AM
I do have reminders that I forget to see -- like my giant "Give Thanks" sign! I love the Gratitude picture that Kelly sent you and I'm glad that you really saw it at a moment when you needed it.
I do think we all struggle with envy at times, with me it is quite often about financial security or relationships. Remembering to be grateful for what I have works every time!
Friday, July 06, 2007 11:31:00 AM
This reminds me I have signs such as that all around my house. And it's amazing how quickly we can forget such simple things. I often have a hard time with material things (internally) because so many of my friends have been out of "school" for so long and have very nice houses, cars and go on extravagant vacations. But really like my husband alwasy says, does it really matter in the long run? Happiness doesn't root from money, but faith and service does. I find myself getting frustrated, but like you I wouldn't change my life, kids, marriage for anything else. It's definitely something I have to work on ALL the time.
Just know you aren't alone. I think you often express gratitude more than you think! :)
Friday, July 06, 2007 11:58:00 AM
i don't know if there are reminders in my home... sure something to think about.
i probably used to be a really jealous person, but then seriously it became exhausting. and then i would see people around me who are seem so jealous and they were always freaks. ok i am not saying you are a freak and i am not saying i don't still feel jealousy, but it does not control me the way it has in the past.
i had a pretty big experience in my life, one too personal to share publicly but would be happy to one one, and it jolted any jealous feeling i seemed to be having. it was a trial but now such a blessing and has taught me so much!
and i really just decided i am done with those feelings, they are exhausting. i also prayed to not be so consumed with all that anymore and just be happy with what i have and realize that my expectations and jealousy went hand in hand. because of that past experience i share ideas more, i love to see other people find happiness in things, ideas or traditions that have made me happy. and it feels better to share an idea now then it did to come up with it in the first place.
i will just say - money, things, bigger and better does not bring any more happiness, all money does is pay the bills (quote from my MIL) ... i know i am not telling you anything you don't know, but it kind of sounds like i am getting a little preachy but don't mean to be.
Jill, i must say though this is why there is no other blog like yours out there, you have real feelings but you are so willing to share them in such an honest manner - seeing you admit to feelings that you have that you want to change totally inspires me to not live in denial in areas in my own life and overcome them.
this is what life is all about - seeing things in our life we want to change and change them. and i believe that yes these feelings can and will go away. we master different areas in our life and then we realize we want to become better and better and then we find new things about our self we want to change.
my hands applaud you jill! you are awesome!
Friday, July 06, 2007 12:14:00 PM
Is there a person out there that doesn't struggle with this in one way or another? We all know how blessed we are, but that doesn't mean it still doesn't creep up on us from time to time. The important thing is that is that it doesn't rule all of our thoughts and actions. That we are able to recognize it (like you did), deal with it, and then go on.
I really like the little reminders you have posted around your home. I think I will take a trip to Hobby Lobby today and see if I can find something similar. We all could use a little extra reminder on a daily basis.
Take care! You are wonderful!!
Friday, July 06, 2007 12:30:00 PM
So perceptive you are, and a great reminder, not only to awaken to our personal blessings but to surround ourselves with things that inspire. Thanks!
Friday, July 06, 2007 1:05:00 PM
We are blessing new baby Bub in 2 weeks and just today I had a big sigh about how I wish my home were bigger, nicer, that the food could be better, more decorations etc. I am so glad I read your blog because all the sudden I remembered that this is suppose to be a spiritual occasion. It's not about me, it's about my little family, and especially little Bub. Whew...hopefully I can keep that perspective! Thanks
Friday, July 06, 2007 1:59:00 PM
I think I am most guilty of assuming that everyone around me is fulfilling their potential and I'm the one who hasn't, and won't. Isn't that awful! I'm assuming a ridiculous amount about ppl whose lives I know only a fraction of, and I'm really putting myself down. God forbid that my daughters ever see this in me and mirror it!
There are fantastic responses to this post, Jill. I hope it all makes for interesting and reassuring bedtime reading. I feel like printing all these off and snuggling up in bed with a cup of tea and having a good pore over everyone's (seemingly parallel) frustrations.
I'm glad you caught sight of those v.important sentiments in your own home. I have a friend who kept wanting to remember to do her pelvic floor exercises after she'd given birth (there's a point here, bear with me!) - so she began to sign her name on emails and forum posts 'SAPF' - Shirley Ann Pelvic Floor. It worked! We even referred to her as SAPF, and that reminded US to do OUR pelvic floor exercises. So, here's my point (or suggestion) - why don't you spend a while signing your name JSSJ - with the Scatter Joy at the end. It'll remind you, and remind us!
*must lie down now, after exhausting, brilliant idea*
Friday, July 06, 2007 3:12:00 PM
A reminder we all need now and then...at least I know I do. Is it TOO LATE to RSVP for the blog party?
Friday, July 06, 2007 3:25:00 PM
Jill, thank you so much for this entry. I believe that we all go through these feelings of what I call "WANTISM".
When we lived in Georgia, I had these same feelings but worse. It put me in depression. All our friends had parents who helped them with everything; money, college,houses, cars, kids activities. not a single one of the moms worked. My parents on the other hand, didn't have that kind of money nor if they did would they give it to us because we were not children anymore and needed to learn to be self sufficent.
I have really appreciated the struggle that my husband and I had to go through in our 18 years together, it has made us closer, it has taught me to appreciate my husband and his selfless love for our family. But, as we were going through the really tough times, I heard Oprah talk about a Gratitude journal. I tried that- one item a day to be grateful about..it was the most theraputic thing for me.
I believe that your signs, your blog and your kindness to me and other's is your talent for really being unselfish!!! I am so grateful that you are so selfless, that you share your most personal feelings with other's that you have mostly never met face to face.
Because it helps us all to realize that we are all just human.
Thank you so much!!!
Friday, July 06, 2007 3:42:00 PM
I'm having the same problem as you right now. I do have moments of jealousy and I hate it. Our car needs it's transmission fixed and it will cost $2000. That's a ton of money for us so we don't know whether we want to use that money (that we don't have) towards a new car instead. I was so grouchy with Lou last night asking why we just couldn't have the money to buy a new car and not stress about it and why we don't have money for this and that like everyone else seems to have. I was so bad I didn't even want to pray because I was being so ungrateful in my heart. I know I have blessings and monetary blessings will come in the future. Thanks for posting this to know I'm not the only one.
Friday, July 06, 2007 3:51:00 PM
I am so sorry I have forgotten to rsvp officially. I will be there and I will bring and help with what ever you need! Just let me know.
Allright, now on to commenting on this post. I love it. You wrote what we all think and what we go through more often then we would like to admit. It always seems rosier on someone elses side. Jason always reminds me that we have it good and to quit wanting more. THat is awesome your home is filled with so many good quotes and reminders for you and your family. I have a lot of good ones to but tend to not see them during the business of the day. I need to walk around my house more and read them all more often.
Friday, July 06, 2007 4:18:00 PM
I definitely feel this way sometimes. I can be horribly impatient, and a lot of my friends who are older don't have to work day jobs- they are actually making A LIVING writing or acting or whatever! I know they suffered for a lot of years, and I am paying my dues, but I can't help but want a bigger apartment and a country house and more clothes and a car (and a place to park it)... I just have to hope that it will all fall into place someday.
Friday, July 06, 2007 4:30:00 PM
Hey Jill...so good to know that we all experience these same feelings. I know I do. And it comes in so many forms like you said, material things, talents, etc. I know I'm always trying to not be envious of your gift and ability to be so helpful and thoughtful to others through good mail, watching a friends kids, taking care of your nieces FOR A FREAKIN WEEK! But I always try to stop and remember that I am doing my best and that's what counts.
I really had a hard time with this when I first started blogging. I even considered not reading blogs anymore, but I didn't want to miss out on all the good in my life that came from it so I decided to try and conquer these feelings instead. I think the thing that helped me the most was to try to remember that we don't see everything that goes on in others lives. For example some may think that my life is darn near perfect, a great new house, good kids, a great hubby, etc. But would they want to trade me if they knew that I struggle with depression/anxiety? Something that oftentimes seems to take away the ability to enjoy all the wonderful things in my life? Probably not. We all have different joys and blessings and we all carry different burdens. All of which can help make us stronger and better daughters of God.
Thanks again for sharing this today, it's always a blessing to know that your not alone.
Friday, July 06, 2007 5:01:00 PM
Oh my honus! You have a ton of great supporters here! I only read my sista's comment ;) She is older and wiser than I -haha!
We all need a kick in the pants once in awhile -that's why we hang the dang signs in the 1st place -to be reminded - the cool thing is when we have our ah ha moment & take note ;)Glad you shared!Janae
Friday, July 06, 2007 5:48:00 PM
So much wonderful advice. I know that jealousy among women is one of Satans most powerful tools. He wants us to tear each other and ourselves down. Of course we know that Heavenly Father wants the exact opposite for us, to lift each other. That is so hard to do when we are feeling envy.
Hope you have a happy weekend!
Friday, July 06, 2007 6:27:00 PM
wow you have a ton of comments on this one.. great post.. it is something so many people struggle with... I know when we go to visit utah that I would easily fall into that jealousy thing.. there seems to be money everywhere....huge homes everywhere... barbie dolls everywhere....so I would easily be feeling jelous.. even though I would love to live close to my sisters in utah.. I think I am here in wa.. to kinda help me with that whole jelousy thing.. money is just not what it is about.. happiness is really being happy with what you have.. my sister in lehi was just telling me about visiting with neighbors who all seem to be independently wealthy.. and she was feeling down.. well we just dont' know the whole story.. not that it matters.. but I think of people all over the world who are happy with so little.. we are blessed to live in america and have the opportunities we do have...thanks for sharing your thoughts... love your real feelings- that we all share!
just my 2cents!
Friday, July 06, 2007 7:05:00 PM
Don't you love those "aha" moments? Whenever I have those jealous feelings, I look at my family. These beautiful human beings that my husband and I created and the "green" feelings fade. I am so lucky for what I do have. I wish I could be at the blog party. Did you decide on having it at your house again or at a different venue?
Saturday, July 07, 2007 2:10:00 AM
I think we all go through times like this. It's nice that when those feelings come you have an aha moment at the same time and are quickly reminded of how good your life is, how many people would want to trade places with you. You, I forget how relative it all is. What you have someone may want more than anything and what they have you might trade for in a heart beat, but I know we need to be happy where we are because ultimately we will take are frustrations with us and it would manifest itself elsewhere.
Saturday, July 07, 2007 8:49:00 AM
I think it's cool you talked about your feelings of jealousy. I think so much of the time nobody will mention this and everyone just assumes that everyone else has the perfect life, money, all the stuff we want, etc, etc.
I think it's interesting that Jen said she was coveting your life. That's the way it always seems to happen doesn't it?
I don't know that I necessarily look at other people and think that's what I want, but I definitely think of the things that I would want and wonder why I don't have them. But that always gets me in to trouble. I need to learn to have more gratitude too.
Saturday, July 07, 2007 9:57:00 AM
jill, we should go to lunch. i know EXACTLY how you feel. let's talk.
Saturday, July 07, 2007 10:54:00 AM
jill i am so late in commenting but i must say one word
ratatoille....i don't even know how to spell it.....that summed it all up...of course, not being a rat....but the whole movie was MOI
Saturday, July 07, 2007 11:51:00 AM
Hi Jill, late to read the post, but I can totally relate to how you are feeling. Right now we are in an old (early 1900's house) rental, paying more than seems fair, and not really getting anywhere, I have couches that are more than 10 years old (I HATE them!), and I have serious jealousy issues too. I know someday it won't be this way, but it is hard to sit around and wait when I see others with gorgeous homes, etc. Anyway, I like what you said about finding the joy and the gratitude for what we do have. I think its time for me to start counting blessings and stop counting the eggs I don't have yet.
Monday, July 09, 2007 10:58:00 AM