tormp

My blogs

Industry	Military
Location	Seattle, WA, Congo - Brazzaville
Introduction	i am left, nuzzled against the mottled belly of a lactating nannie. i accept sustenance from the supple paps and shelter from the elements, recumbent in the warm lap of the herd. it grows hard to deny my inadequacies. the bucks are on to my calculated avoidance of direct cranial contact. the does shirk my ruminative way, my artless parody of their motion, my poor dissemblance of alpine musk, my clumsy mounting, my hapless bleating. that afternoon on the hillside, my manual technique of drawing the half-digested wheat-grass back from my gut seemed to be upsetting the herd less than usual. though as memories age and wander untended over their borders, the fondest recollection seems tainted with conspiracy, the benign bovid stares given a simmering malice. my ears pricked to an unusual distressed honk, a less guttural bleat, a youth affecting the rhotic cast of my own voice. i yearned so for affection that i took for camaraderie what was coarse mockery, my speech exaggerated for the comic delight of the foraging mass. i turned around. next, my sleep is an ocean of pain. i lunged for air only to find myself floating in the grass, the sun long gone. those fucking goats had left me.
Interests	wood legged goats, stiff legged goats, fainting goats, myotonic goats, kentucky meat goats

You've been invited to a fancy ball but the only thing you have to wear is an orange wooly jumper. What shoes do you wear?

wooly jumper? is that supposed to be funny? damn you people.