Something To Look Forward To

Adelaide

2006-03-13T13:07:00.000+11:00

Went to Adelaide for a long weekend. Flew over Friday night. Took in some of Adelaide's famous Festivals on Saturday and Sunday.

Things We Saw:

'Me, Ray Charles and Sammy Davis Jr.' (If Michael Jackson did Riverdance...)

'Rash', a film/doco on the street art scene in Melbourne (yes, we flew to Adelaide to see the graffiti in Melbourne).

'Evolutionary', a semi-comic, semi-serious lecture on how life evolved from prokaryotes to Paris Hilton. Very intelligent.

'Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead', fine theatre. ("What about Eternity, then? When's it gonna end?")

'Breakin' Ground', the first half was an ok hip-hop band who were pretty good if you like that sort of thing (and even okay if you don't), but the second half (billed as breakdancing') was excellent contempary dance, influenced (I guess) by hip-hop culture, but also set to lots of different music. I don't know what the kids (and the crowd was mostly aged 15 to 18) thought of the African folk music, or the Stravinsky, but the dancing was excellent.

And Eddie Perfect. Gleefully irreverent.

On the Monday we caught the tram to Glenelg. Strolled along the beach front and got it into our heads that it would be a good day for a round of Mini-Golf (or Putt-Putt, as it's sometimes known). A helpful hint for those of you who might want to play Mini-Golf in Adelaide: There is precisely one Mini-Golf course in Adelaide. It's in West Beach - a long hike from Glenelg. It'll take you over an hour and you'll probably get sunburned.

And it's closed on Mondays.

And I don't know why Adelaide has it's reputation for crime. We were there for three days, and only saw one guy being hauled off into a divvy van, and one taxi driver running down a pedestrian.*

Other stuff:

I go back to the doctor's tomorrow morning to see the results of my x-rays and blood tests. I have all of the pains that I have mentioned before, and they are looking for rheumatoid arthritis, or seronegative arthritis, or anklyospondylitis, or whatever. I secretly hope it's anklyospondylitis. It's not the best thing to have, being destructive to your joints and all, but it just sounds cool. Anklyospondylitis. Go on, say it with me: ank-ly-o-spon-dyl-i-tis. Is there a better name for a disease?

Still haven't bought a new car, but I have at least got a new housemate. I may have called the police on her first night here to stop her boyfriend trying to break in the back door, but it's all sorted now. (Well, I didn't know who he was. Nor did I know that she couldn't work the keys in the front door and sent him over the roof to get in. At three in the morning.)

I have also discovered that ohrwurm is what you call the song that gets annoyingly stuck in your head. It's from the German, and it means, literally, 'ear-worm'.

So;
Today's Ohrwurm:
Let's Open Up a Restaurant in Sante Fe, from Rent. My Lady Friend and I saw the film the other day.

* To be fair, the taxi driver only squeezed the pedestrian gently between the front of his taxi, and the back of the taxi in front. He was okay, and the taxi driver was very apologetic. It just worried us that we had been in Adelaide for about ten minutes when this happened at the taxi rank at the airport.

UPDATE:
The x-rays and stuff came back clear, so it's probably the seronegative arthritis, but we're off to a rheumatologist to see what he says.

Australistan

2006-02-14T22:29:00.000+11:00

The debate over the RU486 drug has really gone a bit crazy.

Exhibit A: Danna Vale

"I've actually read in The Daily Telegraph where a certain imam from the Lakemba mosque actually said that Australia's going to be a Muslim nation in 50 years' time."

"I didn't believe him at the time, but you know when you actually look at the birth rates and when you look at the fact that we are aborting ourselves almost out of existence by 100,000 abortions every year - and that's on a guesstimate."

"You multiply that by 50 years - that's 5 million potential Australians we won't have."

There are several problems here.

1) "I've actually read..." means "I saw somewhere that someone who sounds important^* said it. So it must be true."

2) The subtle distinction being made between 'us' and 'them'. We are aborting ourselves... she cries - implying, of course, that 'they' aren't.

3) 100,000 abortions every year. Is that really the expected figure for the next fifty years? Or are we just fear-mongering?

4) Even if it were true, what's the big deal? Why would more Muslims be a bad thing? What exactly are you saying about Islam, Danna?

5) And this one's not entirely on the topic, but weren't there race riots in Danna Vale's electorate barely two months ago?

Exhibit B: Jackie Kelly

"Ms Jackie Kelly said the lack of babies for adoption in Australia was leading to "a trade in babies" from overseas.

She said the West was "plundering" the developing world for children. This led to social problems in the countries from which the children were removed.

"You create a trade in babies which leads to some tragic decisions for a woman overseas," Ms Kelly said.

"You've got an option of selling a kid sort of on the sly to support your own children".

The West had to look to itself to solve its problems, she said.

The West has to look to itself to solve its problems. Exactly. We shouldn't have to plunder the third world for unwanted children. We could make our own home-grown unwanted children right here. We should be stimulating our own economy in 'baby trading'. And why stop there? If we produce enough unwanted babies, we could start exporting them ourselves.

When you remember that this debate is about whether a government minister should determine if a drug is safe, or whether it should be left to an expert committee, the whole thing becomes more and more bizarre.

* No insult intended to the imam of Lakemba mosque, Sheikh Shady Alsuleiman (no puns please). If Sheikh Shady happens to be reading this, please be aware that I'm sure you are a wise person, and that your statements could easily have been made in a proper and commonsensical context. I am aware that I don't actually know what that context was. The point is, I bet Danna doesn't know either.

The song that got annoyingly stuck in my head today:
An old 'Play School' tune that goes:
Put a spot over here,
and a spot over there.
Put a spot in your ear,
and a spot in your hair...

5 weird things

2006-02-03T22:50:00.000+11:00

Alright, I got tagged ages ago, so here it is...

The rules are: The first player of the game starts with the topic, "5 weird habits about yourself". And people who get tagged need to write an entry about their five weird habits, as well as state this rule clearly. In the end you need to choose the next 5 people to be tagged, and link to their web-journals. Don't forget to leave a comment in their blog/journal that says "you have been tagged" and tell them to read yours.

5 things...

1) I once received a three-monthly phone bill for $4,969 and zero cents. I have also kept the pages and pages of correspondance between me, the phone company, and the telecommunications ombudsman - who determined that the phone company behaved badly in allowing the debt to accumulate so highly before sending me a bill, thereby absolving me from paying for the 'premium' calls (largely to psychic hotlines) that were made over those three months. I have not kept in touch with the ex-housemate that made those calls.

2) I make sound effects to everyday actions, just to liven them up every now and then. I will reach for something and say "Yoink!" when I've grabbed it. I will make creaky-hinge noises as I come through a door, and glug-glug-glug noises while pouring a drink.

3) I have fire-walked.

4) During high school, I decided to memorise pi to 50 decimal places, just to see if I could do it. Then I went and accidentally remembered 55. I can still remember the first twenty (3.14159 26535 89793 43846), and the ones from 46 to 55 (37510 58209). What the middle 25 digits are I've got no idea (except that only one of them was a zero, and that zero was preceded by a five and followed by a two).

5) Sometimes incredibly useless information gets stuck in my head and is easily recalled (like pi, above), but if you asked me on Wednesday what I did on the weekend, I'd have to stop and think really hard before I remembered what I'd actually done. It drives my Lady Friend nuts.

I wasn't going to tag anyone, but then I remembered that some people don't blog enough and need a good ~~kick up the jacksie~~ bit of inspiration. So: My Brother, my Sister-in-Law, Jellyfish, TX Alexis, and, oh, that'll do.

6) Sometimes I break the rules just for the hell of it.

The song that got annoyingly stuck in my head today:
The ovalteenies ad jingle.

Possibly the most ridiculous blogquiz ever

2006-01-17T20:44:00.000+11:00

You are

What Rejected Crayon Are You?

Gosh. And only yesterday I was 'spank me pink'.

Happy New Year

2006-01-17T20:14:00.000+11:00

Well, I could have sworn that I blogged something last week. No? It really was the 29^th? Oh.

So, what's happened since then?

New Year's Eve

My Lady Friend and I went to a rather nifty little Japanese restaurant that's opened up around the corner. Free sake from 9 onwards - not served in glasses, but in these cute little lacquered wooden boxes which are quite tricky to drink from. Then we strolled down to the Yarra and watched the fireworks. Then experienced the wind shift to a northerly as we walked home through the Fitzroy Gardens. According to the paper, the city's temperature reached a mini-high of thirty-something ^oC at about 12.30am on New Year's Day, which didn't surprise us in the least.

My Car

It died. Snapped a camshaft on the Eastern Freeway. It has travelled it's last kilometre and gone to the great garage in the sky.

(Well, it's waiting for a wrecker to take it and crush it into a cube, but you get the drift.)

Vale Nuffi.

My Housemate

Or more to the point, my lack of housemate. Still no-one in the front room. But I'm talking to people (via email), so I should get someone in soon.

Grogblogging

Heaps of people were there - go see MrLefty or Agent Fare Evader or Governor-General Terry for more details of that night.

Birthday

I turned 30 last week. It doesn't actually bother me at all, which is strange, since I normally have a semi-crisis on my birthday that says I should have done more with my life by now and why have I wasted so much time? (For example, by the time Jimi Hendrix was my age, he'd been dead for three years.) This year, not so much. I think this is because I've finally strung together a couple of good years, so I'm happy with what I'm doing and where I'm going - despite a certain friend buying me a sympathy card instead of a birthday card. (You. Yes, you. You know who you are, and it's not that long till you're 30 too. You'll get what's coming to you, my friend, just you wait. Just. You. Wait.)

I also had dinner with family to celebrate the occasion. Post on the dinner from hell coming soon.

The song that got annoyingly stuck in my head today:
Eyes of the World, (Neil and Tim Finn).

Science, the old-school way.

2005-12-29T20:05:00.000+11:00

Occasionally, part of my job requires me to read through a scientific journal, work out what the hell they're on about, and then replicate that in our own lab.

Today was such a day.

This paper describes how oxygen gets redissolved in 'flat' water at different rates depending on the wind speed. There's not much work done in this field - why would you remove oxygen from water in order to put it back in naturally? As it turns out, we have a useful application for it, and I need to understand this particular journal article, because there aren't any others. Do not let the fact that this paper was written in 1955 bother you at all.

What does bother me is some of the short-cuts and assumptions they've used. I was becoming more worried as I read, and evidently they knew they were being a bit dodgy when they included this line:

There is, of course, a great deal of uncertainty in this finding, and the agreement may be entirely fortuitous.

For the non-technical out there, I'll translate:

We don't know where these numbers really come from, and the fact that it works is probably just dumb luck.

Ah, the good old days. You just can't do that sort of thing any more.

The song that got annoyingly stuck in my head today:
I Get A Kick Out Of You

More Tales from Foreign Lands

2005-12-21T19:12:00.000+11:00

I saw the Grand Canyon with my brother and sister-in-law on my recent trip. On the way back from there to Phoenix, we took the scenic route, via Sedona and Jerome. Jerome was quite nice, although its main attraction was that it was a ghost town, and now that they've got a thriving tourist industry, it's no longer a ghost town, which means it's no longer really a tourist destination (which, of course, will turn it back into a ghost town, which will make it a tourist attraction, which will destroy the attraction for tourists, which...)

Sedona was a resort town not far away, with plenty of the weird and alien rock formations that used to appear in Roadrunner cartoons. Toffee apples were common in some shops (it was close to halloween) but I was quite stunned at the variety of flavours that toffee apples can apparently be. Here's a sample we saw in one shop window:

Peanut Toffee Apple
Macadamia Toffee Apple
Walnut Toffee Apple
Cashew Toffee Apple
Pecan Toffee Apple
Candy Toffee Apple
Choc Peanut Toffee Apple
Caramel Toffee Apple
Mudslide Toffee Apple
Rocky Road Toffee Apple
English Toffee Toffee Apple
Choc Chip Toffee Apple
Oreo Toffee Apple
M & M Toffee Apple
Apple Pie Toffee Apple
Snowball Toffee Apple
Cheesecake Toffee Apple

The song that got annoyingly stuck in my head today:
Pineapple Head, as sung by Natalie Imbruglia on an otherwise awesome album my lady friend got me.

More Tall Tales but True

2005-12-14T20:02:00.000+11:00

Another observation from my recent Great North American Odyssey of 2005:

Whilst perusing maps of Canada, I came across an unusually named town south-west of Calgary.

Head-Smashed-In Buffalo Jump.

Yes. You read that right. Hyphens and all.

Head-Smashed-In Buffalo Jump.

I really wish I'd gone there. It's World Heritage listed and everything.

The song that got stuck in my head today:
Common People. The William Shatner version.

I need...

2005-12-09T21:09:00.000+11:00

Well, I got this off Fluffy, who got it from Quirkie (apparently).

Type in "[your name] needs" into Google, and see what you get.

Leif Needs a Bath
Leif needs to get some of my "Love Gun"
Leif needs a beach house fund
Leif needs something that has more adjustability in the short lengths than a head hair trimmer
4 parts that Leif needs - rivets, anchor, gusset plate and wind vane
Leif needs conditioning before embarking on strenuous exercise such as running
Leif needs a priest
Leif needs a different boat, a larger one, and he needs to sell Staenk, as in pronto
Leif needs a lift from Salk to Pac Hall
If LEIF needs to process either a std::string or an RWCString, it converts these to LEIF::CString before processing

With christmas around the corner, I expect to see large boats and gusset plates under my tree this year. Although I could probably pass on the "Love Gun", whatever that may be.

Injuries

2005-12-09T18:59:00.000+11:00

I felt a twinge in my calf muscle whilst climbing stairs today, and I instantly thought, "Another pain."

For the record, here is a complete (current) list of Injuries I Am Carrying:

Right big toe; bony osteophytes
Left ankle; strained ligaments
Right calf; twinge (unknown)
Left hamstring; strain
Lower back; muscle pain
Right shoulder; restricted abduction movement (Or something. I can't lift my arm up sideways.)
Neck; muscle pain (and it cracks beautifully)
Left wrist; bony osteophytes
Left middle finger; damaged ligament

Which reminds me of Jerome K Jerome:

" I remember going to the British Museum one day to read up the treatment for some slight ailment of which I had a touch--hay fever, I fancy it was. I got down the book, and read all I came to read; and then, in an unthinking moment, I idly turned the leaves, and began to indolently study diseases, generally. I forget which was the first distemper I plunged into--some fearful, devastating scourge, I know--and, before I had glanced half down the list of "premonitory symptoms," it was borne in upon me that I had fairly got it.

I sat for awhile, frozen with horror; and then, in the listlessness of despair, I again turned over the pages. I came to typhoid fever--read the symptoms--discovered that I had typhoid fever, must have had it for months without knowing it--wondered what else I had got; turned up St. Vitus's Dance--found, as I expected, that I had that too,--began to get interested in my case, and determined to sift it to the bottom, and so started alphabetically--read up ague, and learnt that I was sickening for it, and that the acute stage would commence in about another fortnight. Bright's disease, I was relieved to find, I had only in a modified form, and, so far as that was concerned, I might live for years. Cholera I had, with severe complications; and diphtheria I seemed to have been born with. I plodded conscientiously through the twenty-six letters, and the only malady I could conclude I had not got was housemaid's knee.

I felt rather hurt about this at first; it seemed somehow to be a sort of slight. Why hadn't I got housemaid's knee? Why this invidious reservation? After a while, however, less grasping feelings prevailed. I reflected that I had every other known malady in the pharmacology, and I grew less selfish, and determined to do without housemaid's knee. Gout, in its most malignant stage, it would appear, had seized me without my being aware of it; and zymosis I had evidently been suffering with from boyhood. There were no more diseases after zymosis, so I concluded there was nothing else the matter with me."

I suspect my skeletomusclar system (musculoskeletal system?) is wearing very thin. If anyone has a replacement skeletomusclar system (musculoskeletal system?), and fells inclined to go for a bit of radical, ground-breaking experimental transplant action, get in touch.

(I've talked about this with My Lady Friend. We find a spare body, and divide it between us - she gets a new digestive system, I get a new skeleton, she gets a new skin, I get extra memory, etc.)

The song that got annoyingly stuck in my head today:
A new addition to the blog here. I thought it might help me. Today's entry is Gethsemane, from Jesus Christ Superstar. Why is that stuck in my head?

Room for rent

2005-12-06T21:37:00.000+11:00

My existing housemate is moving out, so if you (or someone you know) think you can bear living with me, (and that I can bear living with you), then leave something in the comments. It's a largish bedroom in East Melbourne for $120 a week + bond + bills.

In Japan...

2005-12-02T19:15:00.000+11:00

Something from the ever-amusing comedy gold field of dodgy translations:

Inviting information of a hot snack regularly cooked.

You can buy the vendor anytime after the restaurant is cloosed. Prease try it yourself.

You have only to pull the string to get hot dish.

Tales from Winnipeg (second helping)

2005-11-29T21:28:00.000+11:00

Whilst in Winnipeg we were looking for somewhere to watch the AFL grand final. One likely place was the Billabong Bar and Bistro, an Australian themed bar in the middle of Canada. It wasn't too tacky - there were boomerangs nailed to the walls, and a few kitsch-y 70's advertising posters hung around, but pretty low-key. A TV had been set up on one side of the bar, with enough space for 50 or so people (if they really crammed in). We were early, so I viewed the beers available. VB, Carlton Cold, Crown Lager, Boag's Premium, Steinlager (which is close enough), and Coopers Red (and probably some others I don't remember - Hahn?). I asked the (Canadian) barman for the Coopers, but only if he knew how to serve it. He nodded (with a wise smile to himself), pulled out a stubby, moved slightly so as to be in full view of the entire room, and rolled the beer on the bar.

This drew baffled looks from locals (as the barman intended), leading to a long and fruitful discussion about in-bottle fermenting. I was quite impressed.

As it was, the grand final drew about 30 people. Enough room to swing a small cat. Half were other ex-pats and backpackers, and half were locals wondering what the hell the rules were.

Tall Tales but True

2005-11-19T09:30:00.000+11:00

I kept a daily journal on the recent North American Odyssey of 2005, but I was a week or so in to the trip before I really got the hang of writing down the interesting stuff. Rather than go back and fill in the interesting stories in the journal, I'll put them up here. I may even post the interesting stories from later in the trip that were recorded, if you're nice to me.

Any objections?

No?

Good.

This tale relates to the war memorial in Winnipeg. When the Manitoban founding fathers decided to get themselves a war memorial, they announced a competition open to all sculptors and architects, the winner would have his (or her) memorial built in Bruce Park and $20,000.

Several entries came in, and after much deliberation, first prize was awarded to Emmanuel Hun.

Many people objected to this choice: "We can't have a memorial built by a German," they cried.

Good point, they thought. They gave the $20,000 to Emmanuel anyway (despite being German, he had lived in Canada for years), and then announced a new competition, only open to citizens of either the Commonwealth or the US, the winner would have his (or her) memorial built in Bruce Park and $5,000.

Several entries came in, and after much deliberation, first prize was awarded to Elizabeth Stockton. A wise choice (they thought), a woman (showing how progressive we are) and also born and bred in Winnipeg.

Many people objected to this choice: "Isn't Elizabeth Stockton married to Emmanuel Hun?" they cried.

Good point again, they thought. By this stage they were getting pretty damn sick of the whole thing, and so they gave Elizabeth the $5,000, picked a second prize from the entries they already had, and rapidly built it before anyone could complain.

I thoroughly recommend the Muddy Water Walking Tour, if you're ever in Winnipeg. Quite interesting.

Back home

2005-11-15T21:14:00.000+11:00

So, I'm back home. Yes, I had a great time, thank you. Highlights included Casa Loma in Toronto, the old city in Montreal, the city walls of Quebec, the Met, MoMA and most of the rest of New York, and the Grand Canyon. It was also cool to catch up with some people: Mike, who admitted he was quite drunk when he made this extreme comment, Whitney, and her lovely boyfriend Shane (who drove from New Hampshire to New Haven just to see me - thanks guys), and my brother and sister-in-law (who gave me a look at the Phoenix zoo from the inside). I might put some pictures up if I ever get around to working out why the hard drive can't locate the scanner. I took nearly thirteen rolls worth, so there's heaps of good ones.

(Yes, I have an antique film-type camera, which apparently no longer exist in technologically advanced places, like Japan. A customs officer at Narita airport shoved aside various medicines in my carry-on bag and waved the camera at me urgently. "Where screen? Where screen?" He then closely investigated my mini-torch before a more senior customs officer told him to stop being so bloody-minded about stuff and let me go.)

Itinerary

2005-09-17T08:34:00.000+10:00

Here's roughly where I'll be for the next six weeks.

Monday 19th. Leave Melbourne
(via Tokyo and Portland)

Tuesday, 11.30-ish; arrive Vancouver.
Tuesday, 5.30; Catch train

Wednesday, over the Rockies.

Thursday, arrive Winnipeg.

Friday night, sports bar in Winnipeg to watch AFL Grand Final.

Weekend in and around Winnipeg

Monday (26th); Winnipeg to Toronto.

Friday (30th); Toronto to Montreal

A week in Montreal, but some of this time will be spent in Quebec as well.

Friday (7th); Montreal to Boston.

Weekend in Boston.

Monday (10th); New York City.

Now I leave NYC on Wednesday the 19th, but I would like to get to Washington for a couple of days at least. It's all a bit flexible here.

Wednesday (19th); NYC to Phoenix.

And I'll be spending time in Phoenix with my brother. There were some grand plans to see the Grand Canyon and Las Vegas, but we'll have to see how we go.

Friday 28th; Depart LA.

Sunday 30th; Arrive Melbourne.

Monday 31st; Call in sick at work.

Ouch

2005-09-11T22:35:00.000+10:00

Sorry about lack of posting, it's been a bit of a stressful week. I've been trying to finalise holiday stuff (I fly out next Monday), tie up a stack of loose ends at work before I leave for six weeks, and prepare for the preliminary final against Altona (we went down 3-2 and I'm not talking about it).

Worst of all, Dad got put in hospital on Monday, with a compound fracture of the leg.

He was up on the roof cleaning some of the boards around the back of the side deck (behind the chimney). The ladder collapsed from under him when he stepped on it. He did this while Mum was out - so he had to use the other ladder as a sort of walking frame to slowly drag himself inside the house, through the mezzanine, up the stairs to the lounge, and across to the phone to call Mum - who came home and instantly called an ambulance. Bones sticking through skin are generally not good news. He went to Leongatha hospital, where x-rays showed a swirl break in the tibia (near the ankle) and another break in the fibula (near the knee). They set things straight at Leongatha, but it needed surgery, and there's no orthopaedic surgeon in Leongatha. There was an orthopaedic surgeon in Traralgon, but no bed for him there. Same at Monash, and the reverse at Dandenong. Eventually they found both a bed and an orthopaedic surgeon at the Alfred hospital, where they operated at least ten hours after he'd broken it. They open up the leg near the kneecap, drill a hole all the way down the tibia, and drop a titanium rod down the length of the bone. A couple of screws to hold it in place, and you're done.

They also wanted to assist the healing process by putting him in a hyperbaric chamber, so he casually asked the doctors if he would be allowed to have a smoke while he was in there.

Precisely one of the eight doctors got the joke.

Ultimately he failed in the hyperbaric chamber after his ears started to implode when they'd only got to 20% of the normal operating pressure.

A second operation was required a week later, as it had got infected, and they needed to drain the wound of whatever junk was holding up the swelling, and he's now hooked up to a pump that continually sucks the stuff out of the leg, keeps him awake at nights, and prevents him from sneaking out the back door with the guy in the next bed (skiing accident) for a cigarette.

So, I'm very worried about him. These things don't heal so quick when your in your 50's. Although he could quite easily have broken a pelvis instead, which means he would have been lying out there till Mum had got home, and the internal bleeding could have well and truly got him by then. We will have stern words to him about what he is and isn't allowed to do on his own from now on. Again.

I just want him home before I leave. That's all.

New Orleans II

2005-09-06T00:14:00.000+10:00

Well, I seem to have fired up a few of my readers.

anonymous said...

You probably didn't even do the research yourself. I'm sure you found all that somewhere else

Well, yes, anonymous (if that is your real name). I did find it all somewhere else. When I researched it.

Many of you, however, have missed the point.

anonymous said...

... How would anybody be prepared for something so unsuspected? ...

w may said...

How do you prepare for a storm that causes this much damage?

anonymous said...

No one ... can be prepared for the forces of Mother Nature.

It's as though you're all surprised that this has happened. And this was the point I was making. There are plenty of hurricanes that happen every hurricane season. A whole season of them, even. It's a matter of time before one hits a major metropolis. This was always going to happen. And it will certainly happen again. One of these days a category 5 storm will take out New Orleans. Or Miami. Or anywhere.

Scientific American, October, 2001.

A major hurricane could swamp New Orleans under 20 feet of water, killing thousands. Human activities along the Mississippi River have dramatically increased the risk, and now only massive reengineering of southeastern Louisiana can save the city.

If a big, slow-moving hurricane crossed the Gulf of Mexico on the right track, it would drive a sea surge that would drown New Orleans under 20 feet of water.

New Orleans is a disaster waiting to happen. The city lies below sea level, in a bowl bordered by levees that fend off Lake Pontchartrain to the north and the Mississippi River to the south and west.

Scientists at Louisiana State University (L.S.U.), who have modeled hundreds of possible storm tracks on advanced computers, predict that more than 100,000 people could die.

Minutes of a presentation by Dr Kevin Robbins, Director, Southern Regional Climate Center, "How much wind and rainfall could we get?"

He showed a slide demonstrating the tracks of the six major (Category 3 or above) Louisiana storms to make landfall over the past 50 years, which included Audrey (1957, Cat 4); Hilda (1964, Cat 3); Betsy (1965, Cat 3); Camille (1969, Cat 5); Carmen (1974, Cat 3); and Andrew (1992, Cat 3). As evidenced from the tracks of these six major storms, Dr. Robbins pointed out that New Orleans has not sustained a direct hit, but has had quite a few narrow misses.

...

Dr. Robbins summarized the following in regards to wind potential, focusing on the New Orleans study area:
• The Gulf Coast is an active region in terms of storm intensity and frequency;
• Fortunately, storms dissipate rather quickly as they move inland, and Louisiana’s most populated cities are located inland;
• Storm track has a major influence on wind intensity for New Orleans (Consider Betsy versus Andrew) and overall storm effects in major cities; and
• New Orleans is in a prime location for being ‘hit’ by a major hurricane
...

Dr. Robbins summarized rainfall potential for the New Orleans study area in the following way:
• Historical data on tropical storms and hurricanes demonstrate that 15-20 inches of rainfall is not uncommon;
• Time distribution of the rainfall, moisture, storm surge prior to a rainfall event, levee systems surrounding cities, and conditions before a storm are all important factors in determining rainfall estimates;
• Flooding in New Orleans from a major tropical storm is a disaster waiting to happen, due to the unique characteristics of the area (e.g. areas below sea level in a flood prone area, levee system “bowl,” etc.) Combining factors such as storm surge with rainfall will create major problems, with nowhere for the water to drain.

National Geographic, October, 2004.

The chances of such a storm hitting New Orleans in any given year are slight, but the danger is growing. Climatologists predict that powerful storms may occur more frequently this century, while rising sea level from global warming is putting low-lying coasts at greater risk. "It's not if it will happen," says University of New Orleans geologist Shea Penland. "It's when."

Center for the Study of Public Health Impacts of Hurricanes, Louisiana State University, 2003(?)

Categorized by the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) as one of the top three “likeliest, most catastrophic disasters facing this country,” a major hurricane striking the city of New Orleans has been an impending disaster on FEMA's radar since at least 2001.

I'm not poking fun at all, as some unkind people have suggested. I'm as serious about this as the next person. I'm certainly not taking a holiday, practising my back-hand and shoe-shopping. I'm completely staggered that this sort of thing is allowed to just happen, while everyone throws their arms in the air and says that we couldn't have done anything.

We could have, perhaps, reinforced the levees.

For the first time in 37 years, federal budget cuts have all but stopped major work on the New Orleans area's east bank hurricane levees, a complex network of concrete walls, metal gates and giant earthen berms that won't be finished for at least another decade.

We could have had an evacuation plan.

And the evacuation was little more than a vague order to get the hell out -- under your own power and at your own expense. If you have, at your immediate disposal, reliable transportation, money for gas, and either distant family OR money for shelter, then this isn't a big deal. Of course you leave. You pack up everything you can and you head for higher ground. But it is somewhat less easy to do if you are lacking any one of these things, AND you have been informed that what little earthly lot you may claim is about to be destroyed. Do you hang on and try to save what you can? Do you let it go and return to less than nothing?

What the hell do you do?

We could have stuck to the original plan.

For example, in the 1990s, in planning for a New Orleans nightmare scenario, the federal government figured it would pre-deploy nearby ships with pumps to remove water from the below-sea-level city and have hospital ships nearby, said James Lee Witt, who was FEMA director under President Clinton.

Federal officials said a hospital ship would leave from Baltimore on Friday.

Et cetera. So much that could have been done by all levels of government. I'm not just attacking Bush here. This is the result of a systematic failure to prepare for disaster.

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Research greatly assisted by Mr Lefty, Tim Dunlop, and Barista.

New Orleans

2005-09-04T12:14:00.000+10:00

How many other people find it astounding that the US was completely unprepared for a basic hurricane.

Yes, a basic hurricane. This is something that has happened before, and will happen again. Katrina was a category 4 storm. These are quite common. Hurricanes Gilbert (Carribean, 1988), Andrew (Florida, 1992), and Iris (Belize, 2001) were all category 5 storms. During 2004, Hurricanes Charley (Florida), Frances (Bahamas), Ivan (Granada), and Jeanne (Haiti) were all storms that reached category 4 or 5.

So, three or four major hurricanes hit the region every year. We've seen the devastation that nature can cause time and time again. Hurricanes. Earthquakes. Tsunamis.

And the US is still unprepared for a basic natural disaster.

If I were living on a fault line in San Francisco, I'd be asking some serious questions. Or moving. You're clearly not ready.

Concussion

2005-09-04T11:35:00.000+10:00

We lost the semi-final. 3-1. We deserved to lose since we didn't play anywhere near as good as we know we can. I played all right, up until I got shouldered in the head and woke up flat on my back, blinking my way out of darkness and trying to see if I was bleeding anywhere. We were 2-1 down at that point, with only 90 seconds left to play. Footscray got a final breakaway goal after Mentone pushed the whole team forward, desperately trying to get an equaliser, so the game was a lot closer than the result might suggest. Both sides missed several opportunities.

Still, it's good to know that we only just lost, and if we lift a bit, I'm sure we'll beat them in two weeks time. I'm not worried about the preliminary next week - we beat Altona comfortably during the season - with Altona providing the umpires, so a good fair game shouldn't be a problem for us. Over-confidence? Perhaps a little.

Still sick

2005-08-30T22:08:00.000+10:00

I'm slowly getting better, but not fast enough. I mean, at least I'm eating again, and the fever of 39.2^o has settled down. But I'm still coughing, as though I've got just one piece of phlegm in my lungs, and I've almost got it out.

I tried to go to hockey training tonight. I jogged a lap to warm up, and by the end of it the coughing had got so bad that I immediately went in and got changed and took no further part in the action. And it's a semi-final on this Saturday.

I have 5 days to get healthy.

Smitten with Lurgy

2005-08-23T15:27:00.000+10:00

I have the flu. An odd kind of flu. A small headache, but nothing too severe. A scratchy throat, with a lot of dryness. A stomach that feels a bit queasy from time to time. The nose goes a little snuffly occasionally. Individually, nothing to complain about, but it's all very tiring.

Every so often I get a warning sign: My saliva goes suddenly very thin and watery, and then its time to get up and rush to the bathroom to throw up whatever it was I managed to eat three hours ago.

I'm choosing meals quite carefully. There's a peculiar kind of despair in fixing yourself a meal that you know is going to come right back in three hours time.

Oh, woe is me.

What's the most awful sound in the world?

2005-08-20T22:01:00.000+10:00

So, I was coaching my under 17s. I coach a junior hockey side, for those who are relatively new to this blog. It's a mixed team - there's about 8 boys and 6 girls. There's a mix of skill across this group - some of them have a lot of potential - others, well, they try their hardest, and that's all I ask of them.

One girl, let's call her Cassie, is an absolute treasure. By far the smallest member of the team, she might not be the most talented, but she's done quite well in her first year of hockey, and she keeps a positive attitude at all times. I've taught her how to play right wing. One of the jobs of a right wing is to place yourself near the right goalpost when someone else is shooting for goal - if the shot strays a little, you just deflect it in. Cassie has picked up a couple of goals this season in exactly that fashion, and it's quite inspiring to see her confidence increase after she gets one. Those are the moments when I remember how good it is to coach these kids.

Last Friday Cassie gets herself into a perfect position on the post, just as one of the boys was lining up a little recklessly. The shot, naturally, went astray, going not just to the right, but also up in the air.

The most awful sound in the world is the combined sound of bone going crunch and gristle going squish. For several long gut-wrenching moments I thought she'd lost an eye.

I got there first and gently pulled her hands away from her face in order to see the damage. A splurge of blood came out, and she cried that she had broken her nose. Is it strange to say I felt relieved at that point? Noses, you see, heal quite well. Eyes are a bit less reparable.

She was ambulanced from the ground to the emergency department at Monash hospital, and I got on with the task of settling down the rest of the team, who were so traumatised that they ended up playing their best hockey of the season, very nearly pulling off an upset victory over a team that has only lost two games this year. It was only a lucky breakaway goal in the dying seconds that saved the game for them, and we went down 3-2.

Cassie took no part in the game at all. She'd been hit during the warm-up.

I ducked in to Monash after the game, and Cassie was stretched out in paediatrics, neck brace and all, unable to see anything except the ceiling. She asked who it was, and I told her. She immediately said, in a cute small-girl-y voice, "Sorry I couldn't make the game, Leif. I got a bit stuck here."

She has broken a small bone in her nose, and the top of her cheekbone, but there is no permanent damage. I'm confident that she'll be back next year, swooping in on that right post. Although she might be ducking a little quicker.

Mystery of the week

2005-08-09T21:27:00.000+10:00

Found

One photo. Wallet size (approx 6cm by 8cm). Depicts a young couple. Him on the right, short hair (shaved at sides), seated, wearing black tux, white gloves, pink rose in buttonhole and black bowtie slightly askew. Her on the left, standing but leaning in to him with one arm around his shoulders, white wedding dress, long red curly hair (quite stunning), white gloves to elbow, string of pearls(?) around right wrist, right hand holding pink rose bouquet (matching the buttonhole). The background is that mottley brown-y thing used by professional photograsphers as a background, so no other clues there. Written on the back in big round letters:

-94-
To Leightypoo,
I will always
love you no matter
what. I will always
clench my fist when
someone looks at
you. Your beautiful
& I hope everything
works out for
you. Love.
Tashiepoo!

If only my scanner was working, you'd be able to see how that last exclamation mark doesn't end in a dot, but a heart. (Awwww.)

Why is this lying on a footpath in East Melbourne? Who are Leightypoo and Tashiepoo? Does anyone want this photo back?

Until I hear from either Leightypoo or Tashiepoo I have myself a new bookmark.

Some driving terminology

2005-07-31T19:03:00.000+10:00

Is there a word that describes the sense of relief you feel when you dodgily run an amber light, and then see in your rear-view mirror that another car has come through the intersection behind you?

Conversely, is there a word for the sudden panic that overcomes you when you decide to dodgily run an amber light, and just as you press down on the pedal, the car in front brakes?