If the gender and age of the person carrying a fannypack is a male over the age of eighteen, there's a 90% chance that he's carrying a weapon in said fannypack. If so, there's an 80% chance that weapon is a firearm.
If the gender and age of the person is female and between 12 and 50, there's a 98% chance she's carrying a feminine hygiene product in the fannyback. Most males fear these more than firearms.
If the person wearing the fanny pack is between the ages of 27 and 98, there is a 95% chance that the fanny packer has no idea that other people are embarrassed to be seen with him/her. If the person accompanying the fanny packer is between the ages of 10 and 16, there is a 100% chance that they are completely mortified. Gender and fanny pack contents are irrelevant.
1:34 PM
Anonymous said...
Be aware that to the British, 'rummaging in a fanny pack' is a felony offence.
5:55 AM
If you must wear a fanny pack at all times, please be considerate of others when removing personal items. Loose cigarettes, data projector cords, matches, utensils (especially knives) and saltine packets should not be placed on the reference desk while you search for a pencil. Ask to borrow a pencil. No one wants to know the contents of your fanny pack. Ever.
"Fanny packs, Contents and Sharing of"
4 Comments -
A corollary:
If the gender and age of the person carrying a fannypack is a male over the age of eighteen, there's a 90% chance that he's carrying a weapon in said fannypack. If so, there's an 80% chance that weapon is a firearm.
11:41 AM
If the gender and age of the person is female and between 12 and 50, there's a 98% chance she's carrying a feminine hygiene product in the fannyback. Most males fear these more than firearms.
12:18 PM
If the person wearing the fanny pack is between the ages of 27 and 98, there is a 95% chance that the fanny packer has no idea that other people are embarrassed to be seen with him/her. If the person accompanying the fanny packer is between the ages of 10 and 16, there is a 100% chance that they are completely mortified. Gender and fanny pack contents are irrelevant.
1:34 PM
Be aware that to the British, 'rummaging in a fanny pack' is a felony offence.
5:55 AM