The Yeetle Box

6 Non-Scary Sex Toys to Try Tonight Sex, Love & Life: glamour.com

2009-07-05T16:06:00.001-05:00

6 Non-Scary Sex Toys to Try Tonight Sex, Love & Life: glamour.com

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Yeetle Box - Happy 4th of July

2009-07-04T19:13:00.002-05:00

One of the most enduring myths about Independence Day is that Congress signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776.The myth had become so firmly established that, decades after the event and nearing the end of their lives, even the elderly Thomas Jefferson and John Adams had come to believe that they and the other delegates had signed the Declaration on the fourth. Most delegates actually signed the Declaration on August 2, 1776.

In a remarkable series of coincidences, both John Adams and Thomas Jefferson, two founding fathers of the United States and the only two men who signed the Declaration of Independence to become president, died on the same day: July 4, 1826, which was the United States' 50th anniversary.
President James Monroe died exactly five years later, on July 4, 1831, but he was not a signatory to the Declaration of Independence.

I'm sorry, but the Fourth of July has past.
Whatever you're doing, stop doing it.

The YeetleMaster

Yeetle Box - What Were YOU Thinking

2009-06-22T18:32:00.006-05:00

Across the United States of America,

where marketing departments work,

there is a thought that runs through our heads:

What the hell were you thinking?

all across the United States of America...

The YeetleMaster

Yeetle Box - In The Name Of Love

2009-06-17T10:55:00.004-05:00

An Egyptian man, in protest at his parents' choice of bride, cut off his own penis, a police official laughed.

The 25-year-old labourer from the village of Sheikh Eissa in southern Egypt was taken to hospital in stable condition, the official said, adding that the man had also mutilated his testicles. "He did a pretty good job," he added, chuckling. "Whack, whack, whack..."

The official sat down, sipping a beer.

"He was in love with a woman for two years, but his parents rejected her. They told him to marry another woman he didn't want. He took a knife and cut off his penis in his room."

The official guzzled the rest of the beer.

"I guess he really did not want her."

Doctors were unable to reattach the severed member, the official added.

"He'll never walk like an Egyptian again," he laughed, throwing the bottle into the street.

The penis has not been located to date.

The YeetleMaster

Yeetle Box - Poetry In My Span Box

2009-06-15T15:40:00.003-05:00

Read your spam. You might be surprised.

Spammers have searched tirelessly to find wasy to escape spam filters. In doing so, spammers have created a genre of poetry. To be sure, you are still directed to links for enrolling in online college programs, swatches, and bestiality.

But the beautful poetry that accompanies spam is well worth turning off your spam filter, sitting back, and reading some of the greatest poets today. Here are a three of the better spam poetica I have found within just the last 24 hours.

++++++++++
Virgin Black Lamenting Kissgotoreal

a man who...

And what's Steve talking about
in his paranoid of a potential?

She's called that b/c
She only likes taking her clothes
1/2 off

The How
good is it to live in California
[via] Datamancer
created an
On the way back
from a day long meeting
in Charleston

-shapiro mauricio
++++++++++
Rachel Hunter Showing on Beach

Ishmael Leaped To His Feet,
And His Followers Struggled
To Arm Them-selves
With Crude Implements.

-Alemtsehay Giuffre

++++++++++

Wow

Fat pussyGarden

Harvest Lemon topless
Young teen girls

and this
Burned my damn finger

the phones
Made it back from lunch

just in time

-bartel bren

++++++++++

Impressed? I was!

Do not ignore these literary gems.
Read your spam!

For more, visit Spam Poetica

The YeetleMaster

Yeetle Box - Hugo Chavez Versus Coke Zero

2009-06-11T12:34:00.004-05:00

The Venezuelan government of U.S.-critic President Hugo Chavez ordered Coca-Cola Co to withdraw its Coke Zero beverage from the South American nation, citing unspecified dangers to health. These unspecified dangers to health have been known to the U.S. for many years. For one, it's chocked full of caffeine, and you can't run an orderly revolution when your people are jacked up on Coke. For another, it makes people sing corny songs. (See below.)

The decision follows a wave of nationalizations and increased scrutiny of businesses in South America's top oil exporter. Health Minister Jesus Mantilla said the zero-calorie Coke Zero should no longer be sold and stocks of the drink removed from store shelves. And the cans crushed under the feet of revolutionaries.

"The product should be withdrawn from circulation to preserve the health of Venezuelans," the minister said in comments reported by the government's news agency. "We suspect Coke is causing our people to behave like capitalists."

Despite Chavez's anti-capitalist policies and rhetoric against consumerism, oil-exporting Venezuela remains one of Latin America's most Americanized cultures, with U.S. fast-food chains, shopping malls and baseball all highly popular. But Coke...now that's different. Artificial sweeteners don't sit well with Venazualians.

Neither Coca-Cola nor the bottler responded to requests for comment on Wednesday. The bottler was plagued with labor problems last year in Venezuela when former workers repeatedly blocked its plants demanding back pay to which Coke responded with a firm, "We're trying to teach the world to sing."

The government this year has seized a rice mill and pasta factory belonging to U.S. food giant Cargill and has threatened action against U.S. drug company Pfizer on the grounds that their medicines are detrimental to the people's health.

Coke has sent Bono and Brad Pitt as envoys to help resolve this matter.

The YeetleMaster

Yeetle Box - Bob Dylan

2009-06-11T12:24:00.002-05:00

The poem a oeLittle Buddya , which was considered to be singer Bob Dylan's original work, is apparently actually an old country song. Huh! Imagine that? Just another tidbit for the bio.

The YeetleMaster

Yeetle Box - When Words Collide

2009-06-07T17:28:00.001-05:00

The Yeetlemaster

Yeetle Box - Hell Hath No Fure...

2009-06-03T18:50:00.005-05:00

"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned,

Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned."

--William Congreve

First case in point:

A Moscow woman, identified only as Kira V., which narrows it down significantly, reacted "inappropriately" when her boyfriend, Alik, rejectied her marriage proposal. Kira, who had been living with Alik D. for two years decided to suggest the idea of marriage to her partner. Alik refused Kira's proposal, stating he would rather go back to his first wife than marry Kira V.

So, he began packing and moving out of the apartment they had shared for two years.

But Kira V. did not like this at all.

When Alik started moving out Kira suggested they have a farewell dinner - to celebrate thoe good times. After a hearty meal and some heavy drinking, Alik fell asleep. What Kire V. did next rivals Misery, tying several firecrackers to Alik's penis and exploded them.

This startled Alik. He woke with a bang, so to speak, and, soon after, was rushed to the hospital.

Alik is currently in critical condition.

Kira faces a minimum 12-year sentence if Alik survives. If he does not survive - which would be the good new - she is free. However, it is unlikely she will ever get another date or boyfriend.

==================================================

Second case in point:

Camilla Fields, a shoplifter from Memphis, Tenn., was stopped by a loss prevention officer at a local Wal-Mart. The officer approached Fields as she attempted to leave the store with several unpaid items. These items included razor blades, condoms, and whipped cream - an odd assortment of items.

When the officer approached, Fields hurled a car seat, containing her 2-month-old nephew, at the officer and escaped in a blue Ford Escort. The baby hit the concrete face-first, but was immediately helped by paramedics. The baby is fine. The child's mother, Stacey Cleaves was in the bathroom during the entire incident.

Fields was captured and faces charges of child abuse and neglect and assault - for throwing a baby...in a car seat...at officers...in a Wal-Mart...where you save money, live better.

The Mourning, Act 3, Scene 2 : read it.

The YeetleMaster

Yeetle Box - News We Don't Need

2009-05-29T17:56:00.006-05:00

CHINA - A Chinese man was pushed off a bridge by an angry passer-by after his threat to commit suicide held up traffic for five hours, Chinese media reported on Saturday. Retired soldier Lian Jiansheng (66) broke through a police cordon and reached out to shake the hand of would-be jumper Chen Fuchao before shoving him off the bridge.

“I pushed him off because jumpers like Chen are very selfish. Their action violates a lot of public interests,” Lai was quoted as saying by the China Daily newspaper.

GERMANY - A would-be gangster shot himself in the crotch when his gun went off half-cocked in his pocket. Lukas Neuhardt (27) had forgotten to put the safety catch on when he stuffed the gun into his trouser pocket to impress pals in Saarbruecken, Germany. He told paramedics that a masked mugger had blasted him in the crotch in a bungled robbery. But police found a hole in his statement when they saw that the gunshot had miraculously left his trousers intact.

And finally...

NEW ZEALAND - A three-year-old New Zealand girl bought a mechanical digger for £8 000 while her parents were asleep. Pipi Quinlan logged onto the family computer and got on to an online auction site her mum had been using earlier. She then submitted what turned out to be a winning bid of 20 000 New Zealand dollars for a massive Kobelco digger, the Rodney Times reports.

The YeetleMaster

Yeetle Box - Cutié Leaves Church For Church

2009-05-28T20:09:00.007-05:00

A popular Miami priest and media personality known as "Father Oprah" has left the Catholic Church to become an Anglican after he was photographed cavorting on the beach with his girlfriend - an act which goes against the Catholic church's staunch stand against cavorting with women.

The Rev. Alberto Cutié was removed from his Miami Beach church after photos of him kissing and embracing a woman appeared in the pages of a Spanish-language magazine earlier this month. And by removed, we mean ousted, thrown out on his can, dispatched.

However, determined to spread the word of Gawwd while still cavorting, Cui"tie was received into the Episcopal Church, the U.S. branch of the Anglican Communion, in a ceremony Thursday at Trinity Cathedral where he was greeted as a liberator and masterful media mogul. He may later announce he will marry his girlfriend, which is allowed in that denomination. Strike that, he WILL marry his girlfriend.

But, he must complete other requirements before serving as an Episcopal priest:

He must denounce the Catholic church.
He must write a 1,000 word essay on cavorting for distribution throughout the Episcopalians.
He must thank God for the many in his community who have shown him their love.

Said Father Oprah, "I thank God for the many people in our community who have shown me their love and support. Your prayers have truly sustained me at this time of transition in my life. With God's help, I hope to continue priestly ministry and service - and cavort - in my new spiritual home."

Anti-celibacy priest' Cutié has previously said he supports the Catholic Church's stand that priests should be celibate and does not want to become the "anti-celibacy priest." He wants to be the deflowered anti-celibacy priest.

The Cuban-American priest was born in Puerto Rico and previously hosted shows on the Spanish-language channel Telemundo. He is also a syndicated Spanish-language columnist and author of the book "Real Life, Real Love: 7 Paths to a Strong, Lasting Relationship." The book has sold well among Mormons and Episcopalians, but poorly among Catholics.

He headed the archdiocese's Radio Paz and Radio Peace broadcasts, heard throughout the Americas and in Spain, and earned the nickname "Father Oprah" — as in talk show host Oprah Winfrey — for his relationship advice.

Earlier this month, Cutié told CBS he has been romantically involved with the woman in the photos for about two years after being friends for much longer.

"I believe that I've fallen in love, and I believe that I've struggled with that, between my love for God, and my love for the Church and my love for service," Cutié said. He made no mention of his love for the woman - which is a really bad move for a guy who wants to cavort with that woman.

After the scandal, more than 100 Ditto Heads gathered outside Cutié's former parish in Miami Beach, waving posters and chanting their forgiveness following the scandal.

Cutié wiped the tears from his eyes, and said, "They just don't know how hard it's been."

The YeetleMaster

Yeetle Box - Gorillas Among Us

2009-05-25T17:54:00.006-05:00

Fond du Lac police are on the lookout for a person dressed in a gorilla suit who tried to steal large styrofoam bananas from displays at three Kwik Trip stores this week

"Somebody dressed in a gorilla suit entered the store and was apparently trying to take a large banana that they had as part of a banana display," Police Capt. Steve Klein said. "Fortunately, the banans are not edible."

The costumed individual tried to steal the banana from the Kwik Trip on Park Street around 12:30 a.m. Wednesday and then moved on to another Kwik Trip store on Johnson Street and attempted the same crime, guarenteeing this would be labeled as The Kwik Trip Crime Spree.

"I laughed a little bit. I looked at our camera and watched it, had a few more laughs and I just let everyone know, ‘Hey, we have a gorilla on the loose,’" Kwik Trip manager Marissa Erber said. "I didn't consider the gorilla suited individual might have a weapon under that suit. I just laughed."

An employee at her Park Street store tried to unmask the ape and discovered the gorilla was a woman, but police still haven't ruled anyone out. "One woman dressed as a gorilla does not mean we have captured the culprit. There could me hundred, maybe thousands, of these poeple out there - not to mention real gorillas."

"She tried to grab it and leave the store with it, but the third-shift worker kind of convinced her to lay it on the floor and she ran out," Erber said.

But police said the banana beckoned again Wednesday night and the gorilla was caught on tape, returning for a third, more fruitful try. "

The person walked in with the gorilla suit, yanked the banana down from the display and went out the front door," Klein said.The Park Street store is planning to lay banana bait to try and catch the thief - an idea first brought to their attention from re-runs of Barney Miller.

"We're going to hang it up again tomorrow and see what happens," Erber said. "Now, everyone step aside. Nothing to see here."

The YeetleMaster

Yeetle Box - Bank Error Creates Fugitives

2009-05-24T09:51:00.005-05:00

New Zealand police have launched an international search for a couple who fled with millions of dollars after NZ$10 million (US$6.05 million) was accidentally deposited into their bank account.
Detective Senior Sergeant David Harvey of New Zealand Police said in a statement on Thursday that an investigation team was working with Westpac Bank on the case. In New Zealand, bank errors in favor of the customer carry a sentence exceeding the death penalty.

New Zealand's news agency NZPA said the couple, who ran a gas station in the northern city of Rotorua, had applied to Westpac Bank for a NZ$10,000 overdraft but 1,000 times that amount was paid into their account in error. The employee who made the error is quoted as saying, "Blimey, mate."

"The individuals associated with this account are believed to have left New Zealand and police (are) working through Interpol to locate those individuals," Harvey said in a statement. Harvey, of course, from the famed Jimmy Stewart, now a retired actor, works undercover on bank fraud cases.

"Westpac Bank has recovered some of the money which had been inappropriately withdrawn and have charged overdraft fees to the fugitives."

The bank refused to say how much of the money had been recovered or give any other details, nor comment on which country the couple may have fled to - ending his sentence in a preposition which carries 10 - 15 years in New Zealand.

But local newspaper The Rotorua Review quoted a source saying that a police liaison officer was sent to China recently to search for the couple. Said a local reporter for the paper, "It's as good a place as any to start."
Westpac refused to confirm the amount of money missing as they had not yet counted how much was missing, but in a statement said the bank was "pursuing vigorous criminal and civil action to recover the sum of money stolen." Vigorous banks, as everyone knows, can be very cranky.

Banking ombudsman Liz Brown told Rotorua's The Daily Post newspaper that generally it was a criminal offence for people to spend money that was accidentally put into their bank account if they knew it did not belong to them. "Generally speaking," she said, "it's not right. If the money is placed in your account, we generally don't like you to take it out and spend it - generally speaking."

In her 15 years as banking ombudsman she said she had been involved in 10 to 20 cases of this kind which were legally referred to as "payment by mistake" - or, as the ordinary citizen might say, "the lottery."

The YeetleMaster

Yeetle Box - Clean Teeth Changes Race

2009-05-22T20:27:00.002-05:00

But then it changed my race.

The YeetleMaster

Yeetle Box - Of Asparagus and the Man I Sing

2009-05-19T19:52:00.002-05:00

German police are searching for a motorist who beat a 24-year-old woman selling white asparagus because he was upset about her asking price for the coveted springtime vegetable. He was last seen with a Caesar Salad he has stolen from his neighbor.

The prices for white asparagus, sometimes called "edible ivory" in Germany, fluctuate wildly during the short springtime season, peaking early in the season at 10 euros (or about ten bucks) per kilo. Most asparagus goes for 1 to 5 euros.

The man screamed at the woman that her asparagus was overpriced. "Sie sind ein capatilist Schwein. Keirkagaard würde über Sie beschämt sein." He then punched her in the face and threatened to unleash his attack dog at her - a toy German spitz. "Sie sind ein Irres," she shouting as she fled to call the police.

"Der Kraftfahrer sagte, dass ihre Preise total über der Oberseite waren," said Dietmar Keck, police spokesman in the Havelland district west of Berlin, without saying how much she was asking.

Prices for asparagus now range from 1 to 5 euros per kilo, he said. Some 55,000 tons valued at 175 million euros are harvested annually. "Der Kraftfahrer sagte, dass ihre Preise total über der Oberseite waren," he said. "Aber der Spitz war Ausweg der Linie."

Police are holding the man for questioning in hopes of finding the best price of white asparagus.

Das YeetleMaster

Yeetle Box - A Commercial Break

2009-05-16T01:58:00.002-05:00

And now
my gums and lips are
ruby red!

The YeetleMaster

The Yeetle Box - Between a Rocik and a Hard Place

2009-05-15T20:59:00.006-05:00

Losing a job can be a sickeningly stressful experience. It can make you feel down, cause stress that effects normal functioning. It's just not good.

But wait! You can keep taking your medicine.Pfizer, one of the world's largest biopharmaceutical companies, launched a program Thursday providing medications free of charge to unemployed, uninsured Americans for up to a year. Pfizer?

The initiative, called the Medicines Assistance for Those who Are In Need (MAINTAIN) program - which took the entire marketing department to brand, enables Americans who have lost their jobs and health insurance this year to keep taking 70 of Pfizer's most common brand-name medications, including cholesterol-drug Lipitor, arthritis medication Celebrex and impotence treatment Viagra. This will help those with high cholestoral, arthirtis, and penile dysfunction - the most common ailments for which treatment is sought.

"This is about understanding the environment and the economy. We are in unprecedented times and people need help," said Pfizer spokesman Ray Kerins as he pawed at his pants with his arthritic hand.

"We all know people who have been laid off recently and have lost their health insurance, making it difficult for them to pay for health care," said Dr. Jorge Puente, Pfizer's regional president of worldwide pharmaceuticals in a statement. "We thought there must be some way we could help recently unemployed people who are taking Pfizer medicines to continue treatment during these challenging economic times. Hell, even we, a multibillion conglomerate have laid off as many as 800 researchers in a tacit admission that our laboratories have failed to live up to the tens of billions of dollars it has poured into them in recent years."

Puente helped conceive of the program during an employee training meeting during which talk drifted to the recession, says Kerins. Employees began sharing stories of friends and relatives who were unemployed and could no longer afford their medicine, and Puente suggested, to his outstoundment, what eventually became the MAINTAIN program.

To be eligible, Pfizer customers must:

Have lost their job since Jan. 1, 2009.

Have been taking a Pfizer medication for at least three months prior to becoming unemployed and enrolling in the program.

Lack prescription drug coverage.

Attest to financial hardship.

Demonstrate a limp penis.

Kerins would not disclose how many Pfizer customers the company believes will take advantage of the program or what the cost may be to Pfizer throughout the year, nor how much they save in marketing.

"We have done our due diligence," said Kerins. "The reality is it's not about that. This is about helping people and we want people to take advantage of this program ... if you need medication, you should not be without it."

Hey, Pfizer, my penis is flailing!

To learn more about the MAINTAIN program call 1-866-706-2400 or visit www.PfizerHelpfulAnswers.com.

It could save your marriage.

The YeetleMaster

Yeetle Box - Dead Mother Collects Government Benefits

2009-05-08T22:20:00.007-05:00

A Florida woman has been indicted for keeping her dead mother's body in a bedroom for six years while collecting more than $200,000 in pension benefits, U.S. prosecutors said on Thursday.

Penelope Sharon Jordan of Sebastian, Florida, was charged by a federal grand jury last week with Social Security fraud and theft, the U.S. Attorney's Office in Miami said. No charges for keeping a rotting corpse in the bedroom were leveled.

Police found the decaying body of her mother, Timmie Jordan, on a bed in a spare bedroom at the mother's home in late March, when they were called to investigate a report of nuisance cats. Dead cats, it turns out. Penelope Jordan told police her mother had died in 2003, so what does she have to do with this?

The indictment alleged Jordan concealed her mother's death in order to receive both her U.S. Social Security benefits and her military survivor's benefit. Her attorney stated the fact that she did not conceal the body left her blameless and proved that government entitlement programs were highly inefficient.

Jordan collected $61,415 from Social Security and $176,461 from the military pension during the six years, prosecutors said - which is equivalent to less than $40,000 per year. A pittance for the amount of work she did keeping her moth in the house.

She could face up to 15 years in prison.

Local media reported that the 61-year-old woman told police her mother died of old age and she kept the remains because she couldn't afford burial expenses. Rather, she chose to let her rot slowly until she could disposed of the remains through conventional waste management.

An autopsy found no signs of foul play. An autopsy of Ms. Jordan would have revealed something much different.

According to a local paper, police found many cats on Jordan's property but she denied they were hers. She stated the cats belonged to her mother.

(Reporting by Jim Loney, editing by Jane Sutton and Sandra Maler, guest writer / editor The YeetleMaster.)

The YeetleMaster

Yeetle Box - Face Off

2009-05-05T20:28:00.007-05:00

BEFORE

Five years ago, a shotgun blast left a ghastly hole where the middle of her face had been. Five months ago, she received a new face from a dead woman. Sound like fiction?

Connie Culp stepped forward Tuesday to show off the results of the nation’s first face transplant, and her new look was a far cry from the puckered, noseless sight that made children run away in horror. Instead, children gawk at the dead woman's face that lies over Connie's old face.

Culp’s expressions are still a bit wooden (as in "you might feel a little pressure), but she can talk, smile, smell and taste her food again. Her speech is at times a little tough to understand - some might say impaired. Her face is bloated and squarish, and her skin droops in big folds that doctors plan to pare away as her circulation improves and her nerves grow, animating her new muscles. Yes, the re-animator has arrived.

But Culp had nothing but praise for those who made her new face possible.

“I guess I’m the one you came to see today,” the 46-year-old Ohio woman said at a news conference at the Cleveland Clinic, where the groundbreaking operation was performed. But “I think it’s more important that you focus on the donor family that made it so I could have this person’s face. It's a bit strange and will cause confusion among surviving family members, but this is my face now.”

Culp said she wants to help foster acceptance of those who have suffered burns and other disfiguring injuries by demonstrating lack of self-acceptance.

“When somebody has a disfigurement and don’t look as pretty as you do, don’t judge them, because you never know what happened to them,” she said. “Don’t judge people who don’t look the same as you do. Because you never know. One day it might be all taken away. It's inside a person that counts, except for the face. That's where we must draw the line.”

AFTER AND STILL AFTER
Once while shopping, she heard a little kid say, "You said there were no real monsters, mommy, and there’s one right there." Culp stopped and said, “I’m not a monster. I’m a person who was shot,” and pulled out her driver’s license to show the child what she used to look like - then pulled him close to her face and whispered, "Feel lucky, punk? Well, do ya?"

Culp left the hospital Feb. 5 and has returned for periodic follow-up care. She has suffered only one mild rejection episode that was controlled with a single dose of steroid medicines. She must take immune-suppressing drugs for the rest of her life, but her dosage has been greatly reduced and she needs only a few pills a day.

In your face!

The YeetleMaster

Yeetle Box - Someone Turn Off The Dog!

2009-05-02T01:44:00.005-05:00

Universally known for their continued contributions to modern medicine, South Korean scientists say they have engineered four beagles that glow red using cloning techniques that could help develop cures for human diseases that cause people to glow.

The four dogs, all named "Ruppy" — a combination of the words "ruby" and "puppy" — look like typical beagles by daylight.

But they glow red under ultraviolet light, and the dogs' nails and abdomens, which have thin skins, look red even to the naked eye. This is an enormous breakthrough with massive implications.

Seoul National University professor Lee Byeong-chun, head of the research team, called them the "world's first transgenic dogs" carrying fluorescent genes, an achievement that goes beyond just the glowing novelty or the color red.

"What's significant in this work is not the dogs expressing red colors but that we planted genes into them," Lee said. "This is an achievement we hope will result in a Nobel prize or, at least, a blue ribbon.

But wait! Didn't scientists in the U.S., Japan and Europe previously clone fluorescent mice and pigs? Yes, but this would be the first time dogs with modified genes have been cloned successfully, Lee said, glowingly.

He said his team took skin cells from a beagle, inserted fluorescent genes into them and put them into eggs before implanted them into the womb of a surrogate mother, a local mixed breed named George Cloney.

Six female beagles were born in December 2007 through a cloning with a gene that produces a red fluorescent protein that make them glow, he said. Two died, but the four others survived.

The glowing dogs show it is possible to successfully insert genes with a specific trait, which could lead to implanting other, non-fluorescent genes that could help treat specific diseases, Lee said. "Invisibility is not out of the question," he stated with a straight face.

A South Korean scientist who created glowing cats in 2007 based on a similar cloning technique said that Lee's puppies are genuine clones, saying he had seen them and had read about them in the journal. He even heard some talk of them at the university.

"We can appraise this is a step forward" toward finding cures for human diseases, said veterinary professor Kong Il-keun at South Korea's Gyeongsang National University. "What is important now is on what specific diseases (Lee's team) will focus on. Might it be acne? Possibly."

Lee was a key aide to disgraced scientist Hwang Woo-suk (pronounced "Wang! You suck!), whose breakthroughs on stem cell research were found to have been made using faked data, thereby failing to meet the definition of a breakthrough.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

The YeetleMaster

Yeetle Box - Republicans Implement Non-Strategy

2009-04-30T18:50:00.006-05:00

Republican leaders announced Thursday—after leaking it before President Obama's press conference Wednesday—the creation of a new group called the National Council for a New America - not to be confused with the Project for a New American Century (PNAC).

It's easier to say what the NCNA isn't than what it is. It's not a nonprofit—or a for-profit. Maybe it's non-for profit?

But, it's not a fundraising organization.

It's not a partisan apparatus or subwing of the RNC.

It's not a social gathering or a pig roast.

Maybe it's just a bunch of guys hanging out together playing darts.

It is, in the words of an NCNA spokesman, "a caucus seeking to find the solutions that will improve the lives of every American." All along, we, the public, thought that was Congress. We must have been wrong.

OK. So what does the NCNA do? Over the next few months, the NCNA will hold a series of town-hall meetings around the country in order to "engage people in a discussion" and drum up new conservative policy ideas. New ones. Not the old ones. New Republican ideas, like...then there's...oh, and we can't forget.....

The point, according to one of its founders, is to "take the discussion outside of Washington, to make sure ideas shaping policy here in Washington is coming from outside and from the American people."

Sounds great. Like it was stolen from John McCain's playback during his presidential run. That went well.

So anyone can join? Yes! The NCNA is officially nonpartisan. Its introductory letter uses the word "Republican" only twice—once to emphasize that "this is not a Republican-only forum." The other to say it is a Republican idea.

So who's in charge of this nonpartisan organization?

Well, Republican House Minority Whip Eric Cantor is heading it up.

Then there's House Minority Leader John Boehner, John McCain, Mitt Romney, Haley Barbour, Jeb Bush, Bobby Jindal, Mike Pence, Pete Sessions, Roy Blunt, Mitch McConnell, Jon Kyl, Lamar Alexander, John Cornyn, and John Thune.

They've also reached out to Sarah Palin, but no word yet on whether she'll be participating. Normally, she doesn't carry a cell phone on her snow machine.

If you're wondering where the "nonpartisan" part comes in, you'll have to wait. The NCNA has not gotten around to inviting any Democrats yet. (Or to putting up a Web site, for that matter.) And no Democrats have thus far reported an interest in joining.

Dubious branding aside, the NCNA may be just what the Republican Party needs - the style of President Obama mixed with the confusion of the Republican party.

We expect very little to come from this latest effort by Republican leaders to "find themselves."

The YeetleMaster

Wonkette : Heckuva Job, FEMA

2009-04-29T19:32:00.002-05:00

The government agency that bungled the Hurrican Karina response has yanked a kiddie coloring book from its site called "A Scary Thing Happened" that depicts the burning twin towers on the cover - with a plane heading straight for one of them.

On page 12, the stomach-churning 9/11 image is repeated not once but three times, complete with flames - for kids to color.

"You might hear about it again and again on the T.V. or radio or read about it in the newspaper," it says on the page.

The Federal Emergency Management Association pulled the downloadable coloring book from its site last week — before a White House genius gave New York a 9/11 flashback by buzzing the city with one of the presidential planes and an F-16 jet.

"FEMA is currently reviewing all web content designed and posted by the previous administration," said FEMA spokesman Clark Stevens.

Meanwhile, New Yorkers who were shown the book saw just one color - red."I feel disrespected," said Jason Owens, 20, of Manhattan, who was with his 3-year-old son. "I feel like I should punch the person who did this in the face. Or maybe burn his twin towers!"

See the coloring book here:

FEMA Censors Weird 9/11 Coloring Book, For Kids!

Heckuva job!

The YeetleMaster

Yeetle Box - The Jesus and Virgin Mary World Tour

2009-04-26T19:04:00.003-05:00

Scheduled Public Appearances:

Dade City, Fla., February (Jesus in a stain on the door of a car-dealer sales manager's office).

Huntsville, Ala., February (Jesus on a rock on the side of Keel Mountain Road).

Near Helena, Mont., January (Mary on a translucent agate rock along the Yellowstone River).

Sydney, Australia, January (Mary and Jesus in a lava lamp).*

Hamilton, New Zealand, December (Jesus on a pita bread).

Melton, England, November (Jesus on a chocolate cookie).

Fort Pierce, Fla., December (Mary in the MRI brain scan of a cancer patient).

*Indicates the show is sold out.

Get your tickets now.

The YeetleMaster

Yeetle Box - People, Place, Things, and Concepts

2009-04-21T19:56:00.008-05:00

People, Places, Things, and Concepts

Drunk driving lesson

A Massachusetts driving instructor was intoxicated while giving a driving lesson. Daniel Winsky received eighteen months of probation from the incident, which occurred in December of 2007. Winsky also lost his license for one year. Winsky was not operating the vehicle, but had passenger side brakes in the driver instruction car. Prosecutors from the case also say that Winsky moved the steering wheel during the lesson. He was charged with riding while intoxicated.

Woman survives head shot

When officers arrived at the residence of Tammy Sexton, they were greeted by an unusual sight. Sexton had been shot in the head by her husband. The bullet had entered her forehead and exited out the back of her head. However, Sexton did not seem to know what had happened and was making tea when officers arrived on the scene - "teabagging" as Republicans call it. She offered the police officers a beverage. The police had seen enough. Sexton was rushed to the hospital and doctors expect a full recovery.

Tree splits house

John Kiefer was investigating a fallen tree in his backyard when another tree fell into his living room. The second tree was a fifty foot red oak and was the hit tree for the first tree. The red oak tree split the house in two - or, in half, depending on your logic. Kiefer had been sitting on the sofa just minutes before the red oak tree crashed into his Georgia home. The only items destroyed in the house were collectibles, a piano, and his Sarah Palin buttons. Luckily, Kiefer's three dogs were staying at a kennel. Police are questioning the dogs for possible clues.

Police welcome peacock

Oregon police have welcomed a new member, a female Indian peacock, named Cynthia. (Actually, it it's a femaile, it's a peahen, but these are Oregon police.) Cynthia was found, by sheriff's deputies, on a property next to the office. At first, the deputies asked different animal shelter organizations to care for Cynthia. None of the organizations could help, for they did not have the facilities for a peahen, though Cynthia spends most of her day eating bugs and drinking water. This is all while watching over the Sheriff's Department. Cynthia's owners have not come forward to claim her for fear that PETA will find out and all hell will break loose.

The YeetleMaster

Yeetle Box - Shoe-icide Bombers

2009-04-19T20:06:00.006-05:00

India's politicians contesting in the general election, fearful of shoes hurled at them by disgruntled voters, have asked for more security and are erecting metal nets at rallies to block the hurled shoes. These "shoe-icide" bombers express their displeasure with the politicians in a manner that is considered an insult in India. In Bangladesh, shoe throwing is considered a compliment.

Lal Krishna Advani, the Bharatiya Janata Party's (BJP) prime ministerial candidate was the latest politician to be at the receiving end Thursday, as an angry party worker threw a slipper at him during an election meeting in a central state. The slipper was embroidered with simple styling and perfectly accented. Moreover, it was handcrafted by leather artisans of Punjab in India designed for informal and casual and comfort wear for evenings.

The slipper missed Advani as it is well known that Indians could not hit the broadside of a barn while shoe hurling. However, the incident was enough for authorities to step up security for all leaders across the country.

ALL leaders! Lots of shoes.

Indian politicians have asked party workers to remove shoes at meetings and alerted police and their security staff to keep a tab on people, including journalists in news conferences, for anyone bending down or reaching toward their feet. Party workers are now identified as the "shoeless."

"The security is extremely tight for politicians, and we are keeping a close watch on everyone," a Delhi Police spokesman said. "We do not know if these attackers will turn to more lethal weapons like shirts or trousers, but we will be ready for any clothing hurled at our leaders."

Recent cases of shoe hurling

Last week, a Sikh journalist hurled a shoe at India's home minister during a news conference after getting angry with the minister's reply to a question about 1984 riots in which hundreds of Sikhs were killed. The shoes was bedazzling! The design of these beautifully crafted shoes were synchronous with the latest forms and fashions in men's fashion shoes. The use of colorful beads made them items to be cherished for years.
Three days later, a retired school teacher threw a shoe at popular Congress lawmaker Naveen Jindal, during an election rally in Haryana state. Styled for comfort and classy wear the highly colorful shoes suit the fashion taste of every individual. The intricate design and the use of best quality raw materials for decorating them make them a must item for everyone.

Authorities in Gujarat state built an iron safety net to keep flying shoes away, as Narendra Modi, the chief minister of the BJP-ruled state began his speech at a rally this week.

"These are acts of insanity, there is no scope for such acts in India's political system," Rajiv Pratap Rudy, the BJP's candidate in Bihar state where election was held Thursday said.

Activists supporting the shoe-hurlers are hoping to amend India's constitution to include shoe hurling under freedom of speech.

"Flying footwear are now the weapons of mass distraction," some from India was overheard to say.

The YeetleMaster