Holocau$t™ News: Washington--Israeli Embassy spokesperson "Bennie" Thugstein announced today that Israel will close its embassies in New York and DC due to a lack of qualified personnel.

"We're in a real bind here. Many of our best administrators have been hired by President Obama to fill his cabinet with Zionists and Israeli-Firsters. While that makes us extremely happy, it also leaves us short of key people needed to staff our combination embassy/MOSSAD hangouts," said Thugstein.

Thugstein also said that "While we probably could get some help from our good friends at the AIPAC Lobby, that wouldn't be much help, since their forte is bribing and corrupting the U.S. Congress and not running a bureaucracy."

Thugstein added that they might promote some key MOSSAD personnel to upper echelon positions, but that they were so busy now creating conditions for the next false-flag against America, that they wouldn't have enough time to devote to running the day to day operations of the embassies.

"We also talked with our good friends on Wall Street and tried to recruit some, but they said they hand their hands full, literally, looting American pension funds and 401K retirement accounts and couldn't part with any of their staff, so we'll just have to bite the bagel and for now, close some embassies until this staffing shortage is over."

Reporting from Washington, this is Moe Ronn for Holocau$t™ News