Daily Gyaan

Picture of the day #62

2006-01-28T17:15:00.000-08:00

A Good is Rewarded Ten-fold!

2006-01-25T12:39:00.000-08:00

An older father noticed his son's Viagra tablets in the medicine cabinet. "Could I try one?" he asked.

"Sure," his son replied, "but make the most of it. Each of those pills costs ten bucks."

His dad was shocked by the price. "Don't worry," he promised. "I'll pay you back."

The next morning the son found an envelope under his breakfast plate. Inside was $110.

"Dad," he said, "that pill only cost $10."

"I know," his father said, smiling. "The ten is from me. The hundred is from your mother."

Know Thyself!

2006-01-25T12:36:00.000-08:00

Four out of Five Ain't Bad

2006-01-25T12:30:00.000-08:00

Quote of the Day #164

2006-01-25T12:04:00.000-08:00

There are painters who transform the sun to a yellow spot, but there are others who with the help of their art and their intelligence, transform a yellow spot into the sun.

-- Pablo Picasso

Picture of the Day #61

2006-01-11T10:01:00.000-08:00

Rootbear Falls by Will Cotton

Globalisation

2006-01-11T06:16:00.000-08:00

Peace

2006-01-10T08:14:00.000-08:00

Quote of the Day #163

2006-01-02T10:07:00.000-08:00

The price one pays for pursuing any profession or calling is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side.

-- James Baldwin

A Winter Forecast

2006-01-01T10:47:00.000-08:00

It was October. and the Native Americans on a remote reservation asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like.

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared. But being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is the coming winter going to be cold?"

"It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold," the meteorologist at the weather service responded.

So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared. A week later he called the National Weather Service again. "Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?"

"Yes," the man at the National Weather Service again replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter."

The chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find. Two weeks later he called the National Weather Service again. "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"

"Absolutely," the man replied. "It's looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters ever."

"How can you be so sure?" the chief asked. The weatherman replied, "People are collecting firewood like crazy."

How NOT to Kill Your Spouse 101

2005-12-16T09:38:00.000-08:00

Whipped Cream?

2005-12-14T16:28:00.000-08:00

Quote of the Day #162 [or Today's Dose of Syrupy Love]

2005-12-04T06:53:00.000-08:00

The kiss you take is paid by that you give:
The joy is mutual, and I'm still in debt.

-- George Granville, Lord Landsdowne, Heroic Love (act V, sc. 1)~

Scott Adams on Cloning

2005-12-02T11:44:00.000-08:00

I don’t have to tell you that there are plenty of good reasons to want your own clone:

a. Spare parts.

b. Slave labor.

c. Decoy in case of assassination attempts.

d. Source of excellent practical jokes on the spouse.

e. Reasonable doubt when you kill someone.

And that’s not even counting if you’re gay. But on the other side, there’s really just one reason you can’t have your own clone: It’s immoral. Sure, it’s illegal too, but that’s mostly because it’s immoral, so it’s really just one reason.

I always wonder who gets to decide what’s immoral when it comes to brand new things that aren’t anything like old things that we all agree on. It’s exactly this sort of question that makes me unfit to hold any kind of elected office. I always lean toward the practical approach that doesn’t make a good sound bite. For example, my political platform would include “Let’s make a few human clones just to see if any of them become soulless zombies intent on eating our flesh before descending to the bowels of Hell.” See what I mean? It makes a crappy bumper sticker.

The big question with clones is how they get their souls, assuming souls exist. If God gives them brand new souls, then they aren’t actually clones at all. They’d be fundamentally different. But it also makes God more of a soul gumball machine than the omnipotent creator of the universe. The scientist who makes the clone would, in effect, be controlling God by making him pinch out another soul to inhabit the clone. That’s disturbing on many levels, not the least of which is the way I phrased it.

But maybe your clone gets half of your soul, say 10.5 grams worth. That would suck too. I have enough trouble dancing with the little bit of a soul I allegedly have. If you cut that in half, I’m polka dancing.

If each of your clones has a new and different soul, but everything else is the same, we’d probably start assigning letters to keep them straight – A,B,C, etc. And that suggests the one best reason to not clone yourself: Everyone would call you an A-soul.

This guy is hilarious even when he's not drawing Dilbert.

Picture of the Day #60

2005-12-02T10:32:00.000-08:00

Picture of the Day #59

2005-12-01T00:46:00.000-08:00

A Woman Who Reads

2005-11-30T19:46:00.000-08:00

One morning a husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, his wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, drops anchor and begins to read her book. Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies.

"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.

"I'm sorry, Officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,"says the woman.

"But I have not even touched you," says the game warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

"Have a nice day, ma'am," he said, and left.

Moral of this story: Never argue with a woman who reads. It is likely she can also think.

Brain Teasers

2005-11-29T13:00:00.000-08:00

That is so Hannibal Lector!

Picture of the Day #58

2005-11-27T17:13:00.000-08:00

Quote of the Day #161

2005-11-20T03:00:00.000-08:00

Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it.

-- Alfred Hitchcock

Quote of the Day #160

2005-11-20T01:06:00.000-08:00

-- Unknown

Picture of the Day #57

2005-11-12T13:08:00.000-08:00

Random Sentence of the Day

2005-11-09T02:59:00.000-08:00

The mysterious asteroid gets stinking drunk, but a roller coaster for a graduated cylinder feverishly befriends some boiled scythes.

Poem of the Day #3

2005-11-08T08:22:00.000-08:00

Little Miss Muffet

Little Miss Muffet
sat on a tuffet,
Eating her curds and whey.

There came a big spider,
Who sat down beside her.
And frightened Miss Muffet away!

Picture of the Day #56

2005-11-07T08:33:00.000-08:00